Friday, July 29, 2005

And He Shall Rise From the Ashes

As you know, I had reported weeks ago, in a little hissy fit of rage, that Errol, my iMac G5, passed to the hereafter. Yup, sadly, I only had him in my possession for five weeks when his... heart... crashed. But he's taken a tip from his friend, the phoenix, and was reborn anew! Errol 2 is now with me and though he is officially Errol 2, I'm just too damn lazy to say the number after his name, so I'll just lovingly refer to him as just Errol. Yes, from this point on, he will just be... Errol.

Errol's great again; if not even better! Sure I have to reset every single setting I had before, reload every single program and widget, redo i(friggen)Tunes AGAIN, but Errol's running smoother (thus far) and quieter even!

So hopefully we won't have to see Errol 3 rise from the ashes. Otherwise I'll just kick Errol to the curb and apply his cage to a new Powerbook! Though in two years, I am thoroughly committed to buying a Powerbook (to name Fawkes) and live wirelessly ever after.

In other news, Father Routes has decided to kick out a tenent at his apartment complex who has only been living there for four months. She has only paid for one month of RENT and has displayed that she has el zilcho dinero. I don't understand what people don't understand. When it comes to renting a place out, if you can't pay, you can't stay. See ya el pobre. Thar be no freebies in this world from us. We slaved for weekends making over that apartment and we're not about to just let someone stay there for free. F that.

And F play counts!


Monday, July 25, 2005

Friend or No

Have you ever seen someone you haven't seen in ages and are pretty sure that it is that person that you think it is, but there's that .01% of doubt that prevents you from initiating the "catching up" conversation?

One instance of this occurred just last week at the Harry Potter Premiere. As I mentioned on July 16, I saw Captain Gable at the bookstore. When I saw him, I immediately recognized him, but as I approached him to greet, I suddenly doubted myself. I don't think its necessarily a case of forgetting what someone looks like, but the fear of embarrassment if that person is not who you think it is.

Case in point. I know all my co-workers' names. But when I see someone pass through the halls and they greet me, I can't bring about myself to greet them back by their name. I always look five seconds forward at the worst possible scenario where I have called them by the wrong name. To me, it's safest to say just "hi" back. No risk at all.

So, back to my encounter with Captain Gable. I approached him, but didn't say anything. I looked away until from the corner of my eye, I saw that he recognized me. Then and only then, I turned and said something.

Well that brings us to yesterday. At the gym, I was running on the treadmill when someone jumped onto the treadmill next to mine. I looked over and I was fairly/pretty damn sure that it was an old friend from high school; one who knew how much of a Disney freak I was and made fun of my cartoon loving ways. Well, the level of doubt was higher than usual because she looked exactly like she did back in high school and I fully expect that people change in six years time. I was thinking that it could have been her younger identical sister.

Well anyhoodle, I just kept to myself and kept on jogging and walking. I was wearing glasses at the time, so perhaps she didn't know if it was me or not. I think she was looking over at me, but I couldn't really see. Then, because of the massive oil runoff from my forehead into my eyes, I took off my glasses. I could see, through the corner of my eyes, this blur looking over toward me continuously, but still she said nothing; perhaps because I was listening to my iPod.

The time came for me to end my cardio, so I took out my earphones to give her a chance to say hi, if it was indeed her. Then I stopped the treadmill. She didn't say anything in the 1.3 seconds I gave her, so I just hopped off the treadmill and walked away, never looking back. Maybe next time I see her at the gym, she'll say hi. I mean, if it was really her, she would have totally known it was me. My face hasn't changed much since high school. I have just about the same stringy hair. And I was wearing a big giant Mickey Mouse T-shirt!



Sunday, July 24, 2005

King Tut-and-Yawnin'

We went. We saw. We went home.

The "Tutankhamun and the Golden Age of the Pharaohs" exhibit has been in Los Angeles for a while now and we finally went to see what all the hoopla was about and in my eyes, well, I'm sorry to report that there isn't much at all to hoop and hollar about.

I really had no expectations for the exhibit. Lee Leman asked if we wanted to go and I thought it'd be a cool thing to cover on my now-pretty-much-defunct website. However, like many stupid museum stuff, cameras were not allowed. So Timotei and I tagged along anyway; even though the ticket price was pretty damn steep ($35).

The thing is that I don't really have any interest in King Tut nor Pharaohs nor Egypt nor tombs and stuff. Hell, I didn't even much like The Mummy movies. So I went in not knowing what to expect and with very little knowledge of King Tut's history.

The history was interesting enough after I read about it throughout the display; and yes, there was a shotload of reading. King Tut was king since he was around 10 years old and died when he was 19. His death is a mystery. I'm not sure what he did that made him so significant, but meh, I didn't really care.

The museum exhibit was sort of ho-hum because to be honest, it wasn't really that cool looking at the artifacts. I could have seen the whole thing on a Discovery Channel special on TV and been happy. Nothing there was a *must-see-in-person* thing. In fact, if you can't make it to the exhibit in its limited run, just go to the official site and view the pictures of the artifacts there. There, I saved you thirty bucks.

So you see a bunch of old busts, jewelry boxes, canes, and figurines and you finally come to the room dedicated to Tut's burial chamber and... they show you a projection of his mummified body. Very anticlimactic.

Throw in a half a billion people all trying to look at the tiny displays and it just wasn't worth the time or the money. Maybe I'm just spoiled because you can see the same types of things in the Met at New York, with far less crowds, and take pictures with them. The only difference is the brand name. All you get in New York is a generic Pharaoh; the Dr. Skipper of Egyptian kings. But hey, it sure as hell doesn't make a difference to me.

It's okay though. I can now tell all my friends that I saw the King Tut exhibit and they'll reply, "Oh really? What do you want for lunch?" Lousy uncultured swines.

Biding my time,


Saturday, July 23, 2005

Grim Sum

I am here today not as my cheery self (Go Team!), but as a pissed off mo fo of a customer who had the shittiest experience at a chinese dim sum place called New Capitol.

I didn't notice what grade the place had, but I'm sure if they displayed it properly, it would be close to an F. I hate how nasty chinese restaurants are. They keep the entire place as well kept as the moss-filled tanks they keep their barely alive lobsters and fish.

It was gnarly nasty. We waited half an hour to get seated. We got there at around 1:30pm and they unofficially stop making dim sum around that time. We got some dishes right away including a shrimp dumpling dish that had a dead ant on it. So we told the lady pushing the cart that there was an ant on it and she gave us a new dish, picked the ant off the dumpling with her hand and put the dish back on the cart to sell to someone else. Then there were instances I saw of people sticking their chopsticks into the carts to pick what dish they wanted (and many times changing their mind and putting it back).

After only about 7 small dishes of food, barely enough for our appitites, the food stopped coming. We just watched as the ladies with the carts cleaned them off and set them out to dry. We waited there for half an hour hoping anything would come out to eat, but nothing did. So after several audible complaints by yours truly ("This place fucking sucks!") and trying to make as much of a mess and fuss as possible (spilling tea all over the table), we left angrily and gave them a one dollar tip; a generous 4% if you ask me.

So to dim sum things up, the place is nasty, unsanitary, bad servicey, and just plain sucks. Never again.

Routes Restaurant Rating (out of ****):

Food - **
Service - Big Fat Zero
Price - ***
Eating Conditions - *
Overall - *

Thinking that I could have farted in my mouth and it would have been a better meal,

Critical Ricky

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Defense Against the Dark Farts

Yesterday I farted.

There, that makes the name of this entry valid.

Now on to pressing matters. I finally finished Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. With last weekend so busy and work occupying most of my time, I only had time to read here and there, on the bus, on the train, at the few hours at home before I passed out. But it doesn't matter because I finally got through it and much quicker than I realize. I mean, the book read so fast that I hardly knew it when I was coming up on the final pages.

So anyway, I loved the book. It's my third favorite in the series, just after Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire. And events within the book have upped my rating of Chamber of Secrets. What exactly? I won't say.

Of course, it would be wrong of me to discuss such things as spoilers, so I won't. You can rest assured Samantha Wu. But this seems to be the darkest yet in the series, but at the same time, the fluffiest. I'm really excited to see this book as a movie, but will it just be Harry and Dumbledore standing over a birdbath? That's not really a spoiler since it's the cover of the book. Well, I don't know the answer to my question; and it wasn't really a question to be answered. But I do know this: I like beans because of the effect on my gas, not the means to the end. What the hell does that mean? That, my friends, is a question for another time. When that time will be, no one knows for certain. But allow me to ask upon you this: Did I really have more to say in this blog other than I finished the book and that I loved it? Now that I cannot answer at this moment, but I can tell you yes. The rest of this blog was entirely a waste.

Avada Kablabbering,

Roonil Wazlib

Monday, July 18, 2005

Reunion Reloaded

So back in high school, my old group of friends affectionately known as The Loud Crowd made a pact. Written on the skin of forty pigs and signed with blood, we agreed to meet up at the Main Street Cinema at Disneyland on its fiftieth birthday. Well, instead of July 17th, we placed the reunion on the eve of the fiftieth and all but one of The Loud Crowd made it.

It was pretty fun. We all caught up pretty quickly and somehow picked up where we left off, channeling our loud and obnoxious high school selves. Yes, it's funny looking back. You see high school kids these days and roll your eyes at how cool they think they are. They're just noisy and moronic. And yes, that was our group. People grow up in time though.

These weird tangents I go off on. I apologize.

Anyway, we talked, we joked, we ate, and well, there was a lot of chest honking (to put it lightly). It was very very interesting and a lot of fun. Tiring as hell, but fun.

And in more exciting news, two people close to me are engaged! Loud Crowd alumni, Meechi, got engaged recently to her boyfriend of four years. She's a freakin' sweetheart and I can't wait to be the best man coughnudgenudgecoughphlegm.

And in my family, Charmin just got engaged to her boyfriend Tony-Toni-Tone of two years. Word had leaked to nearly everyone before Charmin had a chance to tell us herself. I'm really excited for her. The first of our generation of kids to get married. And Tony-Toni-Tone is a cool guy so I give my blessing. Yeah, I know. No one asked for it. Be that way then. Maybe I just won't take up your offer to be ring bearer.


Loud Crowd Alumni

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Ideal iPodder and Harry Potter

Before I endulge myself into the sweet sixth year at Hogwartz, I would like to tell you the splendid events that sprang forth before I got my hands on the book.

Day started with work. Nothing new there. At work, I made an appointment for a "Genius" to take a look at my iMac at the Apple store in South Coast Plaza. We drove all the way down there and while we waited for what seemed like forever, we bonded with some fellow iPodders and Mac users. They were having problems too and gave me some sound advice: Be strong. Be polite. Be persistent.

Finally the time came and it was as simple as... 1) Here's the error code I received 2) No, anything of importance was saved 3) Sign the dotted line for it to be repaired. The "Genius" said that I was the ideal Apple customer because I did all his work for him. He then showed us how to open up the iMac. Three little screws and boom, it's opened. It's such a beautiful layout inside too.

We drove back through traffic and after a quick liquid dream of a dump, we went to pick up Lindz and Rionheart to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which was pretty good but not as good as I expected. Johnny Depp was awkward in it. Still a very entertaining movie with a good message.

Anyway, before the movie, we picked up our numbers to buy the Harry Potter book (sort of the Borders fastpass). Each customer is allowed to buy up to three books and therefore get three numbers. I got three just in case K-mart and R-man showed up to buy. My numbers were 093, 094, and 095.

K-mart came by while we were in the theater. I handed her one of my tickets. So I had two, but I was only getting one book. So I was about to just hand it off to a random person when I saw Captain Gable, Princess Karlita's brother, at the store. He had come alone to get the book. He told me that he was #375 to get the book, so I told him that was unacceptable and I gave him my #095 ticket, to which he was grateful. It was cool catching up with him. He's a really good guy.

After that, Timotei, Lindz, Rionheart, and I went to In 'n' Out Burger for some shakes and snacks.

So now I'm off to read a few hundred chapters about the half-blooded prince. Some news to leave you with. Stephen Lynch is starring as Robbie Hart in The Wedding Singer musical! I am so there next Spring.

"So wait and see / I will be / Everything you never let me" - Rufio


Wednesday, July 13, 2005

The Rockin'est Homecoming

We begin with some words from Scott Sellers himself:

We'll leave today with the windows down
And we'll ride away like we own this town...
And living on our own...
These nights are fading away in the distance
An open road in the darkness
With a street sign that says home

Those are some of the lyrics to my favorite song at the moment. Wow, it's been a while since I've had one of those.

Yesterday, Rufio's latest album came out. I am a freakin' die-hard Rufio fan. They are hands down my favorite band in the world (with Dashboard Confessional next in line). I've only seen Rufio play twice and I'm afraid that's the most I'll ever see them. I feel that I've outgrown the moshpit crowding days. Too many kids nowadays (not to mention mostly bigger than me). But man, if I had the money, I would totally pay them to play at a party or something.

Anyway, so their new album came out and it ROCKS! Although I instantly loved their freshman and sophomore albums, it took me a few listens to really love this album. I'm the kind of guy who dwells on great sound and deep lyrics and this album really delivers. My one complaint is that the songs generally all sound alike. There was more variety from the previous albums, but hey, I still love it.

And I recently donated $10 to the band after their band equipment was stolen from their hotel. It seriously was the least I could do. I wanted to give them more, but for $15, I could get a nice shirt from the band. So $10 is a pretty justified donation. I sound cheap.

I heart Rufio,


Friday, July 08, 2005

One Short Day in the Tinsel Town

After nearly five months of advanced planning, it came to one short night in Hollywood to see Wicked. Of course, the day started off with work as usual, but being a short Friday helped ease the sluggishness.

After work, Mother Routes, Timotei, and I went straight to Universal City via the Metro Red Line subway. We browsed through some stores where Timotei bought a bling blingy Fossil brand watch. He had been eager to make an "all-for-me" purchase for a while now that he's got money.

Not too long after, we started to get hungry and decided to eat at Gladstone's. I had heard much about the place, but nothing specific. All I really knew was that they shape your leftovers into a foil swan. We ordered pretty big. I had the halibat. Timotei had the Mahi Mahi. Mother Routes had a hot seafood sampler with all the fried everything you could eat. It was a nice time and all, but when our waiter returned with our boxed leftovers, there was no swan to be found. I was disappointed. That blunder shaved off 10% from the tip.

Dining at Gladstones on Universal CityWalk.

After CityWalk, we headed to Hollywood and Highland and bought some stuff at American Eagle Outfitters. I bought a new shirt that was perfectly appropriate for the show. It looks just like another shirt I have (from the same store), but it was only $12 so I didn't care.

Then it was finally time to get down to the theater, coincidentally right when everyone else in our party was showing up. Most of them hadn't eaten yet, so we shared our seafood leftovers. But I guess that wasn't good enough because a lot of folks went to a nearby cart to eat some hot dogs. Here's a montage:

Eat fast. Chew later.

And then we took some pictures and went inside. The show itself was pretty good. Not the best cast as some of the singing was off, but great performances from the Wizard and Morrible. They really stood out. Also of note, at intermission, MacArthur alerted me to the fact that the original Glinda from the New York production was in the audience. After much delay, Cat and I went up to her and chatted for a bit. Apparently it was her first time actually seeing the show. She signed our programs and we quickly got out of her hair. She was really sweet and damn hot!

Like a happy family.

And that was that. My own personal Summer Du Joy trudges along without much fanfare. Next week sees MacArthur's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory birthday party, as well as the brand spankingest new Harry Potter book: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I can't wait to get my eyes in that!

Oh, and congrats to me! This entry marks my 200th blog. Looks like I'm averaging 100 posts per year.

Lightning bolt scar tingling,


Wednesday, July 06, 2005

How Do You Measure... Measure Two Years

I had written a reminder on my iMac that my blog anniversary was yesterday, but since it died, I totally forgot. Well, it's pretty cool lasting two years with my thoughts online. My readership has grown from three readers to five and my blogs have become increasingly bitter and angry (as witnessed in the last entry).

But I ain't stoppin' now! I won't let a defective computer stop me from my noble readers, oh no! I will blog until blogging ain't cool no more. Yeah, yeah, everyone and their mamba instructor has a blog nowadays and I gotta be honest, I don't read anyone else's. But I'm trying to remember why exactly I started this thing. Maybe I secretly wanted a diary all my life. Or maybe I thought I could write entertaining little stories that people will enjoy reading. Or maybe I just had too much time on my hands. In any case, I've enjoyed the experience and experiment and you have all fallen into my trap! These blogs have been subtly sending subliminal messages into your brain. You're all my loyal servants now and for my first command, I instruct you all to send me a dollar.

I think I'm going to start a new tradition that I should have started two years ago. I'd like to post a "now" picture of me that will be updated on the anniversary date. We'll see how I age! Maybe someone can make a flipbook out of it and I'll look like I drank from the wrong holy grail.

So here I am, 2005:

Image hosted by

Five dollars richer,


Saturday, July 02, 2005

S-Mac Down!

So today started out just freakin' fine and dandy. I tend to try and avoid using those queer ass terms such as "fine and dandy," but I'm trying to come off as extremely sarcastic at the moment (as I punch this blog into my keyboard fucking pissed).

I was chatting with S-Dawg while looking up some stuff on the internet. Possibly some Disney stuff. When all of a sudden, my computer starts to freeze up. The screen would freeze up and give me that lovely beach ball mouse icon (the equivalent of the hourglass icon for PC users). These freeze ups lasted for minutes apart and would again freeze when I clicked anywhere on the screen. So I powered it down and back on and would you fucking know it??? The damn thing never starts up again.

So I try my damndest to fix the problem, but after several different scans, I'm told by the computer that the hard drive needs to be repaired. So I'm going to have to get my ass down to the Apple store and get it fixed (and I have to drag Nick Burns along with me). Yeah, I need a replacement part after only about 50 days of operation. This is not the reliable, problem-free Apple experience I was expecting. Somehow, I always get the bad luck with big purchases. I get the shitty parts. I get the headaches. Fuck this shitty life!

Dammit, could I just catch a break for once? Jesus, is that so much to ask? God damn this fucking world. Now I really do hope aliens come and destroy the planet. Where the hell was that apocolypse that we were promised? WHERE ARE THE FUCKING TRUMPETS???

Note: I realize that any company I buy a computer from could potentially install a defective hard drive. In no way does this make me completely regret switching to Apple. Will I switch back to PCs? Fuck no. I can't go back to boring operating systems. I'm going to get this fixed and return to the iMac. But I sure as hell will be scared that my hard drive will go on the fritz again. Hell, if I learned anything from this (and it's happened before on the PC and I never ever learn), it's this: BACK UP YOUR FUCKING COMPUTER!!!

If I have to go through that iTunes crap again, I'm just going to have to slam my head through the monitor and end it all now.

The fucking luckiest mother fucker on the planet because I won $15 and a broken hard drive,


Friday, July 01, 2005

Friggin' Suite!

My new big boss invited my entire department to the Dodgers vs. the D'backs tonight. With the Fourth of July weekend and many co-workers leaving town, extra tickets were distributed to Mother Routes's side and she and Timotei got to go too!

The company has a suite on the first base line and it was freakin' awesome sitting there. From the time we entered, we noticed that our tickets were bigger and grander than normal tickets. We knew exactly where to go, but we asked people anyway so that we could make it KNOWN that we were in the suite.

When we got to the room, many co-workers were already there. They had free food set out; Dodger dogs, barbeque chicken, sandwiches, salad, potato salad, pasta salad, chips, popcorn, assorted nuts, cookies, fruit, beer, soda, mineral water... but the greatest food item came by special cart... The Dessert Wagon. Jebus Crisco, they had desserts up the wazoo. All sorts of cheesecake, Snickers cake, candy, caramel apples, chocolate shot glasses, and cupcakes made it the fatman's heaven. But for me, I got the 6 layer carrot cake which was undoubtedly the BEST carrot cake I've ever had in my life. Six layers of goddamn goodness with a whipped cream that bitch-slapped my tastebuds. I ate so much.

The game was awesome too! The Dodgers kicked major major league ass! There were two homeruns and Jason Repko made a spectacular catch out in right field where he slammed into a lighted display. It was craaaazy!

I'll have pictures from the event soon.

In other news, I am getting a new pair of eye glasses. I've been heavily wearing my contact lenses for the past year (day in and day out from 5am to midnight) and my eyeball is telling me, "NO!" Something about developing bumps on my eyeball something something. Whatever. I really don't give a shit about my health anymore. Fuck this whole life thing.

Anyway, now I'm trying to cut down on my contact lens reliance and wear glasses most of the time. I had a pair of glasses, but they were really thick, so I never wanted to wear them out. So this time, I paid $255 out-of-pocket for the thinnest pair I could get; the best money can buy. They'd better be nice or that's just another $255 sitting on my counter while I develop more speed bumps on the ol' corneas.

Root root rooting for anything good to happen,