Friday, August 06, 2004


I'm not sure if my poem above is understandable or not.

What is it about, you ask?

Just the other day I got news that someone in my family had a mild heart attack. To be fair, it's not someone in my immediate family, but it still got me thinking. When I was a kid, my parents didn't necessarily want me, nor my brothers, to panic about things concerning health and death and all that stuff; all that grim stuff. I don't know if it was just because I was the youngest, but I wasn't told about these things. And who could blame them? Parents want to keep their children oblivious to matters that they don't need to worry about until they're older.

I remember when I was around 6 or 7 and I overheard my parents talking about how my grandfather had big ears and that having big ears meant that you'd live a long life. So I jumped in and asked "Are my ears big?" I think their eyes must have blinked at each other when they scrambled to tell me that I had very big ears. It reassured me when I was younger, but as I grew older, I realized that my ears aren't big at all (unless you guys see something I don't). In fact, my ears are actually pretty small!

I have other examples, but I don't want to get into them. But I just want to say that recently, because of some happenings, my parents have dropped bombshells that there are histories of heart problems and cancer within my family line and that just seemed very shocking to me. It's a bit cliché, but people really do go around living life saying "That'll never happen to me," and it's really terrifying when you have that sudden realization that yes, yes it can happen and there's a good chance it will. It's a bursting of that protective bubble. I guess the logic is that as we grow older, we'll become better abled to handle such news. As kids, we're just so highly susceptible to everything. I just think it sucks to have to hear that at all, but we can't choose our families.

None of us are perfect and none of our lives are stable. Tomorrow you might wake up with a weird lump on your skin, or erratic heart beats, or your parents might no longer want to be married to each other.

I'm not quite sure if what I'm saying is obvious or even if it's that significant, but I guess I'm just saying this for others to not take things for granted. None of us are as perfect as we're brought up to think we are. Life's short. Live big.

Making no sense,