Sunday, January 30, 2005

Gads of Books!

I've decided to inform you all on what books I am currently reading. Oddly enough, I just noticed that I did this exact same thing at around the same time last year.

I'm still trying to finish the second Abarat book. I keep finding the book dry and dull. I feel a little gypped that the girl is actually... well, I won't spoil the dang story. But rest assured, I'm disappointed that the story turned out to be just another hum-drum something-a-rather.

I finally got my hands on a copy of Book the Sixth of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. While reading these books, they always bore me in the beginning, infuriate me in the middle, and engage me at the conclusion. I still love the narrative style of the books, but the way the adults are portrayed really pisses me off. It's just frustrating to read sometimes. I was about ready to give up on the series after reading the uneventful fourth book, but I trudged onto the fifth book which introduced some story arcs and now I'm very interested to see how things play out. Who knows if I'll finish the series though. Lind-z and K-mart both stopped reading the series during book seven and R-man quit during the ninth, I believe.

I also picked up, after a recommendation from a friend, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide, which contains all of books in the Hitchhiker's series, starting with The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Yes, the movie is coming soon to theaters, so I hope to read it in time. It's supposed to be wacky, hilarious, and satirical. Let's hope so. Lord knows I need more satire in my life.

So those are the books I am currently (or in the near future) reading.

Now on to movies...

Yesterday, I saw Hide & Seek. First of all, I had no idea it was rated R and after seeing it, I now have no idea why it was rated R. It was barely violent and bloody. Sure we see a pool of blood and some cuts and battered faces (doll faces to be exact), but nothing particularly R worthy.

I thought the movie was okay. It flowed episodically, showing you scene after scene of things that seem like they don't serve a purpose, but in the end you understand why they showed it.

Speaking of the end, it was said that the ending is wildly unpredictable and will have people talking all weekend. I'm sorry to report that I figured it out and it's not all that unpredictable to tell you the truth. If this movie came out 7 years ago, I'm sure I might not have figured out the ending. But I've seen basically the same kind of "twist" ending in other movies, so when it was actually revealed, I wasn't impressed.

Then after the secret was revealed, I found it pretty cornball hokey and laughable. Maybe I just don't dig these kinds of movies anymore. Back in high school, I would have probably idolized this film. But I guess after seeing the same kinds of films over and over, it just doesn't interest me anymore.

Oh, and speaking of endings. I don't think any movie should ever again be advertised as "WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE ENDING! YOU'LL NEVER EXPECT IT!" Here's why... If they only advertise that the ending is mindblowing, then that's all I want to see. I sat in the theater in agony waiting for the ending to just come already. Movie shouldn't be only about their endings. I want to watch a movie that I enjoy throughout and then am completely satisfied by the conclusion. I shouldn't want a movie to be over. That's not natural.

Well, I wouldn't recommend it. It's more of a movie that I'd just like to hear about the ending from someone else. Kinda like The Forgotten. Has anyone seen that and would like to spoil it for me? I have no interest in sitting through the movie. I just want to know why the hell people are yanked into the air.

Oh and speaking of K-mart, it's her birthday today! So if you see her, wish her a very merry sweet eighteen and give her a lotto scratcher to play!

Your local book and movie critic,


Monday, January 24, 2005

24 on the 24th and 24

Today is Angel Wing Jasmine's 24th birthday! So if you're somewhere up north, then you're most likely a redneck hillbillie, and therefore able to say "happy birthday" to her!

Since I'm all the way down in lonely and uneventful Southern California, getting AWJ a gift was harder than usual. I could have gotten her a simple gift card and sent it in a small envelope, but I thought that was a little boring. So what I did was went to and ordered a boatload of goodies for her and had them send it directly from their warehouse to her front porch.

In the box, I got her a Care Bears Storybook collection, a book of Jumbles, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction, and a 311 Live DVD. The USPS site says that she received them this morning, so I'm not spoiling anything. And I'm really glad my timing worked out and it arrived at her door on the correct day.

So I hope Angel Wing Jasmine has a kickass birthday even though I'm not around to have dinner with her.

Speaking of today, there was a study that showed that today, January 24, is the worst day of the year. They're reasons are three-fold: 1) It's the middle of winter and weather can be miserable 2) People may find themselves in debt after "no payments till..." offers expire at the end of this month 3) People find that they've failed their New Year's resolutions.

I'm sad to bring such horrible news on such a nice day as Angel Wing Jasmine's birthdate, but I have to agree with this somewhat. It just so happens that today fell on a Miserable Monday and I had to go to work. And while at work, I wasn't feeling at all well. My head was spinning and aching and pulsating and I was very very tired. Today, I just felt really terrible, not in the mood to socialize and barely in the mood to complete my work (which got done anyhow). I think I just need a long nap and the fact that 24 is on tonight will definitely bring me out of this temporary funk.

Red eyed and moody,


Saturday, January 22, 2005

Ocean's 5

Early this morning, we compiled our team for the heist of the century. The team consisted of Mother Routes, Father Routes, Mr. and Mrs. Wee (I work with Mrs. Wee), and I and the target was an office building in the City of Angels.

Our plan was to park the truck next to the building, scurry passed security, up the elevators, through a locked office door, and take six highly priced office chairs. Then it's back down the elevator, passed the security guard, and into the truck for a grand getaway.

Well, that's how it felt in my head. My work was giving away used chairs that were taking up valuable office space, and somehow for some reason, we claimed 3 of them (Mrs. Wee claimed 3 others). I really didn't want these chairs since they were a big hassle getting them back to The Routes House. But I gotta admit that the chairs are really comfortable and cool.

Yesterday night, we had to finish this 750 piece puzzle of New York that Ellvin Kelvin's girlfriend gave my parents. After about 3 weeks, it was finally coming down to the final stretch where we just had a bunch of blue pieces to fill in the sky. Lemme just say that puzzle's suck ass. I can't see how anyone finds joy in doing them. It's all trial and error and error and error and error and error and error and error and frustration. I hated every minute of doing it, but somehow for some reason, I couldn't stop doing it. So we finished at around midnight.

I'm going to start a new business that sells posters mounted on cardboard and cut to give the impression of a completed puzzle. I think tons of lame asses who like to take credit for completing stuff, while not actually doing stuff, would pay good money to be fakes. I know I would.

Tip of the day: When microwaving Bagel Bites, don't put a paper towel over them. If you do, the paper sticks to the toppings and after you pull the paper off, your toppings are removed with it and you're left with just the bagel.



Friday, January 14, 2005

Random Hearts

I don't really know what to write about tonight. I've got a lot of short tidbits to write about, but nothing that sticks out and screams "I GOTTA TELL ALL TWO OF MY READERS THIS!"

So here are the random things I have to tell:

- I'm busy trying to find a gift for Angel Wing Jasmine. Her birthday is so very near and I'm having a rough time finding something of her liking. And then I gotta ship that bad boy up north.

- The iPod Shuffle was announced the other day and it looks pretty sweet. It's the size of a pack of Bubblicious bubble gum and it can hold either 512MB or 1GB. The catch though is that there is no screen, so Apple is pushing it as "Life is Random" and unpredictable. You never know what song will be next! That sounds sorta cheesy, but it's fun to hear the spin.

It's only $99 though which is really nothing. So I figure I'll just pick one up for the hell of it. When I listen to my iPod, I usually pick one playlist and hear all the songs from it on shuffle, so I think the iPod Shuffle could prove very useful. Yes, sometimes the iPod, as small as it is, feels too big and bulky to carry around. I'm spoiled.

I'm also thinking about getting the new iMac Mini. Yes, the conversion from a PC to an Apple computer is a big leap, but I figure anything is better than his POS computer I'm using now.

- I'm headed back to New York! Erico Suave, MacArthur, and I are going to be staying at Ellvin Kelvin's studio apartment while he is in Hawaii. We're only going to be there for 5 nights, so it's going to be a major task to see as many shows as possible. Right now, my personal preference is to see Wicked, Brooklyn, Avenue Q, and Beauty & the Beast. I think we're trying to do Broadway on a budget, but I'm willing to shell out (reasonably) whatever to see a show. I'm in New York... so why not?

- Erico Suave's birthday is coming next month and I already know what I'm going to get him. This past Christmas was pretty crappy when Princess Karlita and I gave him the same shirt from Hot Topic. But this gift, I'm absolutely sure she can not replicate. I hope I can get it in time though...

- My iPod warranty is almost up and my battery is not quite working as well as it used to. I've always considered just extending the warranty an extra year for $60 (I've heard that it includes a free battery replacement when the battery is 50% depleted). But I'm also hearing some nightmare stories about Apple making excuses and wiggling their way out of replacing the batteries for free, so I don't think I'm going to go with that option. The second option is to have Apple replace the battery for $99. Way too expensive for a battery that still only offers 8 hours of playback. So, with the advice from, I am going to get a $30 replacement battery (with a 10 hour life) and replace it myself. I only hope I can successfully do it.

- I've changed offices at work. They were rearranging people and I got placed next to the front door in a small little nook. It's actually pretty nice. I'll get pictures in the future.

- I'm almost done with Sora's story on Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories. The card aspect turned me off to the game at first, but I actually like it now. Will I play more card games? Hell no. Well, I don't know. Metal Gear Acid for the PSP is coming out soon and it's card based, so we'll see.

Alright, I'm done rambling. I'm gonna just kick back, relax, and enjoy this three day weekend. Thank you Mr. Luther King!

Turning random thoughts into ten page novels,


Sunday, January 09, 2005

Jack Jack Attack!

I continue to love television.

Thank gwarsh 24 is back and filling in my empty Monday night schedule! I used to watch Fear Factor, but that show is all sorts of lame now.

You may or may not remember or care, but back on my August 04, 2004 blog entry, I talked about how they were filming 24 at Union Station. Well finally, that episode aired (Hour 2) and they were all over where I am just about every day. It was exciting to see. It would have been more exciting if I left work early that day and was actually in the shots.

But 24 is back and kicking major boot. This season started out completely strong; much much stronger than seasons 2 and 3. Where else can you get two major explosions in one hour of television? Season one's opener only has it beat because it had a badboot airplane explosion.

So let's recap. Sundays: Simpsons; Desperate Housewives. Mondays: 24. Tuesdays: Scrubs; Committed. Wednesdays: Lost. Thursdays: Joey. Fridays: Nothing. Saturdays: Nothing.

I have a nicely filled TV schedule again! I can live for another year. Yes!

Always forgetting to list The Teletubbies,


Wednesday, January 05, 2005

a bum's life

Apparently Urinetown is the Dash bus that takes me to the train station because that's exactly what it smelled like.

Sometimes public buses just smell like urine for the hell of it, but this one wreaked of pee pee because of a lady. All was well on the Dash when we boarded, but things soon turned to golden shower heaven when this (I'm assuming) homeless woman boarded the bus and sat 3 seats in front of me.

Immediately, I could smell what felt as if my head were face down in a urinal (sans the urinal cake). At first, I tried to be nice about it and just stop breathing, but I guess there's something wrong with me because I can't quit breathing for too long. So then I started taking short periodic sips of air from my mouth, but after thinking that I'm technically eating the smell of the urine (and therefore possibly particles of piss dust), I grossed myself out and held my breath.

So here's the question... when do you just stop being nice and straight up hold your nose in front of her? You know, people like that probably know they smell and are all used to people within their radius recoiling their noses in disgust. So in this case, it took me exactly 20 seconds before I didn't care if I offended the homeless lady and dug my nose into my backpack so I didn't have to smell her pee-pee-soaked rags any longer. Best decision of my flippin' life.

Here's the kicker though. It didn't help all that much. The smell of what appears to have been the gutter water she drank for breakfast bypassed the backpack and invaded full force. All I could do was clutch my backpack tighter and think of lillies until the lady was gone.

Several blocks later, she realized that she was on the wrong freakin' bus and left. It turns out she didn't even pay the full bus fare, but the driver let her ride anyway. Stupid nice bus drivers. And this is why I don't like giving money to the homeless. It'll only bite you in the ass in the future.

Just the other day, a homeless man got on the bus and paid his 25 cent fare. He then wished everyone a happy new year and asked everyone to give him at least a penny each. The man continued to talk and plead his case in both English and Spanish until he got really annoyed when no one was giving up change. He started yelling, "It's just a penny!"

Bottom line: You give him a penny and he'll keep having enough money to get on the bus and beg for more.

Am I being heartless? Probably. But I don't care. I'm out to make my life as enjoyable as possible. And before you say, "Just wait till you're homeless and smell and can't help it and start making people gag," I just want to say that I already smell. So there.



Tuesday, January 04, 2005

One World. Two Families.

Keeping with the tradition of breaking New Year's resolutions, I failed to come through with my ambitious plan of blogging every day. Did anyone think I was actually serious anyway? Please.

Anywho, it's a little late, but here are some pictures from my Christmas celebrations:

Party with Grandparent K's side.

Party with Grandma M's side.

Being retarded. Don't mess foo.

Craving more Metal Gear,

Metal Gear Ricky

Sunday, January 02, 2005

"It was a happy new year's day!"

Sure, I get it. We say "happy new year" because it's short for "I wish you a happy new year," but I still like my pessimistic views on life. So there.

Anyway, I'm gonna be bold for the year 2005. It'll be crazy ambitious, but I'm going to log in a blog EVERY day of this new year! Oh the stories I'll tell...

So come back every single day to read what I have to say. And maybe I'll rhyme my blogs like that last sentence. That's a bonus!

Thinking up the topic for tomorrow's blog,


Saturday, January 01, 2005

Happy/Crappy New Year?!

I was thinking. It's a little odd that we all say "happy new year" at the very start of the year. For all we know, it could be the worst year of our lives. It just seems like something optimists say and well, being a borderline pessimist, I'm going to go ahead and wish everyone a Happy New Year with a big fat question mark...


Let's all wait till the end of the year to evaluate whether it was a good and happy year or not. And on December 31, 2005 at 11:58pm, we'll count down to 11:59pm and all shout "It was a happy new year!" or "2005 SUCKED!"

Don't ya'll jump the gun on me. Patience is the key to happiness. And speaking of patience, WHEN THE HELL WILL THIS LONG ASS ROSE PARADE END??????????

Starting the new year off right,