Sunday, August 31, 2003

Checklist Before the Big (Long) Day

Good evening folks. I am reporting LIVE from my cousin's house, bored out of my mind on a very uneventful Labor Day weekend. Plus it's hot as a hen laying a Playboy centerfold from her pooper. Yes folks... it's THAT hot!

Throughout this past week, I've mentally noted things that I wanted to share with my stalking public (all 2 of you readers), but if you know me... I've got a really bad short term memory. Things go in and out of my head faster than a Playboy centerfold-- nevermind.

But yeah, so I'm really not sure what I've been doing this past week. However, I will try and reiterate as best as possible.

The best thing that happened since Wednesday was my visit from Angel Wing Jasmine. She came down from Riverside and presented me with some birthday regalos. Very nice ones too. She got me some rollerblading gear for when I turn pro (uh...). She got me a SixSixOne helmet that looks really big on me, but that might just be me. But then again, Timotei commented on how big it looks too. And this is shocking because my head is enormous. Well, not really enormous... more gigantic.

She also gave me some kneepads and wrist guards that I've been wanting. So cool and just in time too. Well, maybe just a little late. The week before that, I tried to blade backwards and ended up landing smack dab on my arse and my palms got the brunt of the fall also. So, those wrist guards are going to be saving my hands in the future...

These are really great gifts too because here's my philosophy on gift-giving. The perfect gift is something that someone wants, but would never get. For example, one year I wanted to replace my James and the Giant Peach video because it got all worn and destroyed, but what would I do with two copies if I had purchased it myself. I would never really go to the store and buy another copy knowing that I have another copy at home (that still worked somewhat). So, that birthday, Erico Suave gave me the new J&tGP Special Edition VHS. That's a good gift.

In this case, I needed a helmet and pads, but would never buy it because I just wouldn't justify the cost of those when I can just go out without gear. That's why they're good gifts.

She also got me an awesome pair of board shorts and a hooded sweatshirt from No Fear. They're great and I can't wait till it gets cold out so I can wear the sweatshirt. It has the No Fear logo on the front and down the left arm, it says "Pure MX Technology." Well, I haven't ridden a dirt bike yet, but I sure know the names of some famous riders and their trick names... Heh.

Tonight (or tomorrow morning) at midnight starts the 24 marathon! 24 action packed Jack Bauer Power hours. So don't bother me on Monday (especially around Hours 6 and 15 when Kim has some running time) or I'll have to do that Bauer-run-up-the-wall-spin-crack-your-neck move on you. I think I have everything taken care of on my checklist to survive the 24 hour marathon:

1. Pillow
2. Munchies
3. Bedsore Ointment
4. Coffee
5. Tissues (for See Above)
6. Excedrin

Yup. All set. Now you guys run along and have a safe whatever-this-holiday-is. And for those of you starting school on Tuesday...


Looking for that Playboy centerfold,



Wednesday, August 27, 2003

All New Look, Twice the Nonsense

Me Tired. Sleep.

I changed the look of the blogger recently because I was tired of the orange. I'll probably be fumbling with the settings more throughout the next-- however long until I'm happy with the overall look.

A lot has happened since my last entry, but oddly enough, it's all a blank.

Oh yeah. On my birthday, instead of going out to a restaurant with family, I opted to buy an ice cream cake and share it with the entire family, cousins and all (whoever was there).

Erico Suave treated for lunch yesterday for my birthday and got me a Futurama poster that I've been eyeing for a while. Finally, I can check my favorite cartoon off my list of "most needed posters." I also bought the GameCube game "Batman: Dark Tomorrow" for a whopping $15. And, I never really believed it before, but... You Get What You Pay For.

The game sucks. The story and music is kinda cool, but the gameplay is like plucking nosehairs, it's so awful.

And in other news, one of my favorite shows While You Were Out started its second season, but the original host (Teresa Strasser) quit because she was tired of being on the road. They replaced her with some crappy young guy. He's dull and should never host anything. Anyway, I visited and e-mailed her just basically kissing butt. I thanked her for making WYWO a great show and wished her luck in future endeavors. And to my surprise, she e-mailed me back!

Here's what she said:

Ricky -
It's nice to be missed! Thank you.
teresa strasser

ps - I'll be hosting E! News Daily this Monday at 7pm ...

Awwww, so sweet.

Okay, enough of my nerdom. See you in a week or when I get bored.

Rushed so I can hit the hay,



Friday, August 22, 2003

A Very Merry 22nd Birthday to Me... to Who... to Me... oh Me

Yes sir.

Tis my 22nd birthday and I don't feel anything. Should I be? I mean, there's nothing really special about #22 (except that it's one of my favorite numbers).

Well I'm in the process of writing a book. But this time, I'm dead committed. Without anything to do besides find a desk job, I've got nothing to do during the day. I suppose I can finish (or possibly rewrite) Orion's Heart, but I reached a total block in that story... While making the story more lush with tons of background information, I dug myself in a hole and don't know how to resolve it. Then I shelved it and the flow of the story left. I suddenly forgot some important plot points that I wanted to add. This is why you shouldn't try and handle several story tasks at once. At the same time, I was writing my trilogy Book of Shadows. I had the first two parts written and outlined an explosive third finale that would toss in a lot of twists and answer some questions raised in the previous installments. But, I put it on hold and now I've forgotten what I wanted to write. I have the outline somewhere, but I'm stuck in that story also. Maybe I'll just write that... who knows.

So, really no plans for the day. It's hot and I'm tired and lazy and...

You know how hard it is to think up a story???

Almost over the hill,



Tuesday, August 19, 2003

Maybe I Need a Remembrall

Monday night (Tuesday morning) and I find myself unable to hit the hay just yet.

As I was rereading some of my more recent entries, I realized... HEY! I never talked about El Torito Grill!

So, here goes:

Last Thursday, Angel Wing Jasmine and I decided to check out the El Torito Grill that rests on top of a hill overlooking the 57 freeway (exit Lambert, turn left and up the business district). We were curious to see how it differed from plain ol' El Torito, so I decided to treat.

The place sucks.

Well, if you had a choice to go to El Torito or El Torito Grill, choose the former because basically, it's a nicer place to dine and it's got better food and selection. First of all, you don't get delicous chips and salsa at the "Grill." Instead, they give you flour tortillas with salsa, chipotle, and some butter lump. That's fine and all, but I'd rather have fresh chips. Angel Wing Jasmine got the Romaine salad which was a giant block of lettuce chopped up in front of her. I got the ribs, which were good, but didn't look good. It looked like something out of the Flintstones or straight out of a sick pig's corpse. Overall, the experience was mediocre and I wouldn't want to go back.

And by the way, after El Torito, we went to Disneyland (big surprise) and we saw Patty McCakes once again! I asked her if she got her compliments, but she hadn't yet, and she offered us "great" seating again! Too awesome. We gracefully accepted and the show was just as great as always. Thanks again Patty! We left another compliment for you. You're the best.

Okay, very good. Now, about today...

Today I hung out with Erico Suave, whom nowadays I find myself hanging with once every two or three weeks. It's just that he's always busy with work and I'm, well, at home doing jack sh - -. So Erico Suave called me up yesterday and asks if we could hang out today and I cleared my schedule of nothingness and said "yes."

Usually when we hang out, there really is no set plan. We just take things as they come. So at around 2:30pm, he drove up in his silver VW beetle and we headed off somewhere talking. We ended up going to a new TJ Maxx and Staples.

TJ Maxx was pretty much a bust, but the place was banging. We found some huge XXXL Looney Tunes shirts and... I'm sorry. If you're so big that you need an XXXL shirt, you shouldn't be wearing Daffy Duck on your pocket. What you should be doing is marching your butt to a surgeon for gastrointestinal surgery. In fact, how did you even get out of your bed, let alone your house?

Next we went to Staples and I was determined to buy something to break my last graduation bill. *sob* So we went through the store and laughed about some products (in our old fashioned classic way). Man, I hadn't smelled Elmer's glue since the 4th grade, so I just had to stick my finger in that goop and paste up my hand. I was peeling that sucker for hours! After about half an hour or so, I settled on buying some BIC pens (low cost manufacturer) called "Atlantis" and a set of new metallic Sharpies. I needed the Sharpies to write on some black tapes I have. Plus, I'm obsessed with buying gimmicky pens, if you didn't know already.

After that unneeded shopping, I treated us to Millies! This place was very small, but really charming. We got a cute waitress named Marisa and their menu is fairly large (compared to Denny's crappy, yet tried-and-true menu). I got the popcorn shrimp meal with a vanilla shake while Erico Suave had the chicken dinner. The food was really good. Erico Suave and I had a great time catching up, talking about anything and everything.

After that, we went to see Freaky Friday. I had heard really good things about the movie, so I really wanted to check it out, but no one wanted to see it. I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed Freaky Friday to death. I was surprised at how funny and charming it is. Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis do a phenomenal job at portraying each other. It's amazing how convincing they are. You immediately accept that they've jumped into each others' bodies. There were many many moments when I couldn't stop smiling or laughing because it's just irresistible. Great great movie. I don't think I've enjoyed a movie this much this year.

Then... after that, we went to Best Buy to see if I could find the new Futurama video game. They didn't have it. But I did buy Downhill Domination instead. It's your basic Jet Moto type game, but one a bike with lots of paths down a rocky mountain. It's pretty fun, but I'm already at a stand still. Stupid hard computer.

Okay, well I think I'll be hanging out very briefly with Erico Suave tomorrow also because Chicago comes out on DVD and we're gonna go to Best Buy so that he can buy it. Maybe I'll find Futurama tomorrow!

Washing the bad taste of the X Games Los Angeles out of my mouth in 3 days!

Riding the walrus,



Sunday, August 17, 2003

Not Xactly What I Xpected

I'm back from X Games IX Los Angeles and I must say, I'm a bit disappointed in the experience.

Grab a soda because this is a long story with many gripes...

The day started when Angel Wing Jasmine picked me up at 3pm. The doors to the LA Coliseum opened at 3:00, but the Moto X athletes were only practicing till 7pm, so we took our time getting there.

When we got off the freeway, we stayed behind a big blue truck with Fox Racing and FMF stickers on the back. Obviously, this person was going to the X Games also, so we thought it best to just follow him. Low and behold, the truck pulled into the Coliseum parking area, but he soon realized he personally was going the wrong way. So, the guy busts a U-turn in a small road and Angel Wing Jasmine has to stay put so that he can back up and go the other way. While he was turning around, he stuck out his arm to thank us for letting him go, and I noticed that it was Zack Morris from Saved by the Bell! At first, we weren't so sure, but later on we found out that Mark Paul Gosseler was a guest announcer for the night.

Anyway, on, I read that Coliseum parking was $15. FIFTEEN F-ing dollars!!! Sure, the admission price is only $5, but they get you good with parking fees. Well, lucky for us, parking was only $10 (whatever), but the parking was a piece of crap. We were directed to park on the grassy lawn between the Coliseum and the Natural History Museum (Man I wish we went to the Natural History Museum...). The parking layout must have been designed by the most retarded person in the world. I swear, I bet Simon Cowell drew the layout because we had very little room between cars and some aisles had freakin' trees in them... so basically, if you wanted to leave, but there was a tree in your lane, you were stuck.

Anyway, we bought our tickets quickly and then got searched with metal detectors and went into the Coliseum. They had refreshment stations set up (one oddly named "Fresh Mexican Juices" if you catch my drift...), but Angel Wing Jasmine and I bypassed those and went straight up the stairs to find a seat.

The side we were on was jam packed, yet the other side had sparse crowds, so naturally we decided to head towards the other side of the stadium. No luck. We were blocked and prevented from going there. We thought it was for families of the athletes or something, but it wasn't! People started filling those seats later on in the day! I don't know what the hell that worker's problem was.

So, back up the stairs it was and we decided to head down towards the field to find just two seats for us to occupy. No luck. Stupid people were saving, apparently, EVERY FREAKIN SEAT. Retards. All of them. Frankly, I think they were all racist white bastards who didn't want to share their "zone" with an indian dirt bike rider and a chinese kung fu master. So we went upwards and found a spot in the middle of the row and got comfortable. After all, it was going to be a 5 hour sit. But where we were, you could see everything. And I think our seats were better than the ground level seats. So the joke was on those seat hogs... who ironically, were as big as hogs.

Well while we waited baking in the hot sun, Angel Wing Jasmine and I talked and talked and got thirsty as hell. But, being equal distance from the aisles and closed in by so many people, it wasn't exactly easy to go get a drink. Also, the people in front of us went to go get hotdogs and drinks and didn't come back for a good hour. So we decided to wait it out... the WHOLE FIVE HOURS! Vendors came around the aisles with snow cones, but we weren't close enough to buy one. Also, some people next to us ate some snow cones and their mouths and teeth got all F-ed up.

Now, about the annoying X Games crowd. Did I mention everyone was white? Big shocker huh? Well, everybody looked exactly the same. All the guys wore caps with the bill to the side, a Famous Stars and Straps shirt, and sunglasses. And all the Moto Hoes were blonde and wore sunglasses and a Famous Stars and Straps shirt. Goal darn annoying.

The people in front of us looked like a nice white family, but there's always a dirty secret. When one of the guys took off his shirt, we saw that he had a big ol' swastica tattooed on his stomach and another one on his back. What the bloody f- - - ??? So that made for a scary encounter.

A man behind us kept cheering every single little trick that the athletes performed, as if he was trying to play "Super Hotshot Dad" with his kids. He would comment on every trick with a "WHOOHOE!" or "YIKES," even if the trick wasn't that good. THROUGH OUT THE WHOLE SHOW!!! And then he had the nerve to say "Loser!" after Myles Richmond finished his finals run (because he didn't do the crowd favorite cheater backflip). Like this fat guy could do any better.

There was also a kid with ADHD somewhere behind us who kept spouting out such retarded phrases as "HURRY UP! TELL THEM TO HURRY UP!" and "I LIKE BEANS." Shuttttttt upppp your child!!! Jebus.

During the break between prelims and finals, cops were called in to break up some fighting that occurred in the ground level section. After a while, people started throwing water bottles and other garbage at the cops. Some woman yelled something like "God, stupid cops!" But Angel Wing Jasmine had a point... This lady complains about the cops, but what are the cops there for? To protect us all. If she's getting attacked or robbed, who is she going to call? THE FREAKIN COPS!!! So stop complaining you dumb ungrateful idiot!

I swear, people these days.

Well, the Freestyle itself was okay. They did all the normal tricks we've seen at Disney's California Adventure's X Games Xperience. Nate Adams did a heel click back flip that I had never seen. Also, Brian Deegan (whom I definitely wasn't rooting for) and Travis Pastrana did a new trick: The 360 backflip. It wasn't that impressive, but it was cool because it was new.

We didn't stay for the awarding of medals because we didn't care much. We were parched and dehydrated and had to piss, so we boned out. Apparently so did everyone else. We were quick to the truck, but everyone decided that to exit, they'll just come from every which way and cut everyone off. The whole thing was a mess and completely unorganized. LA SUCKS AT HOSTING ANYTHING!!!

Finally we got on the road and stopped at a McDonald's to replenish our bodies. Angel Wing Jasmine, on a weird thirst binge, got a small orange soda, a small lemonade, and a large coke. We also got ice cream. Then we went to Denny's, ate, and went home.

So that's my story. The X Games was okay, but I don't think I'd do it again. I'd rather watch the DCA X Games Xperience 30,000 times. At least that was free and you get to get autographs.

So now, I'm sunburned, rehydrated, but incredibly tired. Thus, I shall get to sleep.

Xtra Xhausted from the Xlong Xday,



Wednesday, August 13, 2003

The Cure for my Summer Boredom Blues

Nothing interesting has happened in the past few days, though I can tell you what I've purchased at my local Best Buy.

I bought Mario Golf for Gamecube because I enjoyed the hell out of that N64 version. The game is really fun, but also challenging. I guess that's a good thing, but who knows.

Yesterday I bought the Futurama Volume 2 DVD. The commentary on every episode is very interesting, informative, and often times hilarious. It feels like I'm watching the show with the producers, writers, and voice actors next to me. I especially love hearing them crack up at the show's jokes. I still got 4 more episodes to watch before I throw it on the shelf.

And K-Mart, bring back my Volume 1 DVD! You've had it for like a month and a half!

At this moment, I'm watching this retarded slasher spoof "Shriek if You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th." It's so badly written that I haven't laughed once. They're lucky nothing else is on TV.

Tomorrow brings a fun filled day with Angel Wing Jasmine. She's come back from up north to rescue me. Right now, the plans are as follows:

- Eat lunch at El Torito Grill
- Rollerblading somewhere
- Thinking of what else to do

So until then thank you and good night.

X Games Los Angeles in 3 days!

Shrieking because I'm watching a crappy poor excuse for a horror movie parody,



Saturday, August 09, 2003

A Morning in Old Town

How long must each of these updates be anyway? Is anyone reading this???

Lee Leman, Timotei, and I went down to Old Town Pasadena today to get a 30% off "Friends and Family" discount at The Gap.

Normally, I hate The Gap. Actually, I still do because they have absolutely no interesting clothes. There was once a time when The Gap had tons of sales items I wanted, skater clothes and junk. But nowadays, they have three colors... white, blue, and pink. Boring, boring, and boring. Well I suppose they have denim stuff, but I'm not into that crap.

So, having the POWER in my hands, I went on a search for something, anything to buy. I found two things. One is a shirt with the number "18" on it. Very plain, very Gap, but it fit well. The second item was a pair of carpenter shorts, khaki color (off the sales rack). Each item would, after discount, hover around the $10 zone, which was reasonable... so I bought them.

And as if shopping at The Gap wasn't bad enough, they gave me lousy lousy service too! Four people stood behind the register counter. The store had been open for only 1 hour, so NO ONE was in line. I walked up to the "form a line" sign and was immediately asked "Are you ready?" The girl at the end (who probably drew the short stick...) cleared the counter in front of her and rung me up. I presented my discount card and she acknowledged it. She rang up my items, but forgot to take the discount, so she had to start again. Then her co-workers started talking to her and she would gossip back and laugh and laugh. Meanwhile, I stood there just smiling. Then the phone rang and she raced to pick it up before her co-workers could, and she laughed in triumph when she did... the bitch was getting on my nerves (pardon my language). Anyway, after about 3 minutes, she finally rang my items up and I paid with a $100 bill because that's all I had. You wouldn't believe how long it took her to get my change! She almost gave me $75 in all fives too!!!

Finally, she was done, I walked up and said to Timotei, "Could they take any longer?" as a manager headed up the stairs with us. I hate The Gap and this experience did nothing to remedy that... but hey; they gave us free CostCo muffins and Tampico orange juice for what it's worth.

Well, I had a better experience at Urban Outfitters. Mainly because I found some good sleeveless undershirts that were marked down to $4.99 with an extra 50% off. $2.50 for a shirt! Such a kick butt deal.

And I also bought a smoothie.

So the grand total for the day was $33.59. Not bad by my standards.

X Games Los Angeles in 7 days!

Penny pinching and Gap bitching,



Thursday, August 07, 2003

Vindication & a Skunk

Excitement hits the Routes Residence on an otherwise quiet and listless Thursday night.

Things have been pretty dull. I suppose I should start my job search, but I don't think Jamba Juice is hiring just yet...

Today's real fun started at 7pm when I dialed into the Jury hotline only to find out that I have "completed" my jury service since they failed to call my group number. It must have something to do with summertime or something. Because it's too hot to do a crime, there are less trials around August. Well that's my theory anyway and I'm sticking to it.

Then, at around 11:20pm, we had a skunk stop by the side of our house and spray the whole lot with his butt. Lucky for us we have plenty of matches.

Well I'm tired, so, so goes another day.

X Games Los Angeles in 9 days!

Lighting farts on skunks just to see how they like it,



Tuesday, August 05, 2003

Mind Slip

Wow, this blogger thing kinda just slipped my mind. I've been so busy lately, I guess I just plum forgot.

Anyway, Saturday was the big party for Ellvin Kelvin's going away. It was pretty fun, but Ellvin Kelvin wasn't present 40% of the time. Good food. Good friends. Good times.

Then on Sunday we went to my mom's aunt's birthday party. That was pretty cool too. They had fresh fried fish with sweet and sour sauce and bok choy and other stuff.

Then on Monday Timotei, K-Mart, S-Dawg, R-Man, Agent J, Lindz, Cat, Missy Elliott Girl, Rionheart, and I went to Disneyland. The mission was to get the last two autographs from the Moto X X Games Xperience. We got that and then spent the rest of the day at the parks. We did a lot of stuff. We rode Screamin', Maliboomer, Grizzly River Run, Tuck and Rolls, Pirates, Mansion, Pooh, and Big Thunder Mountain.

I ran into my dear dear friend from Fantasyland Patty McCakes (14th picture down) and she hooked all of us up with "great" seating for Fantasmic! That was incredibly cool. They were great seats with a great view. We went over to City Hall at the end of the night to leave her compliments. Thanks again Patty!

And one last thing. I'm still on call for jury duty, so pray for me.

Okay, there we go. You're all caught up. Tomorrow, Freaky Friday opens and I've been reading a ton of good reviews, so I'll probably figure something out.

X Games Los Angeles in 11 days!

Rushing through these life updates,



Friday, August 01, 2003

We're an Absolutely Normal Thing

For someone who doesn't weigh much at all, I sure haven't been eating much lately. There's never anything to eat in this house, so when I went to Samarai House for some grub today, imagine my delight. But alas, with delight came disappointment.

Samarai House (Puente Hills Mall) changed their teriyaki chicken. Instead of a clean chicken breast sitting under a heat lamp and then chopped up finely and covered in great teriyaki sauce, we now have a clumpy piece of chicken bathing in teriyaki sauce which isn't that great. Well, I was disappointed. I always felt that they had the best teriyaki (much better than overrated Tokyo Lobby). Now I guess I'll have to get my teriyaki fix from Japan.

Anyway, I was at the mall because Timotei and I wanted to watch American Wedding. The movie overall was really good. I am really pleased at the way they ended the trilogy and I have always loved the movies for their mix of slapstick humor, heart, and boobs. Some minor complaints: the movie's soundtrack was horrible (all the audio sounds far away or muffled) and the editing was very choppy (scenes would just end and cut right to another scene. It felt very messy).

But no one goes to American Pie movies for the editing, right?

Going to boom boom with the bride's maids,