Sunday, December 28, 2003

Nine Hundred Ninety-Nine Styrofoam Starbursts in the Box... Nine Hundred Ninety-Nine Styrofoam Starbursts. You take one out, splatter on some orange paint and glue mix on one side and on the edges, cover it in Flax seeds and put it on the table to dry... Nine Hundred Ninety-Eight Styrofoam Starbursts in the Box...

Ah... I can finally cross "Help Decorate Rose Parade Floats" off my 'to-do before I die' list.

Princess Karlita, MacArthur, Erico Suave, and I went down to Pasadena to help out with the Tower of Terror float for the Rose Parade. When we got there, we were directed to help sort out empty stem vials. It was such a crappy chore and after about 50 vials, we started to not give a sh**.

After that, we asked someone if there was anything else we could do (since we were obligated to stay for at least 4 hours). Since MacArthur and Erico Suave work for Disney and were signed up to work on the Tower float, a lead came out and escorted us into the building...

We then got our first look at the float and it is GINORMOUS! It's extremely huge and very nicely detailed. We were then taken back out and given our task of the day.

She handed us a box of styrofoam sun cut outs and told us to mix orange paint with glue and glob it on. Then we were to cover it in seeds and then set them to dry.

It was such a relief to get away from the vials and we knew exactly what part of the float we were helping out with. Those sunbursts are going to be nailed/glued to the cross support beams of the model of California Screamin' at the bottom of the float.

Well, it was fun for about the first 3 minutes. Then we realized we had a billion left to do and that it would take forever. After a while, Princess Karlita and I developed an assembly line system where I would paint and glue and she would seed. This worked great.

It took us about 3 hours to finish the box, but we did them all. Many of them need touch ups because the seeds weren't sticking to the glue, but when we finished that last star, we were out of there like hell. We had only worked for 3 hours and 22 minutes.

On our way out, we were handed a dated pin that says "Tower of Terror 2004 Rose Parade" which basically makes it all worth it.

After the free labor, we went to Lucille's to eat barbeque. I had the Fried Chicken. What ever happened to regular fried chicken (like drumsticks and a chicken breast and wings)??? This is the second time I've ordered fried chicken and it's come drizzled in gravy and as a chicken steak if you will... still good, mind you, but different. I like old fashioned mumbo jumbo.

Then we hung out and digested our dinners while watching some episodes of Coupling (the UK [or funny] version).

Then we went to watch the new Peter Pan film which was really good! Surprisingly... It was the same story with a bit more substance. There are more details and a huge infusion of sexual tension between Peter and Wendy which complicated things for the better. There was also a really great looking pixie ballroom dance. In fact, the whole movie looked great. Awesome visuals!

Touching up a nice shiner I just put on a stupid mom and her helpless little daughter,



Wednesday, December 24, 2003

'Twas the Day Before Christmas and I've Got a Murph

Well... since there really isn't much going on (besides Timotei and I beating the Batman: Rise of the Sin Tzu game. Best Batman game ever!), I thought I'd just write about what gifts we bought for everyone.

Enjoy our Christmas list!

Charmin - A bar of soap (Dove)
Lee Leman - A Steve Urkel yo-yo
Samantha Wu - A door mat made from Max's mats
Cousin Spacey - Tic Tacs (8 pack)
K-mart - A hula hoop with sparkles
S-Dawg - A beige Vons bag (plastic)
R-Man - A brown Vons bag (paper)
Agent K - A toothbrush
Agent J - Toothpaste
Lindz - A floppy disk with 3 pictures of grass fiber
Cat - 14 drops of lotion (Jergens)
Missy Elliot Girl (MEG) - A chain link fence
Rionheart - A roll of Canadian chocolate coins
Psyman - Purple
Catwoman - Gift wrap paper (Will have this at the end of Christmas)
Nick Burns - Gift certificate to Vons (Do me a favor and save the plastic or paper bag)
Erico Suave - Nail clippings
Princess Karlita - Nail dirt
MacArthur - Rope burn.
Angel Wing Jasmine - Bottled oil run-off from yours truly (aka Very Oily for Women)

Promoting the season of giving,

Ricky Claus


Sunday, December 21, 2003

Alquilar - Last Minute Extension of my "Dynamite December Daze"

Yesterday, I had to wake up early to help Father Routes at the Los Angeles property. Timotei and I had to unload 100 heavy cinder blocks from the truck and then load on a bunch of scrap wood. It sucked!

However, meanwhile, Samantha Wu and her boyfriend Faux-hawk Ernie and Cousin Spacey were waiting at the Wilshire Theater since 6am for front row tickets to Rent.
Because they were able to buy 2 tickets per person, Samantha Wu called me up and asked if I wanted to go.

I did, but I wasn't sure how I would have time to get there, seeing as the show started at 2pm and I was helping Father Routes till then. But Father Routes, being as cool as he is, helped us finish in time and then dropped me off at Lee Leman's house. Along with Prisoner Tribbiani who is back from New York, we drove to Wilshire Theater where Cousin Spacey was waiting with our tickets. Tickets were only $22! What a deal!

We saw the show, which I actually understood this time, and it was great. Some things that bugged...

1) The guy who played Roger looked like the lead singer from Nickelback and sang kinda weird.
2) The guy who played Mark had a lisp that was bugging the sh** out of me.
3) The whole cast basically had a lisp, so during Seasons of Love, it sounded kinda leaky.

But overall, I really enjoyed it and I knew I loved the music. I want the soundtrack now. I'm tired of this mp3 crap.

So just when you thought my Great December Events were done... think again!

Next is Christmas!!! Lately, I haven't been all that excited for Christmas, but this year... I'm really looking forward to hanging with the family.

P.S. I had a really weird dream yesterday... so weird in fact that I woke up and wrote it down. I'll tell you all about it in my next blog.




Thursday, December 18, 2003


Uh, the computer was so damn slow and I was trying to get it to virus scan, but it was taking 20 minutes to inspect 4 files out of 60k+.

Screw that! I said.

Anyway, so then Timotei comes home, gets on, and turns the computer off. Then waits a while and turns it back on. The computer runs perfectly.

We do several virus scans and found nothing.

See folks, this is why I hate technology. Just a big fat pain in the ass.

...but yeah, it provides entertainment. Blah blah.

Fighting the future,


I'm Totally F***ed

Jebus Cristo!

My computadora has some sort of virus that's making the computer run slow and disabling Norton, so I can't exactly do anything to remedy the problem until Timotei gets back and tells me what to do. Norton gave me the message that something was preventing it from fuctioning correctly and it could be due to a virus or a hacker disabling the anti-virus. GOLLY DARNIT!

Why must this world be so damn difficult?

Someone please come over and drop kick this computer out the window.

Thanks in advance.

Frustrated and diarrhetic,



Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Christmastime for Hitler

After letting it all soak in, I've just determined that The Producers is my favorite production ever!

Overall, I had the best time ever. It was a truly satisfying show. I can't remember the last time I laughed sooooo hard at something so politically incorrect. Okay, well now that I think about it, the last time was during the South Park movie. But, The Producers was so consistantly funny that I had tears during the whole show!

The script is witty and the songs are catchy and clever. Thus is the genius of Mel Brooks. It was just so amazing to see a bunch of old women sing about wanting sex, then do a whole choreographed number with their walkers.

Everything was so absurd and that's why I loved it! It was the perfect satire of the theater industry and yet I don't even know much about theater.

It was no-holds-bar offensive and poked fun at almost everyone. It was comic genius and even had a play-within-a-play (and from what I saw, I would totally watch a full production of "Springtime for Hitler").

I just can't say enough good things... I was smiling throughout the whole show, laughing constantly at the rapid fire jokes, and giggling at the sick/twisted lyrics. In fact, I want to get the soundtrack. Though Rent wins out on having more satisfying music. But The Producers was just incredibly enjoyable.

I could see how Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane would have been better in the main roles and I would love to see the show again if they were in it (hint hint Ellvin Kelvin). Jason Alexander and Martin Short were still good though, but the former actors seemed better fit for the roles.

Well, enough gushing. I loved it!

Earning money for my own musical production... ew...



Sunday, December 14, 2003

Anton and Polina... Rockin' the Nets?


Today was the long awaited trip to see Varekai at the Pomona Fairplex... in Pomona, con Angel Wing Jasmine (pronounced "haus-meeeeeen").

Yeah, you work that accent!

Anyway, it was Angel Wing Jasmine's first Cirque experience live, and only my second.

It was great! AWJ thought it was awesome! There was a lot more interpretive acting in this show than Alegria. The clown acts were funnier (I thought). More on the laughs and less of the artsy fartsy. They also had a ton of air-bound acts. Most of them were up in the air.

One of my favorite acts was a simple juggler. Maybe it was because he popped ping-pong balls in his mouth and launched them around at 50 mph. Or maybe it was because he was so determined to get it even if he messed up 2 or 3 times. Or maybe it was because he was asian and I wished my dad could do that... Whatever the case, it was cool.

After the show, Angel Wing Jasmine bought the DVD of the show (since she was in love with 3 of the acrobatic guys). Then we headed to El Torito.

It was good.

Next we went to Disneyland for the afternoon. We thought the rain would have made everyone go home. Well, it wasn't as crowded as it coulda been, but it was really busy still. We quickly did Mr. Toad's Wild Ride and then went to tell Erico Suave about the Cirque show. Then we rode the train 1 1/2 times and then bought hot cocoa, egg nog, a blueberry muffin, and a snowman cookie from the Main Street Blue Ribbon Bakery and sought out a spot for the parade. After the parade, we were tired, so we left.

Good times.

Next stop in my "Dynamite December Daze" is a Tuesday showing of The Producers at the Pantages Theater in Los Angeles.

P.S. If you haven't already checked out my Winchester Mystery House route, please hurry on up! Click here.

Knowing you wish you were me,


"Father! Father! I've found you!" and then the old man says "Pinnochio?"

I saw Big Fish today. When I first saw the trailer, it intrigued me. Then I found out that it was based on a book, so I read the book. Then the movie opened in few theaters in LA, so MacArthur and Erico Suave invited me to go with them.

Overall, I thought it was great. I really enjoyed the first 2/3 of the book. The book was basically a compilation of many short short (like 1-3 page) stories about Edward Bloom. The stories were fascinating and very funny. Then there are 4 longer parts that take place at the bedside of a dying Edward Bloom. The story is all about this man and his incredible life that seems way too far-fetched to believe. And as his son William grows up hearing these stories over and over, William grows tired of it because he wants to know his real father. But Edward will never ever tell him anything straight.

Anyway, reading the book is kinda hard. The reading is easy, but it's very hard to distinguish what is a tall tale and what is real. And this becomes the overall theme of the story. What's fake and what's not? The answer is, who cares? Sometimes it's better to hear fantastic and outlandish stories than the dull and hurtful truth. And it's important to carry this tradition.

Okay, well as I said, I liked the first 2/3 of the book. During the last couple chapters, it hit me with realism and then ended in a very strange way that I did not understand. So, I kinda just closed the book and shrugged my shoulders and went "huh. okay. whatever."

Now, to the movie. There are many things that are different from the book. Could be different or maybe I just don't remember reading that. For one thing, I don't remember a circus ever being in the book. Also, in the book, we meet characters and they disappear when the story is done. They don't come back. In the movie, characters reappear over and over, which I think was done very well. During the movie, I kept thinking that this was a very nice and personal film in and in itself.

Now to the ending. The film's ending was awesome! It cleared things up for my in the book. Turns out I read it wrong. But where the book ended, I thought the movie should have ended. I can't really talk about it without giving away the movie. I feel as if they extended the ending to further explain the moral to the audience; i.e. dumbed it down for the mainstream. But, the extended ending was good too, but it makes you wonder less about the movie. HERE! (SPOILER WARNING!!! Do NOT read any more of this paragraph if you don't want the ending spoiled!) At the end of the book, it ends when the dad turns into a fish, like he was preparing for his whole life. In the movie, they show the father die and proceed to show his funeral and all the characters of his tall tales come down to the funeral and William sees that his stories were true. After the funeral, they all talk and tell of their stories with Edward and how he touched their lives. Then we see William carrying on this tradition with his son. The problem with this ending is that they confirm the tall tales. I like the ambiguity of it all. Was the dad lying? Most likely. But that's the way he told it. When William tells his father about how he changes into a fish, this is enough explanation of him learning that telling a lie is sometimes better than the real thing (that he must keep on telling tall tales). But that last tale was so well executed that I can forgive. It made me all teary-eyed.

Okay end spoilers

So overall, I enjoyed it greatly and would buy it on DVD. I recommend reading the book before seeing the movie. The book is really easy reading and has way more meaning than I could ever decipher. I think I'll read the book again as soon as Cat is done with it.

We went to the Grove to see the movie which is really nice.

Tomorrow continues the "Dynamite December Daze" with the Cirque Du Soleil show "Varekai." Expect another blog tomorrow.

Banging the milk lady,



Monday, December 08, 2003

My Head. She Hurts. And a Story About Racist Crackers.

I just got back from Disneylandia and I'm very tired. Let me just say a couple things really very quick.

I had California Pizza Kitchen for the second time today and I got the Kung Pow Spaghetti with Chicken and part of Angel Wing Jasmine's Tomato Basil Garlic pizza. So damn good. We were also staring at the table behind us, oogling their Club California pizza which looked really good. They got a little annoyed at us staring after a while.

Angel Wing Jasmine got me some gift cards from Pac Sun and Best Buy for Decemberness. She also got me a hot Sports Illustrated Swimsuit calendar. I bought a shirt from Pac Sun today.

Disneyland was filled with idiots today. We were walking through Splash Mountain's Fast Pass queue and some stupid white guy thought he'd be cool and hold out his hand (with a Mickey Mouse glove) and ask for high fives as people passed. We just walked by as he begged and so he says, "That's why you guys can't drive..." I can't believe we still live in this f***ed up world that takes stereotypes to heart. Does he know me? Then how the f*** does he know how I drive, stupid high school cracker b****. Makes me remember why I hate mankind... or just the teenage variety.

I ate tons of crap today and I feel sick. I'm feeling really hot at the moment, like feverish. I'll just drink some water.

On to other things...

I finished my christmas card and will be sending out the weblink in a few days. Make sure I have your email if you would like to receive it.

Lookin' all holiphobic!



Thursday, December 04, 2003

Getting All Christmassy

So here's the surprise.

I'm making a very cool christmas card to send out to peeps and I've been working long and hard for the past two days. My eyeballs hurt as a result.

I can't say much about it, but it will definitely be fun!

In other news, I've been having very rumbly stomach aches lately. I think it's because I eat Famous Amos cookies and Funyuns for lunch and linner. If so, it's worth it.

Um, nothing else much to tell you except that I'm about to finish Big Fish the book and it is AWESOME! So funny. I was recently rewatching the trailer and there are things in the movie that aren't in the book. I hope they keep the overall story in tact.

Jeeziuming some crow,