Friday, March 24, 2006

Help Me to Help You

It's been a while since I've read a book. I think the last one was that disappointing Series of Unfortunate Events book (unless the instruction manual for Metroid Prime Hunters counts). But after listening to this comedian/writer on the Jamie, Jack, and Stench radio show make hilarious jokes about people's problems when he was supposed to play therapist, I had to hear more from this guy. So I bought his book, Spilled Gravy: Advice on Love, Life, and Acceptance from a Man Uniquely Unqualified to Give It by Ed Driscoll.

I started reading the book and found that it's a bit embarrassing reading in public; namely because of the title "...Advice on Love, Life, and Acceptance" and the classification on the back proclaiming that it's a "self-help" book. I'm not reading the book for self improvement at all; it's strictly for some stories to make me laugh. But if I were to leave the book with some nice lessons and advice on life, then that's a great little bonus! Well anyway, the book is, as expected, pretty funny. I'm into the third chapter and the book reads like a blog. So far, he's talking mostly about how he quit school to pursue his dream of being a comedian. His writing is very sarcastic as he's always got something smart-allecky to say about anything, which makes me laugh. Who knows, maybe one day, I'll consolidate all my blogs into book form and charge y'all $15 to read it. Though, I've got no advice to give whatsoever, except that you should never participate in a Triple Shit and that holding in farts tones your abs.

And for those of you cunning enough to catch my game drop (ha, that's a play on the phrase "name drop") above, yes, I have some new video games. Who knew that I would be obsessed with video games again at this age. Maybe it's a form of mid-twenties crisis. A few years ago, I was into the Playstation 2, but was never really into it. I was a big Metal Gear Solid and Kingdom Hearts fan, but nothing more. I think our Playstation 2 is used more as a DVD player than anything. Anyway, I sort of left Nintendo behind. But with the Nintendo DS, I've rediscovered my Nintendo fanboyism and am trying to catch up on great things I had missed. Well, I am now hooked on the Metroid Prime series. The DS Metroid game is furiously fun during multiplayer blast-fests. And I rediscovered Tetris with Tetris DS. There are some new game modes that are as addicting as the classic mode. I also got Metal Gear Solid: Subsistence (which is basically Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater with multiplayer action). Maybe I'll play that someday. And next week, we'll be getting Kingdom Hearts 2, which I don't get to play first. Timotei gets first dibs this time.

One last thing I wanted to just quickly update y'all on is that I did get my bonus and it's not as much as I had hoped. But they factored in that I didn't work the entire year last year. Well it's still a pretty penny and it's better than no bonus at all, so I'm happy. Perhaps I'll buy my digital camcorder with it. What I should be doing is putting it into savings for the house I'm looking into buying. Eep.

Trying to get into this March Madness mayhem,


Sunday, March 19, 2006


Yesterday, I wrote a big song and dance about two points. It was a very funny entry that I was very happy with... only when I posted it, it posted under the same day as my previous blog entry and I didn't like that.

So, I deleted it and saved it in my Clipboard widget for easy posting today. Only, as I went to retrieve it just now, I accidentally hit the wrong button and erased it all.

So though it pains me to lose such a clever post, I'm not about to retype it word for word. The two points were:

1) I had nicknamed Ellvin Kelvin's girlfriend last June "Faith." It was a Passions soap opera thing. Then I unknowingly renamed her "Harmony," also a Passions thing. But K-mart gave me an awesome suggestion: "Amazing Grace." Even though it uses her real name in there, it's perfect because 1a) she is pretty amazing (aw shucks!) and 2a) she enjoys the show Amazing Race.

2) We're fixing up our backyard so we can get a dog. Lee Leman told us we should adopt instead of getting our dream dog: Siberian Husky. So we'll adopt with the help of Samantha Wu.



Saturday, March 18, 2006

Sick of Sick

Cripes man, I guess this is some sort of bad karma or something because earlier this week I finally kicked my two week cold or whatever and passed it over to Timotei. And on Thursday, he passed it right back over to me. THAT'S NOT HOW THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO WORK!!!

What happened to my immune system? That's it, you guys are fired. Thanks for the shoddy work, you damn lazy asses. Well I'm back to the running nose and the coughing and the sniffling and the clogged ears, but fortunately no headaches. I guess I just need to sleep it off this entire weekend. God I hate wasting a weekend for the betterment of my health. Ah, who am I kidding. I would have wasted it anyway.

But since I'm awake from sleeping four hours already, I might as well tell you some stuff:

- I'm getting my bonus soon at work. Others have received theirs, so I'm anticipating word on the extra moola on Monday.

- Ellvin Kelvin bought Timotei and I tickets for The Wedding Singer musical in New York! I've been brushing up by listening to my Stephen Lynch albums. Hilarious.

- Next week (or even Tuesday alone) is a HUGE week because I get to buy Metroid Prime: Hunters, Tetris DS, and Batman Beyond: Season One. Freakin' sweet. I can't wait.

- The ants invaded my bathtub/shower earlier this week. The bathtub has been the cleanest it's been in years so I don't know what the hell they expected to find. I saw one of their scouts on my bathroom counter the other day and smashed it without hesitation, but it turns out I just severely injured it and left it twitching. I actually felt really guilty and saddened by this so I gave it an extra mercy smash. The ants are pretty smart though. The day before the rains hit today (I guess I could have just said "yesterday"), the ants up and went. Somehow the animals are always the first to know.

- Happy Saint Patrick's Day! If it weren't already the day after St. Patty's Day, I would reach through this monitor and pinch you sons of bitches.

Okay, I think that's enough delusional ranting today. I need to get back to sleep.

Wetting bed or getting better (that makes no sense),


Friday, March 10, 2006


Heather help me! My recent illness turned out to be a freakin' two week bug! At first, it seemed like I was kicking it after the initial night... but I guess eating Go-gurts and other dairy products weren't good for the mucus production and I continued to hack up the stuff days and restless nights later. I don't think I've had it this bad in a while. It seems to be going away now. But it's kinda sad. Coincidentally, everyone in my office (and my brother) is getting sick. I swear I had nothing to do with it!

Elsewheres in this life of mine, my ant friends are back! They've followed their old path to my bathroom in an attempt to collect more underwear particles and toilet water. Natch, I'm pissed that they're back. Can't they just leave me the frick alone? Anyway, I'm on a "no mercy" policy for these pests. I take the heaviest plastic bottle within arms reach and pound them into the counter. Don't worry though; I make it fast and painless. This coming from someone who has never been smashed to death... or have I? Hmmmm.

Having a smashing time,


Sunday, March 05, 2006

Up & Go

And just like that, Ellvin Kelvin and Harmony (I think that's what I called his girlfriend and if not, I'm dubbing her Harmony now) are outta here! They got in on Tuesday night, did nothing on Wednesday (we had CURRY HOUSE), went to Disneyland on Thursday (thanks to Erico Suave), did nothing on Friday, some family stuff on Saturday, and gone early this morning. Harmony's got some family and friends up north scattered down the 5 freeway, so it'll be a fun roadtrip to be had by all.

I'm sure they had some sort of fun here in rainy-at-the-time California (sure, when they leave it gets stereotypically bright and sunny), but now it's our turn to venture eastward and have fun in the Big Apple. Just two more months away! Lard knows that I need a vacation.

Last week I bought the RENT movie on DVD. I gotta say that the two times I watched it in theaters, I wasn't bowled over by it. Things struck me as lazy or totally mistranslated. But I've found myself more forgiving watching it on DVD and now I just about love it. I still think the pacing is too slow, but at least I know how long those moments are and what comes next. Anyway, however, I still hate where "Goodbye Love" ends and how it jumps right into "What You Own." The DVD includes the missing song parts as deleted scenes, so I spent much time last week editing those scenes back into the movie using Apple's iMovie software. It was very easy and very impressive if I may say so myself. There was also an alternate ending that I edited into the movie and I extracted the song played over the end credits and added in "Love Heals" which was what I thought should have been there in the first place. So basically, it's my ultimate cut, though not entirely. Maybe I'll make some more trims and cuts in the future to make the pacing more to my liking. Bottom line, movie editing is damn fun. I'm definitely getting a DV camcorder now.

Today, we're going to catch the matinee showing of K-mart's play, whose name escapes me at the moment. Something about something something. I'll report back, knowing me, next week; or really knowing me, next next week.

Getting back into directing,