The Proposal Ten Months in the Making
I guess I've made you wait long enough to hear the details of Ellvin Kelvin's perfect proposal. But first, one must understand the lengths he went through to pop this question.
The first we heard about Ellvin Kelvin wanting to propose was months before our Alaskan cruise. He thought it would be incredibly special if he proposed on the ship. Originally we had planned to include Amazing Grace's parents on the cruise, but she had just started a new job and couldn't take the time off.
Ellvin Kelvin was looking for some clever ideas for a memorable proposal. He had asked us about putting the engagement ring inside a golfball because she collects golfballs. So Father Routes and I set out to find a golfball to carve open. Unfortunately, golfballs contain toxic materials inside to help them fly farther. But, on a trip to Big 5 to buy binoculars for the trip, out of nowhere we found a golfball shaped keychain that held lip balm. The ball screwed off to reveal the chapped-lip relief. It was perfect.
Mother Routes scooped out all the lip balm (and saved it in a zip-lock bag of course) and inserted a ring holder and set the ring inside. It was so perfect it was awesome. Then, on the cruise ship, we gave the ball to Ellvin Kelvin.
But alas, it was not-to-be. Ellvin Kelvin did not feel right with all of our family there and none of Amazing Grace's present. After that, time passed with still no proposal.
Then, after I learned that he and Amazing Grace were coming to California for vacation, I proposed two proposal ideas to him, each involving the golfball. The first was to pop the question while riding Soarin' Over California at Disney's California Adventure. During the scene where you fly over Palm Springs, a golfer drives a golfball directly at the riders. I told Ellvin Kelvin to mimic catching the golfball, opening it during the sunset beach scene and asking her for her hand, and then if all went according to plan, she would have said yes during the fireworks sequence. It was corny, but I thought memorable.
The second idea was too stupid to document on this blog. Something about proposing on the ski slopes on a double diamond course. Diamond... get it? Nevermind.
Well, Ellvin Kelvin almost used my idea on Soarin' Over California, but the moment didn't feel right. There were too many people and it was way too loud. So he just looked over at me and shook his head. There would be another time, but would it be soon?
Yes it would. Two days later, Ellvin Kelvin and Amazing Grace went hiking on Mt. Baldy. During the hike, Ellvin Kelvin dropped the golfball in the snow and pointed it out to Amazing Grace. She noticed that it held something inside and immediately began unscrewing it as Ellvin Kelvin dropped to his knee. The rest is history.
So we're in overdrive trying to figure out weeding details. It's on the fasttrack for this Fall, so it's very hectic right now. But everyone is very happy to have Amazing Grace join our family!
Wedding - noun. The process of removing weeds from one's garden.
Ricky
Friday, January 30, 2009
Two Weeks Ago
--Cue Lost flashback noise--
So quickly does two weeks fly. Ellvin Kelvin and Amazing Grace came to town and my oh my, lots happened.
When they came back, we threw a party at our house. We had Hawaiian food, tofu, and veggies. And for dessert, fudgecicles! And oh all the Rock Band we played that night. I think they really enjoyed it.
The next few days, the happy couple did their own thing while Timotei and I went to work. But Friday morning brought about our trip to Mammoth for some snowboarding.
As I mentioned last time, this was my first time snowboarding since my embarrassing snowboard incident that everyone knows about. What's that? I've never actually blogged about that incident? Let's make this quick:
It was back in 2002; winter break when I was still in college. Last documented in my "The Mammoth Prophecies" Route, I attempted to snowboard because everyone was doing it. So I was thrown up on the mountain and told to stay on my heels and I'm good. Well, I wasn't good. Ski lifts were a bitch to get off of and I was falling on my knees and face every seven seconds. Having had enough during a blue intermediate run and able to see the end just out of reach, I unbounded my feet and trekked down the mountain. Even though the walk was a lot longer than I had anticipated, it was still less painful than if I had attempted to falling leaf it down.
So I was never able to live that down and I never wanted to hit the slopes again. But one week ago, I was given the opportunity to prove myself. But I was going to do it right this time. Amazing Grace and I took a three hour adult snowboarding class. I wanted to know if it was just me sucking at another sport or something else.
Lo-and-behold I caught on! It was tough at first, and throughout the day I still fell flat on my face, ass, and knees, but at the attempt to carve! I was carving down the mountain (in short bursts, but carving none the less). Snowboarding was great and I want to go every season now.
The second big event was Disneyland the very next day after we got back from Mammoth. K-mart and Erico Suave got us into the parks. The thing that sucks about going in the off-season is the illusion that the parks are bare ass empty. While the parks do have less crowds, the parks also hire less workers for the rides. So ride capacity was down which created lines for some rides that never have lines (not even in the summer). I'm looking at you Star Tours and Tower of Terror!
We ended the night with Fantasmic! with kick-ass seats thanks to Lethal Lisa and Mother Routes saving space for us. It was exhausting going through both Disneyland and Disney's California Adventure in 10 hours, but we did just about everything we wanted to do. It was just hectic as hell.
Oh and by the way, Ellvin Kelvin proposed to Amazing Grace. But you will have to wait till next time to hear about that!
Did she or didn't she???
Ricky
--Cue Lost flashback noise--
So quickly does two weeks fly. Ellvin Kelvin and Amazing Grace came to town and my oh my, lots happened.
When they came back, we threw a party at our house. We had Hawaiian food, tofu, and veggies. And for dessert, fudgecicles! And oh all the Rock Band we played that night. I think they really enjoyed it.
The next few days, the happy couple did their own thing while Timotei and I went to work. But Friday morning brought about our trip to Mammoth for some snowboarding.
As I mentioned last time, this was my first time snowboarding since my embarrassing snowboard incident that everyone knows about. What's that? I've never actually blogged about that incident? Let's make this quick:
It was back in 2002; winter break when I was still in college. Last documented in my "The Mammoth Prophecies" Route, I attempted to snowboard because everyone was doing it. So I was thrown up on the mountain and told to stay on my heels and I'm good. Well, I wasn't good. Ski lifts were a bitch to get off of and I was falling on my knees and face every seven seconds. Having had enough during a blue intermediate run and able to see the end just out of reach, I unbounded my feet and trekked down the mountain. Even though the walk was a lot longer than I had anticipated, it was still less painful than if I had attempted to falling leaf it down.
So I was never able to live that down and I never wanted to hit the slopes again. But one week ago, I was given the opportunity to prove myself. But I was going to do it right this time. Amazing Grace and I took a three hour adult snowboarding class. I wanted to know if it was just me sucking at another sport or something else.
Lo-and-behold I caught on! It was tough at first, and throughout the day I still fell flat on my face, ass, and knees, but at the attempt to carve! I was carving down the mountain (in short bursts, but carving none the less). Snowboarding was great and I want to go every season now.
The second big event was Disneyland the very next day after we got back from Mammoth. K-mart and Erico Suave got us into the parks. The thing that sucks about going in the off-season is the illusion that the parks are bare ass empty. While the parks do have less crowds, the parks also hire less workers for the rides. So ride capacity was down which created lines for some rides that never have lines (not even in the summer). I'm looking at you Star Tours and Tower of Terror!
We ended the night with Fantasmic! with kick-ass seats thanks to Lethal Lisa and Mother Routes saving space for us. It was exhausting going through both Disneyland and Disney's California Adventure in 10 hours, but we did just about everything we wanted to do. It was just hectic as hell.
Oh and by the way, Ellvin Kelvin proposed to Amazing Grace. But you will have to wait till next time to hear about that!
Did she or didn't she???
Ricky
Monday, January 19, 2009
Wow! I Got Shammed!
Well, I haven't exactly tried the ShamWow yet (very seldom does soda land on the carpet), but one thing is clear, this product is not the real ShamWow! Farghhh!
I unrolled one of the sets in my possession and noticed that the only thing printed on them is "Made in Germany; 100% Rayon." I know for a fact, because a co-worker showed me his set, that the true ShamWows have the ShamWow logos on them.
Even though they're an imitation, they still feel like the real thing. My only concern right now is if they used a real ShamWow for the demonstration and sold their fake one. If these shammies don't work as described, I might have to shut that cart down. Unethical business practice man, selling an imitation as the real thing.
Asswipes.
Initiating tests,
Ripped Off
Well, I haven't exactly tried the ShamWow yet (very seldom does soda land on the carpet), but one thing is clear, this product is not the real ShamWow! Farghhh!
I unrolled one of the sets in my possession and noticed that the only thing printed on them is "Made in Germany; 100% Rayon." I know for a fact, because a co-worker showed me his set, that the true ShamWows have the ShamWow logos on them.
Even though they're an imitation, they still feel like the real thing. My only concern right now is if they used a real ShamWow for the demonstration and sold their fake one. If these shammies don't work as described, I might have to shut that cart down. Unethical business practice man, selling an imitation as the real thing.
Asswipes.
Initiating tests,
Ripped Off
Saturday, January 17, 2009
A ShamSucker Born Every Minute
After 36,208 viewings of the infomercial, I finally caved in and bought a ShamWow set. That's four towels total; one for the house, the car, the boat, the RV.
In a few days I will blog about my experience with the ShamWow, but so far it has done an admirable job soaking up my $20.
But ya'll need to watch the infomercial done in front of your eyes. I saw a live demonstration at The Block in Orange and, dagnabbit, I challenge anyone to resist its charm.
But we shall soon see.
Shopping QVC,
Ricky
After 36,208 viewings of the infomercial, I finally caved in and bought a ShamWow set. That's four towels total; one for the house, the car, the boat, the RV.
In a few days I will blog about my experience with the ShamWow, but so far it has done an admirable job soaking up my $20.
But ya'll need to watch the infomercial done in front of your eyes. I saw a live demonstration at The Block in Orange and, dagnabbit, I challenge anyone to resist its charm.
But we shall soon see.
Shopping QVC,
Ricky
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Good Times; Good Eats; Getting Fat
It's a good time right now. Scrubs is back for a supposed final season (and it is really good) and Lost is almost back!!! Erico Suave, MacArthur, The Coxsmiths, and I just booked our flights to Orlando for our Spring Attractioning in Walt Disney World! Also Ellvin Kelvin is coming back in a few days with Amazing Grace. We are going to go snowboarding (first time since my infamous walk-down-the-mountain of shame) and visit Disneyland.
But there's always a catch. Usually by this time each year, I shed my extra holiday poundage. Not so much this year. I'm still a bloated cow. I went from being extra skinny with the help of P90X, but Thanksgiving, Las Vegas, and Christmas interrupted my 90 days and now I'm as big as ever.
Well I'm trying to put a stop to it. As I may have mentioned, we are going to visit a water park in Florida this year. That means I've got to get my six pack back in T-minus three months. Shit. You'd think I'd stop eating so much, but no.
Maybe I'll just wear a stylish shawl around my waist at all times.
Maybe,
Ricky
It's a good time right now. Scrubs is back for a supposed final season (and it is really good) and Lost is almost back!!! Erico Suave, MacArthur, The Coxsmiths, and I just booked our flights to Orlando for our Spring Attractioning in Walt Disney World! Also Ellvin Kelvin is coming back in a few days with Amazing Grace. We are going to go snowboarding (first time since my infamous walk-down-the-mountain of shame) and visit Disneyland.
But there's always a catch. Usually by this time each year, I shed my extra holiday poundage. Not so much this year. I'm still a bloated cow. I went from being extra skinny with the help of P90X, but Thanksgiving, Las Vegas, and Christmas interrupted my 90 days and now I'm as big as ever.
Well I'm trying to put a stop to it. As I may have mentioned, we are going to visit a water park in Florida this year. That means I've got to get my six pack back in T-minus three months. Shit. You'd think I'd stop eating so much, but no.
Maybe I'll just wear a stylish shawl around my waist at all times.
Maybe,
Ricky
Monday, January 05, 2009
Sans Soul
It's 2009 and that usually means "New Year - New You."
But I'm facing something terribly disturbing at the moment. I am finding that I think my soul is dissolving. What brought this thought on actually happened months ago, but only now did I put together the pieces.
What happened?
I was in the shower running down my third bar of Lever 2000 when it occurred to me to combine the three worn down mini-bars into one normal sized one. I took the three pieces into my hand and compressed them tightly, like Superman turning coal into diamonds. However, no matter how tightly I crushed them in my hand, they would not meld into one. When I was younger, merging two soap pieces was such an easy occurrence, but now it seems like such an impossible phenomenon.
Which brings me to my only logical conclusion: I no longer have a soul. It's the only explanation for not having the warmth in my palms to form new life (by which I do mean the soap).
You may think I'm full of crap, but there is just no other reasoning for it. Please pray for me.
Taking me not so seriously,
Ricky
It's 2009 and that usually means "New Year - New You."
But I'm facing something terribly disturbing at the moment. I am finding that I think my soul is dissolving. What brought this thought on actually happened months ago, but only now did I put together the pieces.
What happened?
I was in the shower running down my third bar of Lever 2000 when it occurred to me to combine the three worn down mini-bars into one normal sized one. I took the three pieces into my hand and compressed them tightly, like Superman turning coal into diamonds. However, no matter how tightly I crushed them in my hand, they would not meld into one. When I was younger, merging two soap pieces was such an easy occurrence, but now it seems like such an impossible phenomenon.
Which brings me to my only logical conclusion: I no longer have a soul. It's the only explanation for not having the warmth in my palms to form new life (by which I do mean the soap).
You may think I'm full of crap, but there is just no other reasoning for it. Please pray for me.
Taking me not so seriously,
Ricky
Thursday, January 01, 2009
20096,000
You can try all you want to find the hidden meaning behind this entry's title, but you ain't gonna find nothin' significante.
To be honest, I'm just a big "In The Heights" freak.
I'm sitting here at this moment watching the Rose Parade. It's the first time in a long while since I've watched it live or even cared to watch it in general. I'm so glad that this parade is still a great big deal for people. It's such a nice parade with a great gimmick; floats covered in organic material.
I watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade earlier this year and while I enjoyed it, giant balloons isn't as exciting as animated floats covered in flowers. That might have sounded sarcastic, but I'm dead serious. I'm really enjoying this parade. It must be due to my older age because it's actually bringing me delight.
Well, we rang in the new year playing Rock Band 2 and drinking J Cuvee Brut 20. But this time, the champagne tasted.......................................... different. I'm just not so sure about it anymore. Maybe it wasn't chilled long enough, but it had a plasticky taste this time around. And it wasn't as appley as I remembered. So, I think I'm back to Martinelli's Sparkling Cider and hard liquor shots.
Everyone have a safe new year. Hopefully this year will prove better than last year with Obama at the helm. DON'T TEXT AND DRIVE!
Stopping to smell the roses,
Ricky
You can try all you want to find the hidden meaning behind this entry's title, but you ain't gonna find nothin' significante.
To be honest, I'm just a big "In The Heights" freak.
I'm sitting here at this moment watching the Rose Parade. It's the first time in a long while since I've watched it live or even cared to watch it in general. I'm so glad that this parade is still a great big deal for people. It's such a nice parade with a great gimmick; floats covered in organic material.
I watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade earlier this year and while I enjoyed it, giant balloons isn't as exciting as animated floats covered in flowers. That might have sounded sarcastic, but I'm dead serious. I'm really enjoying this parade. It must be due to my older age because it's actually bringing me delight.
Well, we rang in the new year playing Rock Band 2 and drinking J Cuvee Brut 20. But this time, the champagne tasted.......................................... different. I'm just not so sure about it anymore. Maybe it wasn't chilled long enough, but it had a plasticky taste this time around. And it wasn't as appley as I remembered. So, I think I'm back to Martinelli's Sparkling Cider and hard liquor shots.
Everyone have a safe new year. Hopefully this year will prove better than last year with Obama at the helm. DON'T TEXT AND DRIVE!
Stopping to smell the roses,
Ricky
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Christmas in California
Before I talk about Christmas, I gotta mention Steve Byrne's gig at the Brea Improv. Steve Bryne is my new favorite stand-up comedian. He makes me want to pursue a career in stand-up. I'm still very much a Steven Lynch fan, but Steve Byrne is a more traditional type of comedian. So I'm all about the Steves of Comedy.
Anyway, he rocks and rocked. Here's our picture with him so I can brag and say I knew him when.
Okay, now on to the matter at hand. Christmas felt like a rip this year. I'm not complaining about dwindling present quantity or anything. I'm talking about quality family time. Because I had to work on Christmas Eve, the day felt shorter of course. But everyone was late because of traffic. And the fact that time flies when we play Rock Band, Christmas felt very short and uneventful. But we still got to see just about everyone, which was nice. Unfortunately, this was Ellvin Kelvin's first Christmas away from the family. He opted to skip Christmas in lue of a longer stay in late January with Amazing Grace. That should be a ton of fun.
And since I've been running behind with all these blogs, I might as well mention here that we had a crazy UFC fight / Rock Band all-nighter party. I didn't enjoy a filthy house afterward, but it was generally fun.
Wondering if this could have been a more boring blog entry,
Ricky
Before I talk about Christmas, I gotta mention Steve Byrne's gig at the Brea Improv. Steve Bryne is my new favorite stand-up comedian. He makes me want to pursue a career in stand-up. I'm still very much a Steven Lynch fan, but Steve Byrne is a more traditional type of comedian. So I'm all about the Steves of Comedy.Anyway, he rocks and rocked. Here's our picture with him so I can brag and say I knew him when.
Okay, now on to the matter at hand. Christmas felt like a rip this year. I'm not complaining about dwindling present quantity or anything. I'm talking about quality family time. Because I had to work on Christmas Eve, the day felt shorter of course. But everyone was late because of traffic. And the fact that time flies when we play Rock Band, Christmas felt very short and uneventful. But we still got to see just about everyone, which was nice. Unfortunately, this was Ellvin Kelvin's first Christmas away from the family. He opted to skip Christmas in lue of a longer stay in late January with Amazing Grace. That should be a ton of fun.
And since I've been running behind with all these blogs, I might as well mention here that we had a crazy UFC fight / Rock Band all-nighter party. I didn't enjoy a filthy house afterward, but it was generally fun.
Wondering if this could have been a more boring blog entry,
Ricky
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
A Vegas Rundown
I'm supposed to keep my big fat mouth SHUT about what went down in Las Vegas this past weekend, but who am I kidding? I'm a natural born snitch.
It all started when we arrived. But that's obvious. We were the first to arrive because we took the entire day off from work. That left us about 2 hours before anyone else would get there. So I got started with the gambling. I played Blackjack. Some dude next to me was criticizing the way I was double-downing and so I left. But I did leave $25 bucks up. Then I lost it on some stupid dice game called Chuck a Luck.
The rest of our co-workers arrived and we checked into our rooms. They had made a booze stop and so we were fully stocked. But a phone call from room service landed us some free champagne; a gift from a co-worker who couldn't make the trip! It was so nice! AND this champagne was actually GREAT! It was the first champagne I actually enjoyed. It was called J Cuvee Brut 20 and tasted fantastic. Plus it hit us hard after only two glasses. Sweet.
We went to Planet Hollywood to look for a karaoke bar and ended up getting wristbands to get into the club Prive for free. After a quick dinner, we went to the club to get in, but were denied entry. There was a good size crowd in front of the club waiting to get in, and since we had more guys than girls, they couldn't let us in unless we paid to reserve a table or bought a bottle of booze for "only" $375. Apparently the club had too many guys already. My co-worker was all like "No! We were told we could get in for free." They told us there were no exceptions, so not caring anymore, we said "fuck it," turned around and walked away. To our surprise, a manager chased us down and said "We just want you guys to have fun. What kind of deal can I offer you guys? Make me an offer." My co-worker replied "We don't want to buy any bottles or pay for a table. We were told we could get in for free and that's what we want." And so, he agreed and let us in for free.
As we escalated up the escalator into the club, suddenly the club seemed so pathetic chasing down people to get in. When we entered, we saw why he chased us down; the place was dead. We decided we needed a few shots to get into a dancing mood, so we asked the bartender for shots, her choice. She made us the House concoction that looked like Apple Pucker, amoretto, and cranberry juice. The shot was pathetic and, if you can believe it, actually felt like it was sobering us up from our initial champagne buzz. Weaksauce!
So we left that club and gambled a bit back at New York New York. At 4AM, we decided to go to the Hooters casino for 25¢ chicken wings. We ordered 80 wings and ended up eating about half of them.
So we slept and woke up at 10AM. Our plan for the day was to get brunch at the Bellagio buffet, but knowing it takes the goils a long time to get ready, I went downstairs to the roller coaster (the Manhattan Express as it's officially named). For a single ride, it costs $14! The last time I rode this was with Erico Suave when we were in middle or high school. I remember the ride being the worst roller coaster ever created. Being a coaster junkie when I was younger, I knew that developer Togo was known for shitty coasters. They were responsible for the crapfest that was Windjammer at Knott's (the lamest coaster ever to replace a beloved ride [the Soapbox Racers]). But I really wanted to ride it just for the hell of it. So, in order not to get ripped off, I bought the day pass for $25. That morning, I rode the ride and immediately remembered why the ride sucks. It's incredible jerky and rough. A shoulder harness sits on top but functions only to bruise your shoulders and chop at your neck. The only good part is the barrel roll... but it is not worth the pain to get to that one section.
At the Bellagio buffet, I had champagne and the best orange juice this side of the Mississippi. The buffet was good, but I just don't dig "all you can eat" places any more. There's way too much pressure and I hate being so full to the point of discomfort and nausea.
When we got back, it was just about time to ready to see the Cirque du Soleil show "KÁ." We bought killer seats (5th row center) and the show was amazing!!! By far my favorite Cirque show now. I could not believe my eyes.
When the show ended, we ate at McDonald's. Then our group split up. My co-worker's manager got him access to a private lounge at Mandalay Bay, but he was only able to take in a few people. Rather than fight over who gets to go, I decided to hang out with another co-worker at the Gameworks arcade. When midnight approached, I left Gameworks and endured the tourture of the Manhattan Express one last time in the front seat.
After the ride, I went back to the room and called Timotei to see where they were. They had just left for the lounge and told me to meet up with them. They had checked with the club and were being allowed to bring in all of us.
We drank. We smoked cigars. We partied and danced. There was an awkward and angry Bulgarian. The club was a blur, but it was hella fun as hell. There was also the nicest view of the strip I had ever seen. The private club was at the very top of Mandalay Bay, right next to the sign on the building.
Well anyway, I got sick, went back to my room, puked a bit, felt way better in the morning.
We had a quick breakfast at 'Wichcraft and then went home.
Sorry for the rushed ending. I'm kinda tired of telling this story.
Bottom line: Vegas fun. Can't wait to go back!
Clever salutation,
Ricky
I'm supposed to keep my big fat mouth SHUT about what went down in Las Vegas this past weekend, but who am I kidding? I'm a natural born snitch.
It all started when we arrived. But that's obvious. We were the first to arrive because we took the entire day off from work. That left us about 2 hours before anyone else would get there. So I got started with the gambling. I played Blackjack. Some dude next to me was criticizing the way I was double-downing and so I left. But I did leave $25 bucks up. Then I lost it on some stupid dice game called Chuck a Luck.
The rest of our co-workers arrived and we checked into our rooms. They had made a booze stop and so we were fully stocked. But a phone call from room service landed us some free champagne; a gift from a co-worker who couldn't make the trip! It was so nice! AND this champagne was actually GREAT! It was the first champagne I actually enjoyed. It was called J Cuvee Brut 20 and tasted fantastic. Plus it hit us hard after only two glasses. Sweet.
We went to Planet Hollywood to look for a karaoke bar and ended up getting wristbands to get into the club Prive for free. After a quick dinner, we went to the club to get in, but were denied entry. There was a good size crowd in front of the club waiting to get in, and since we had more guys than girls, they couldn't let us in unless we paid to reserve a table or bought a bottle of booze for "only" $375. Apparently the club had too many guys already. My co-worker was all like "No! We were told we could get in for free." They told us there were no exceptions, so not caring anymore, we said "fuck it," turned around and walked away. To our surprise, a manager chased us down and said "We just want you guys to have fun. What kind of deal can I offer you guys? Make me an offer." My co-worker replied "We don't want to buy any bottles or pay for a table. We were told we could get in for free and that's what we want." And so, he agreed and let us in for free.
As we escalated up the escalator into the club, suddenly the club seemed so pathetic chasing down people to get in. When we entered, we saw why he chased us down; the place was dead. We decided we needed a few shots to get into a dancing mood, so we asked the bartender for shots, her choice. She made us the House concoction that looked like Apple Pucker, amoretto, and cranberry juice. The shot was pathetic and, if you can believe it, actually felt like it was sobering us up from our initial champagne buzz. Weaksauce!
So we left that club and gambled a bit back at New York New York. At 4AM, we decided to go to the Hooters casino for 25¢ chicken wings. We ordered 80 wings and ended up eating about half of them.
So we slept and woke up at 10AM. Our plan for the day was to get brunch at the Bellagio buffet, but knowing it takes the goils a long time to get ready, I went downstairs to the roller coaster (the Manhattan Express as it's officially named). For a single ride, it costs $14! The last time I rode this was with Erico Suave when we were in middle or high school. I remember the ride being the worst roller coaster ever created. Being a coaster junkie when I was younger, I knew that developer Togo was known for shitty coasters. They were responsible for the crapfest that was Windjammer at Knott's (the lamest coaster ever to replace a beloved ride [the Soapbox Racers]). But I really wanted to ride it just for the hell of it. So, in order not to get ripped off, I bought the day pass for $25. That morning, I rode the ride and immediately remembered why the ride sucks. It's incredible jerky and rough. A shoulder harness sits on top but functions only to bruise your shoulders and chop at your neck. The only good part is the barrel roll... but it is not worth the pain to get to that one section.
At the Bellagio buffet, I had champagne and the best orange juice this side of the Mississippi. The buffet was good, but I just don't dig "all you can eat" places any more. There's way too much pressure and I hate being so full to the point of discomfort and nausea.
When we got back, it was just about time to ready to see the Cirque du Soleil show "KÁ." We bought killer seats (5th row center) and the show was amazing!!! By far my favorite Cirque show now. I could not believe my eyes.
When the show ended, we ate at McDonald's. Then our group split up. My co-worker's manager got him access to a private lounge at Mandalay Bay, but he was only able to take in a few people. Rather than fight over who gets to go, I decided to hang out with another co-worker at the Gameworks arcade. When midnight approached, I left Gameworks and endured the tourture of the Manhattan Express one last time in the front seat.
After the ride, I went back to the room and called Timotei to see where they were. They had just left for the lounge and told me to meet up with them. They had checked with the club and were being allowed to bring in all of us.
We drank. We smoked cigars. We partied and danced. There was an awkward and angry Bulgarian. The club was a blur, but it was hella fun as hell. There was also the nicest view of the strip I had ever seen. The private club was at the very top of Mandalay Bay, right next to the sign on the building.
Well anyway, I got sick, went back to my room, puked a bit, felt way better in the morning.
We had a quick breakfast at 'Wichcraft and then went home.
Sorry for the rushed ending. I'm kinda tired of telling this story.
Bottom line: Vegas fun. Can't wait to go back!
Clever salutation,
Ricky
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Revenge of the "Dynamite December Daze"
Wow, it's been five years since my "Dynamite December Daze" eventstravaganza! Has it been that long? I guess all my other Decembers have been pretty uneventful. But this is 2008 so here we go!
--- Angel Wing Jasmine 2-Day Disney BollyBlitz ---
The DDD events really started with Angel Wing Jasmine and Coxsmith's trip down yonder nether-regions. But I already blogged about that, so let's move on to future events.
--- Co-Worker Fuckin' Party ---
I apologize for the language, but this Saturday night, we're all gonna get f'ed the fuck up!!! Well, we have been getting bugged repeatedly by co-workers to host a house party at our house. I had been lackadaisical only because I did not want people to drive all the way out to the boonies just for a beer. But, they promised some nice housewarming gifts, so I caved. I do love me some regalos caros.
So this Saturday, one night only... We will drink. We will pizza. We will rock. Shitfaced, I shall document the night for this blog.
--- Annual Holiday Potfuck ---
Uh, so, it's really "potluck," but I just got so caught up in the last party part that the F word just slipped. Fuckin' awesome! But next Tuesday is our Annual Holiday Floor Potluck at work. This year, Timotei and I are joining forces to bring Famous Dave's cornbread muffins. They will be how you say fuckin' sweet as hell bitches!
--- New Yawk, Nevada ---
It may seem like this whole month is dedicated to my co-worker bees, but that's pretty much the truth. Next weekend, Timotei and I will be joining 9 co-workers and their significant others at Vegas to tear up the town. Oh yeah, right when we cross that stateline, I will transform into my player alter ego "Rude Dude Twenty-two." We'll see how many bitches score with me. Probably nud.
--- Comic-on ---
The night we return from Vegas, we will try to hit up a stand up act with half Irish, half Korean funnyman Steve Byrne. Hopefully we can make this. He is heil-larious.
--- X-mas and New Years ---
Same old. But also very fun. But the first without Ellvin Kelvin. He will be coming back in January though with Amazing Grace chillin' with the homies (meaning Timotei and me).
So that's my jam-packed December. Before I know it, there will be puke on my brand new house carpets and the month will be over. Thank Glob too because I can't wait till 2009. Oh shit. High school reunion...
"Dynamite December Daze" Part Deux starts neux!
Ricky
Wow, it's been five years since my "Dynamite December Daze" eventstravaganza! Has it been that long? I guess all my other Decembers have been pretty uneventful. But this is 2008 so here we go!
--- Angel Wing Jasmine 2-Day Disney BollyBlitz ---
The DDD events really started with Angel Wing Jasmine and Coxsmith's trip down yonder nether-regions. But I already blogged about that, so let's move on to future events.
--- Co-Worker Fuckin' Party ---
I apologize for the language, but this Saturday night, we're all gonna get f'ed the fuck up!!! Well, we have been getting bugged repeatedly by co-workers to host a house party at our house. I had been lackadaisical only because I did not want people to drive all the way out to the boonies just for a beer. But, they promised some nice housewarming gifts, so I caved. I do love me some regalos caros.
So this Saturday, one night only... We will drink. We will pizza. We will rock. Shitfaced, I shall document the night for this blog.
--- Annual Holiday Potfuck ---
Uh, so, it's really "potluck," but I just got so caught up in the last party part that the F word just slipped. Fuckin' awesome! But next Tuesday is our Annual Holiday Floor Potluck at work. This year, Timotei and I are joining forces to bring Famous Dave's cornbread muffins. They will be how you say fuckin' sweet as hell bitches!
--- New Yawk, Nevada ---
It may seem like this whole month is dedicated to my co-worker bees, but that's pretty much the truth. Next weekend, Timotei and I will be joining 9 co-workers and their significant others at Vegas to tear up the town. Oh yeah, right when we cross that stateline, I will transform into my player alter ego "Rude Dude Twenty-two." We'll see how many bitches score with me. Probably nud.
--- Comic-on ---
The night we return from Vegas, we will try to hit up a stand up act with half Irish, half Korean funnyman Steve Byrne. Hopefully we can make this. He is heil-larious.
--- X-mas and New Years ---
Same old. But also very fun. But the first without Ellvin Kelvin. He will be coming back in January though with Amazing Grace chillin' with the homies (meaning Timotei and me).
So that's my jam-packed December. Before I know it, there will be puke on my brand new house carpets and the month will be over. Thank Glob too because I can't wait till 2009. Oh shit. High school reunion...
"Dynamite December Daze" Part Deux starts neux!
Ricky
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