Wednesday, February 25, 2009


I wanted to post something, but there's nothing to talk about. I guess I could break to you how much I am in need of a vacation! You see, at work, I've been made head of the international front for my division. It's not really a promotion or anything; I had always been sort of the point person for the international stuff, but now it's just official. So no pay raise or anything; just more responsibilities, work, and stress. All of which do not help pass time quickly when counting down to Orlando 2009!

Have I mentioned Orlando 2009? Typically a trip out to Florida would be called simply Walt Disney World (insert year). But this year we're doing more than just Walt Disney World. No ma'am! We're also doing Universal Studios Orlando!!! That means Islands of Adventure baby! That means Men in Black The Ride! That means 10 years of wanting to ride Spiderman--- finally fulfilled FTW!

But this trip isn't just introducing one new aspect to the tired old formula. No siree! We're also adding Typhoon Lagoon (water park) to the itinerary! And to sweeten the already sickeningly saccharine sweet plan, we're also miniature golfing and very possibly motor boat cruising! There are just too many things to do with such precious little time.

This is the mother of all trips. And to have my two bestest friends in the entire world with me... I'm just the happiest luckiest person in the world.

Oh, by the way, the trip is in late April.

Arguing the validity of the word "bestest,"


Friday, February 20, 2009

Line Etiquette

The nerve of some people.

Have you ever shopped in a Burlington Coat Factory? It's like shopping at a Ross after a tornado piles more shit on the inventory already scattered on the floor.

Huge **CLEARANCE** signs drew me to the racks. I thumbed through the supposed Small and Medium racks, through misplaced XXL and XXXL sizes, and found (after all was said and done) one shirt.

It was a yellow Bayside Tigers school spirit shirt for $5. Perfectly odd for the Orlando trip coming in exactly two months time.

So I jumped in the checkout line. The one and only check out lane that was open. Six people stood in front of me and the clerk was painfully slow.

While waiting in line, I overhear two fat gangsta Mexicans behind me holding piles of clothes. One discusses his desire to buy a big bottle of Burberry cologne. The bottle is behind glass.

A lady heads with her paid-for items toward the exit, turns around, and says "There's a register with NO WAIT diagonally from here."

I take the bait and walk to the other check-out counter, but the fat Mexicans cut me off and beat me there.

So let me draw a picture for you. Two fat Mexicans carrying oversized baggy sweaters to purchase. Me, holding one shirt, worth five bucks, ready to pay with cash. Maybe I have too much faith in humanity, but I half expected them to let me go first since I was ready with my money and only had one dinky shirt.

But nope!!! Fat man #1 went first and the clerk was just as slow as the first one. Then the second fatty checks his items out, takes forever, and then has the gall to ask for the bottle of cologne too! She says that he has to get someone to open the glass case and bring it to her so she can scan it. He LEAVES THE LINE and the clerk slowly finishes scanning his other items, bags them, and waits.

It wasn't till I LOUDLY sighed in displeasure that she cleared the fatty's transaction and rang me up. Fucking people.

But all in all, the shirt was worth it. Plus I got to reaffirm my hatred of fat gangstas.

Hearing the Bayside Tigers growl,


Sunday, February 15, 2009


I'm going to go ahead and write this blog, but you probably won't see it until later in the year. Reason? Pyong is threatening me at knifepoint not to make this public.

I'm kidding.

I've got to keep this entry private until I tell my parents about... MY TATTOO!

YES! After so many years of threatening and wanting, I finally said to myself, you know, I'm 27. I will get a tattoo if I want one.

But it's always a matter of what to get. Since maybe the 8th grade, I've had this necklace of my last name in Chinese. The literal translation is "horse." I've been wearing this necklace for perhaps close to a decade now? I just really love the way that it is written. And so, I knew that there was nothing more I wanted on my back than my own last name.

But enough about the selection process. What you really want to know is... did it hurt?

The answer is an unequivocal YES!

After asking Angel Wing Jasmine and various co-workers what it feels like, I never prepared myself for how it actually felt! It really did feel like a scalpel slicing your flesh open. And the shortest line feels like an eternity. I'd say that the outline part was the worst of it though. When he colored in the design, it hurt too, but I don't remember it hurting as much. Maybe it's because my flesh started to get numb. Who knows? But I will stress that it still hurt like a bitch.

I kept my eyes shut and kept trying to rap this one verse from In The Heights, but I couldn't get passed two lines because once he drove the needle into my back, I became like a skipping record. I just couldn't think of anything else but the pain and found myself forgetting the lyrics and thus repeating the same line over and over.

During the tattooing, I said to myself: "This is the one and only tattoo I'm ever getting."

But as I sit here simply loving my new tattoo and thinking how awesome it feels on my back, I'm thinking more may be in the cards. I just need to find the absolute right image. Because not only is it with you for the rest of your life, but it hurts like a mother and so it has to be absolutely worth it.

Becoming a biker babe,


Sunday, February 08, 2009

The Proposal Ten Months in the Making

I guess I've made you wait long enough to hear the details of Ellvin Kelvin's perfect proposal. But first, one must understand the lengths he went through to pop this question.

The first we heard about Ellvin Kelvin wanting to propose was months before our Alaskan cruise. He thought it would be incredibly special if he proposed on the ship. Originally we had planned to include Amazing Grace's parents on the cruise, but she had just started a new job and couldn't take the time off.

Ellvin Kelvin was looking for some clever ideas for a memorable proposal. He had asked us about putting the engagement ring inside a golfball because she collects golfballs. So Father Routes and I set out to find a golfball to carve open. Unfortunately, golfballs contain toxic materials inside to help them fly farther. But, on a trip to Big 5 to buy binoculars for the trip, out of nowhere we found a golfball shaped keychain that held lip balm. The ball screwed off to reveal the chapped-lip relief. It was perfect.

Mother Routes scooped out all the lip balm (and saved it in a zip-lock bag of course) and inserted a ring holder and set the ring inside. It was so perfect it was awesome. Then, on the cruise ship, we gave the ball to Ellvin Kelvin.

But alas, it was not-to-be. Ellvin Kelvin did not feel right with all of our family there and none of Amazing Grace's present. After that, time passed with still no proposal.

Then, after I learned that he and Amazing Grace were coming to California for vacation, I proposed two proposal ideas to him, each involving the golfball. The first was to pop the question while riding Soarin' Over California at Disney's California Adventure. During the scene where you fly over Palm Springs, a golfer drives a golfball directly at the riders. I told Ellvin Kelvin to mimic catching the golfball, opening it during the sunset beach scene and asking her for her hand, and then if all went according to plan, she would have said yes during the fireworks sequence. It was corny, but I thought memorable.

The second idea was too stupid to document on this blog. Something about proposing on the ski slopes on a double diamond course. Diamond... get it? Nevermind.

Well, Ellvin Kelvin almost used my idea on Soarin' Over California, but the moment didn't feel right. There were too many people and it was way too loud. So he just looked over at me and shook his head. There would be another time, but would it be soon?

Yes it would. Two days later, Ellvin Kelvin and Amazing Grace went hiking on Mt. Baldy. During the hike, Ellvin Kelvin dropped the golfball in the snow and pointed it out to Amazing Grace. She noticed that it held something inside and immediately began unscrewing it as Ellvin Kelvin dropped to his knee. The rest is history.

So we're in overdrive trying to figure out weeding details. It's on the fasttrack for this Fall, so it's very hectic right now. But everyone is very happy to have Amazing Grace join our family!

Wedding - noun. The process of removing weeds from one's garden.