20096,000

You can try all you want to find the hidden meaning behind this entry's title, but you ain't gonna find nothin' significante.

To be honest, I'm just a big "In The Heights" freak.

I'm sitting here at this moment watching the Rose Parade. It's the first time in a long while since I've watched it live or even cared to watch it in general. I'm so glad that this parade is still a great big deal for people. It's such a nice parade with a great gimmick; floats covered in organic material.

I watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade earlier this year and while I enjoyed it, giant balloons isn't as exciting as animated floats covered in flowers. That might have sounded sarcastic, but I'm dead serious. I'm really enjoying this parade. It must be due to my older age because it's actually bringing me delight.

Well, we rang in the new year playing Rock Band 2 and drinking J Cuvee Brut 20. But this time, the champagne tasted.......................................... different. I'm just not so sure about it anymore. Maybe it wasn't chilled long enough, but it had a plasticky taste this time around. And it wasn't as appley as I remembered. So, I think I'm back to Martinelli's Sparkling Cider and hard liquor shots.

Everyone have a safe new year. Hopefully this year will prove better than last year with Obama at the helm. DON'T TEXT AND DRIVE!


Stopping to smell the roses,

Ricky

Christmas in California

Before I talk about Christmas, I gotta mention Steve Byrne's gig at the Brea Improv. Steve Bryne is my new favorite stand-up comedian. He makes me want to pursue a career in stand-up. I'm still very much a Steven Lynch fan, but Steve Byrne is a more traditional type of comedian. So I'm all about the Steves of Comedy.

Anyway, he rocks and rocked. Here's our picture with him so I can brag and say I knew him when.

Okay, now on to the matter at hand. Christmas felt like a rip this year. I'm not complaining about dwindling present quantity or anything. I'm talking about quality family time. Because I had to work on Christmas Eve, the day felt shorter of course. But everyone was late because of traffic. And the fact that time flies when we play Rock Band, Christmas felt very short and uneventful. But we still got to see just about everyone, which was nice. Unfortunately, this was Ellvin Kelvin's first Christmas away from the family. He opted to skip Christmas in lue of a longer stay in late January with Amazing Grace. That should be a ton of fun.

And since I've been running behind with all these blogs, I might as well mention here that we had a crazy UFC fight / Rock Band all-nighter party. I didn't enjoy a filthy house afterward, but it was generally fun.


Wondering if this could have been a more boring blog entry,

Ricky

A Vegas Rundown

I'm supposed to keep my big fat mouth SHUT about what went down in Las Vegas this past weekend, but who am I kidding? I'm a natural born snitch.

It all started when we arrived. But that's obvious. We were the first to arrive because we took the entire day off from work. That left us about 2 hours before anyone else would get there. So I got started with the gambling. I played Blackjack. Some dude next to me was criticizing the way I was double-downing and so I left. But I did leave $25 bucks up. Then I lost it on some stupid dice game called Chuck a Luck.

The rest of our co-workers arrived and we checked into our rooms. They had made a booze stop and so we were fully stocked. But a phone call from room service landed us some free champagne; a gift from a co-worker who couldn't make the trip! It was so nice! AND this champagne was actually GREAT! It was the first champagne I actually enjoyed. It was called J Cuvee Brut 20 and tasted fantastic. Plus it hit us hard after only two glasses. Sweet.

We went to Planet Hollywood to look for a karaoke bar and ended up getting wristbands to get into the club Prive for free. After a quick dinner, we went to the club to get in, but were denied entry. There was a good size crowd in front of the club waiting to get in, and since we had more guys than girls, they couldn't let us in unless we paid to reserve a table or bought a bottle of booze for "only" $375. Apparently the club had too many guys already. My co-worker was all like "No! We were told we could get in for free." They told us there were no exceptions, so not caring anymore, we said "fuck it," turned around and walked away. To our surprise, a manager chased us down and said "We just want you guys to have fun. What kind of deal can I offer you guys? Make me an offer." My co-worker replied "We don't want to buy any bottles or pay for a table. We were told we could get in for free and that's what we want." And so, he agreed and let us in for free.

As we escalated up the escalator into the club, suddenly the club seemed so pathetic chasing down people to get in. When we entered, we saw why he chased us down; the place was dead. We decided we needed a few shots to get into a dancing mood, so we asked the bartender for shots, her choice. She made us the House concoction that looked like Apple Pucker, amoretto, and cranberry juice. The shot was pathetic and, if you can believe it, actually felt like it was sobering us up from our initial champagne buzz. Weaksauce!

So we left that club and gambled a bit back at New York New York. At 4AM, we decided to go to the Hooters casino for 25¢ chicken wings. We ordered 80 wings and ended up eating about half of them.

So we slept and woke up at 10AM. Our plan for the day was to get brunch at the Bellagio buffet, but knowing it takes the goils a long time to get ready, I went downstairs to the roller coaster (the Manhattan Express as it's officially named). For a single ride, it costs $14! The last time I rode this was with Erico Suave when we were in middle or high school. I remember the ride being the worst roller coaster ever created. Being a coaster junkie when I was younger, I knew that developer Togo was known for shitty coasters. They were responsible for the crapfest that was Windjammer at Knott's (the lamest coaster ever to replace a beloved ride [the Soapbox Racers]). But I really wanted to ride it just for the hell of it. So, in order not to get ripped off, I bought the day pass for $25. That morning, I rode the ride and immediately remembered why the ride sucks. It's incredible jerky and rough. A shoulder harness sits on top but functions only to bruise your shoulders and chop at your neck. The only good part is the barrel roll... but it is not worth the pain to get to that one section.

At the Bellagio buffet, I had champagne and the best orange juice this side of the Mississippi. The buffet was good, but I just don't dig "all you can eat" places any more. There's way too much pressure and I hate being so full to the point of discomfort and nausea.

When we got back, it was just about time to ready to see the Cirque du Soleil show "KÁ." We bought killer seats (5th row center) and the show was amazing!!! By far my favorite Cirque show now. I could not believe my eyes.

When the show ended, we ate at McDonald's. Then our group split up. My co-worker's manager got him access to a private lounge at Mandalay Bay, but he was only able to take in a few people. Rather than fight over who gets to go, I decided to hang out with another co-worker at the Gameworks arcade. When midnight approached, I left Gameworks and endured the tourture of the Manhattan Express one last time in the front seat.

After the ride, I went back to the room and called Timotei to see where they were. They had just left for the lounge and told me to meet up with them. They had checked with the club and were being allowed to bring in all of us.

We drank. We smoked cigars. We partied and danced. There was an awkward and angry Bulgarian. The club was a blur, but it was hella fun as hell. There was also the nicest view of the strip I had ever seen. The private club was at the very top of Mandalay Bay, right next to the sign on the building.



Well anyway, I got sick, went back to my room, puked a bit, felt way better in the morning.

We had a quick breakfast at 'Wichcraft and then went home.

Sorry for the rushed ending. I'm kinda tired of telling this story.

Bottom line: Vegas fun. Can't wait to go back!


Clever salutation,

Ricky

Revenge of the "Dynamite December Daze"

Wow, it's been five years since my "Dynamite December Daze" eventstravaganza! Has it been that long? I guess all my other Decembers have been pretty uneventful. But this is 2008 so here we go!

--- Angel Wing Jasmine 2-Day Disney BollyBlitz ---
The DDD events really started with Angel Wing Jasmine and Coxsmith's trip down yonder nether-regions. But I already blogged about that, so let's move on to future events.

--- Co-Worker Fuckin' Party ---
I apologize for the language, but this Saturday night, we're all gonna get f'ed the fuck up!!! Well, we have been getting bugged repeatedly by co-workers to host a house party at our house. I had been lackadaisical only because I did not want people to drive all the way out to the boonies just for a beer. But, they promised some nice housewarming gifts, so I caved. I do love me some regalos caros.

So this Saturday, one night only... We will drink. We will pizza. We will rock. Shitfaced, I shall document the night for this blog.

--- Annual Holiday Potfuck ---
Uh, so, it's really "potluck," but I just got so caught up in the last party part that the F word just slipped. Fuckin' awesome! But next Tuesday is our Annual Holiday Floor Potluck at work. This year, Timotei and I are joining forces to bring Famous Dave's cornbread muffins. They will be how you say fuckin' sweet as hell bitches!

--- New Yawk, Nevada ---
It may seem like this whole month is dedicated to my co-worker bees, but that's pretty much the truth. Next weekend, Timotei and I will be joining 9 co-workers and their significant others at Vegas to tear up the town. Oh yeah, right when we cross that stateline, I will transform into my player alter ego "Rude Dude Twenty-two." We'll see how many bitches score with me. Probably nud.

--- Comic-on ---
The night we return from Vegas, we will try to hit up a stand up act with half Irish, half Korean funnyman Steve Byrne. Hopefully we can make this. He is heil-larious.

--- X-mas and New Years ---
Same old. But also very fun. But the first without Ellvin Kelvin. He will be coming back in January though with Amazing Grace chillin' with the homies (meaning Timotei and me).

So that's my jam-packed December. Before I know it, there will be puke on my brand new house carpets and the month will be over. Thank Glob too because I can't wait till 2009. Oh shit. High school reunion...


"Dynamite December Daze" Part Deux starts neux!

Ricky

Angel Wing Jasmine Gets Honeymoon 2.0

Two straight up full days at Disneyland. Wow. And diarrhea to boot.

Angel Wing Jasmine and hubby Coxsmith came down for a makeup honeymoon of sorts, but on a budget. They were down here for two days of Disneyland and Disney's California Adventure. In order to save up money for the big Florida trip in April, Erico Suave signed us into the parks and I offered to have them crash at my house for the weekend.

I'm not sure if they felt it was worth it though. Leaving Disneyland at 1:00AM each evening to drive half an hour to my house is not fun. They may have felt it would have been worth the money for a hotel. But they are welcome whenever they want.

Anyway, at Disneyland, with Erico Suave and MacArthur, we had so much fun. Just check out these pictures as photographic proof!












In that last photo, Chip was a freakin' perv. He kept grabbing at my sides making me bust out laughing. By the way, I got diarrhea by drinking an Iced Mocha and eating two Dole Whips. Never again.


Still exhausted,

Ricky

The Nose Knows Zit

Have you ever had a zit grow inside your nose?

I hadn't either. Just checking. Because it's gross.



BAH, who am I kidding? I created this blog entry because I got the most peculiar zit growing on the inside of my nose. Very peculiar in fact that it makes it impossible to pick boogers from my right nostril, which is fine by me because I never ever pick my nose. Ever.



For real. I nevers.

Why are my nostrils so ginormous then, you ask? Genetics. Seriously, my nostrils are so big, a group of spelunkers can go spelunking in them.

Speaking of spelunking, I'm so good at segues, we got free movie channels this past Thanksgiving weekend (and in fact we STILL have them!) and we watched a movie called The Descent. It is about 6 women who go cave exploring and then get caved in and these cave monsters that see like cave bats kill them in the cave. It was very very good until the ending which SUCKED.


Realizing that this would probably have worked better as a "Random Nation" post,

Ricky

Random Kingdom Nation #1

I've always wanted this blog not only to have long drawn-out thoughtful passages, but also short random toss-away posts of the weird and ridiculous whateverthings I come across in my everyday life and manage to snap pictures of.

This is the first of one of those posts.

Take a look at the sign below from a local boba shoppe:



Now it takes carelessness to misspell the word "Special." However, it takes pure talent to misspell it twice within the same word!

Unless someone can explain what Sepical Stew is. Perhaps they meant Septical--as in septic tank? That does sound "Yuumy!"


Original G Tea,

Ricky

Check 1 2 3 - We Got Traffic on the West Side

I. Am. Pissed.

I tried to get out to The Block in Orange to see Bolt with Erico Suave. However, fires happened.

Suddenly we are surrounded by fires! The whole world is burning before our eyes. And watch, the religious freaks will say that the fires are a result of God's anger towards all the anti-Prop 8 protests.

I went with Erico Suave to help protest Prop 8 last week in Laguna Beach. It felt really good exercising my Freedom of Speech rights. I really wanted to go to a protest today in Los Angeles, but couldn't find anyone to go with.



Not that I would have gotten there anyway with all the freeway closures! Sheesus Cripes!

So I first got stuck trying to get down to my folk's place to drop Timotei off. The 60 freeway was jammed, so we took surface streets-- along with everyone else and their mom. It took about an hour.

Then, with the 57 freeway shut down due to Brea fires, I attempted to go up Fullerton Road all the way into Brea and then into Orange.

But it took me 40 minutes to drive about 2 miles towards Fullerton Road. Once I had the street in sight, of course it was backed up. So I tried to jump ahead by going parallel to Fullerton and then cut across Colima Road. But that street was even more jammed. Realizing that I would be sitting on that street for another 40 minutes before even starting my way up Fullerton (which was even uglier), I surrendered. I called up Erico Suave and cancelled plans and drove to the folks' home.

And then I had trouble cancelling my online MovieTickets.com purchase. I told them that I could not get to the theater if I tried because of all the freeway closures and the fire. They told me that in order to cancel online ticket orders, I had to present my credit card in person at the theater. WHAT THE FIRE???

I bitched at them and after being passed up two levels of management, some lady said that she could try to credit my account by phone. Of course, she was able to, if you can charge over the phone you can refund. Stupid shitches! I will never buy from MovieTickets.com again. If they hadn't refunded me my $13.50, I would have bitched to AMC Corporate anyway and they would have done whatever to make me happy. I would have won either way, so I wasn't worried. But the gall. Go down to the theater to process a refund... such a retarded rule. And I hate using the word retarded. But it was seriously retarded.

Oh well, I can do a P90X workout now.


Calming down and relaxing,

Fuming

Th-Recaps

It was a busy time, the past 6 days.

Firstly: Hollow Weenie
Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios Barack'd! The event was fun and scary. Not sure if it was because it was Halloween night and that people would rather dress up than go to a theme park, or maybe because it was a Friday evening, or maybe it was because it was supposed to rain that night, but the park was not crowded at all.

We went through all the mazes. The most impressive maze for me was the Texas Chainsaw Massacre maze. It was the only one that was hands-down terrifying. The maze itself looked just like entering the house from the movie. And to have this huge chainsaw-wielding leather-faced maniac jump out from every corner really gets the blood pumping. But the Freddy Krueger and Jason mazes were awesome too! There's a part in the Nightmare on Elm Street maze where a giant stroller sits in a room. Then suddenly a strobe light goes off and Freddy Krueger's finger-knives are inches from your face. Really cool. I hope to make this an annual event!

Secondamundo: Steals Mannequin
On the day of the Jack's Mannequin concert, I wasn't really feeling like going to the concert after all. I generally get this feeling that I'm way too old for these kinds of things. Just seeing all the kids at these events makes me feel really old. But in the end, I'm glad I went.

As always, I was running late. When we got down to the pit, well, we couldn't get into the pit because it was packed to seemingly capacity. We had to settle behind people standing on the stairs that led to the pit. I hate being stuck behind people who don't get into the show. They just stand there and block the way. They kill the vibe. And that's exactly who we were stuck behind; people who were content standing elevated on the stairs and not letting anyone through. And don't even get me started on the fucking annoying ass couple in front of me. Girl was obviously dating the guy for his cash because he was ugggggggers and a huge geek!

But right as Jack's Mannequin started playing, the crowd in the pit lurched forward as always happens, and Rionheart forced his way through the stair-crowders. MEG, Agent J, and I latched onto him and zoomed into the pit! We landed behind a group of short chicks, so our view was AWESOME!

And the concert was awesome too! JM played most of their songs from their first album and new album and also, as a surprise, Something Corporate's "Cavanaugh Park!" Yeah, the entire thing Barack'd!

Thirdriht: Barack'd the Vote!
Woot! Woot! We did it! I can't believe it's been 4 years since I wrote this rant about Bush winning a second term. After reading through what I had written (I honestly don't remember writing that stuff), it's kind of scary how much of it came true. Of course, I'm not quite so sure that John Kerry would have been such a great choice, thinking back. At the time, yes, anyone would have been better than Bush. But it's interesting. If Kerry had been elected, we wouldn't be here today with our first black president. And the feelings of hope in the air, it's just so damn refreshing. I love it. We even got a cake to celebrate!



Hopefully I don't look back on this post and think, oops. I feel pretty confident that Obama will do us good. I mean, when we are so down low in the crapper, there's only one way to go-- UP!

The best thing about the election being over... Sarah Palin's hyper-psycho-religious candy ass can take a hike back to Alaska! Don't come back you uneducated dumbass bitch!


Tres!

Thr-icky

Thr-Events

It's a busy time, these upcoming 6 days.

First up: Halloween Horror Nights
It's been many years since I've gone to a Halloween theme park. I think it was way back in high school when I went to Knott's Scary Farm. This Friday, I will be going to Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights. I've heard that it's a lot better than Knott's in terms of quality. I just hope we'll get to do every thing. I can't wait to stare Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger square in the eyes and say "Bitch, make me a sandwich!"

Second up: Jack's Mannequin
At last! I've secured tickets to a Jack's Mannequin concert! One of my favorite bands to see perform live was Something Corporate. When Andrew McMahon split off and formed Jack's Mannequin, I was saddened. However, his new music was amazing and I couldn't wait to see him live. But his first tour sold out in a matter of minutes and his second tour sold out even faster it seems. Then KROQ announced another show and I snatched up tickets. Sure Ticketmaster upcharged the hell out of me and I still despise them for it, but at least I'm going to the show!

Last up: Electiontime
It's been a long long race to the White House and I am praying that Barack Obama gets voted in. He's been my pick since the start and I know he'll do great things for the country. He may not be that experienced, but we need a calm cool head to lead the country out of this mess created by the Bush administration. If Sarah Palin and her old man make it into the White House, I'll join Tina Fey on the first rocket off this planet.


Stayin' coo babeh!

Ricky