Saturday, April 30, 2005

Life Should Be Simple

Oy vey. This past week crawled along.

I'm trying to keep things on the downlow because nothing is set in stone, but I'm possibly very close to getting a full-time permanent job with benefits and the whole shabang. Right now, I'm still a temporary employee hired through an agency, working in the same department and under the same manager as Mother Routes. But one of the employees, Co-worker Mike, on the other side of the floor is leaving the company to go to grad school. Therefore, the head honcho boss approached and notified me when they were posting the job and kept following up until I applied for it. He's a really nice and great and funny boss.

But I don't want to say too much in case I don't get the job. Here's hoping...

Anyway, because of this job thing, I've felt more at liberty to spend money; and spend I have at an alarming rate. You remember that thing Yeah, perhaps I shouldn't have started up on internet buying because now I can't stop. Well, I bought the Lemony Snicket DVD at Circuit City on Tuesday, but found that it was $10 less on Amazon. So I bought it from Amazon, but had to buy something else to get free shipping. I ended up spending $40. Well at least I'm saving money in the long run.

I've got some big purchases coming up. I'm getting a Mac Mini at last (I have been waiting for Apple's new OS, Tiger). I'm also interested in buying a mini DV camcorder because I figure, what good is a Mac if I don't edit video? And if I get this permanent job, I may have to start making payments on a new house. Yeah, you heard me; a freakin' whole house. We'll talk more about that if this whole thing actually pans out.

Maybe it's all these goings-on that are making me feel all squarmy in my skin. And yeah, I realize this blog was written all shittily, but whatever. I'm all squarmy. Cut me a break.

Just wanting some kibble,


Sunday, April 24, 2005

A Ruff Sunday

Man, driving into LA is such a bitch.

Speaking of bitches, I saw Bark! The Musical today with K-mart. But firstly, about that drive (I just can't resist a nice segue).

I was ready to go so very early because for some reason I woke up really early. But I told K-mart to be ready by 12:30pm (the show started at 2pm). Well, because I'm on this very lenient low carb diet, I found that right at 12:20pm, I had to take an urgent dump. So that left me leaving late and backtracking to pick up K-mart late. So we got a late start.

Then there was traffic on the damn 60 freeway as freakin' always. And then I didn't really know where the theater was, so we kinda went down the street until we saw it and then we parked quickly and had to run to the theater (which K-mart hated me for) and made it just in time. In New York, you could just catch a subway and wham, bam, thank you ma'am, you're there. In Los Angeles, driving sucks.

WOOF! RickyRoutes and K-mart go to the dogs.

Well anyway, about the show. It was great! The whole show is essentially sung, save for two monologues which are hilarious. The songs are really fantastic. When they're not funny, they tug at your heartstrings. One dog sings to his master that he's not afraid to be put to sleep and asks to be held while he closes his eyes (it's the only song that's made me cry). Another dog fantasizes about being an astronaut and flying away from the tree that he's bound and chained to. There's a part during that song where the dog, leashed at his collar, marches forward determined to not be held down, yet he doesn't get anywhere. It was a really powerful site to witness. The actors and actresses were all great and K-mart and I met them after. They all just walked by us like we weren't there and when we asked for their autographs, they were all shocked that we wanted them. I guess not many people stick around to meet them, but that's one thing I like most about seeing live shows. The fact that you get to meet the cast after.

My only complaint about the show is that there isn't much of a story to follow. The show is basically a bunch of songs about what dogs do. I guess it would be something you'd see if you were at a doggy day care and dogs could talk and sing. If they string the songs together to tell a simple story, it could become as big as Avenue Q.

Well it's a nice little show that's thoroughly entertaining and I hope it makes it big. Then maybe I can cash in on these autographs!

Big thanks to K-mart for going with me! I had a great time.

Whizzin' on stuff,


Thursday, April 21, 2005

My, My, My, All That I Am is Ever the Same

Life's unexciting. It's work work work work work work work work work work and very little play.

Speaking of a play, just about everyone is going to see K-mart as the Queen Munchkin in her school's production of Wizard of Oz. How perfect is that? This'll refresh everyone's memory of the Wiz del Oz before Wicked. Then, this coming Sunday, K-mart and I are headed down to Hollywood to check out a show called Bark! It's the story of six dogs (played by humans) in a pound, singing about their lives. I read really great reviews for it three or four months ago, but no one was really interested in seeing it with me. I'm all willing to take a risk and see a no name show, but others are a little apprehensive about that stuff (especially when tickets are $40). But K-mart, fresh from her theater-hopping bonanza in New York, was willing to go; so we're going. I'll report back on how the show was.

This past Tuesday, I picked up the new Rob Thomas solo album and it's really awesome! I always liked Matchbox Twenty stuff, but I never bought any of their albums. I figured the radio plays out all their good tunes anyway, so why bother? I wasn't too thrilled about his first release ("Lonely No More") because it sounded like a Ricky Martin tuner. But then I heard him perform his next single ("Ever the Same") and knew I had to run out and get the album. That song is just too awesome. And I'm glad I got the album because most of the songs kick butt.

I'm a couple chapters into the book Life of Pi. It's pretty fantastic so far. It actually reads like a college term paper. The main character gives us thorough explanations to things of faith and humanity. There are so many quotes that I want to pull from the book because they're awesome and well thought out.

If you happen to see Princess Karlita passing by, wish her a happy relaxy birthday!

Fallin' to pieces,


Saturday, April 16, 2005

Trucking Neighbors

Just a few days ago, I received a phone call at home just as our doorbell rang. On the phone was our neighbor from across the street. He called to complain that the alarm on our truck was going off at the moment and that it had been throughout the previous night. He sounded annoyed and frustrated, yet calm, but stern, but still, I didn't really like being bitched at like that. At the door was our other neighbor complaining about the same thing.

Our truck usually sits in the garage, but since we're trying to clean house, it was out on the driveway. Yes, I know that our truck alarm is way to sensitive.

For instance, one day I had to drive the truck to the train station. When I got to the platform, big eighteen wheelers would drive right by where our truck was parked and set off the alarm. At first, I didn't know it was our truck, so as everyone turned to look and bitch, I joined in. Then I realized it was our truck and through a red face, I kept up the guise of hating whomever the truck belonged to.

Moral of the story is, something has to set off the alarm. Unless there were big mother truckers roaring through our tranquil little cul-de-sac, I'm fairly certain that the cause of the alarm were the two or three neighborhood cats that, get this, belong to one of the neighbors who bitched at us.

These freakin' cats are always at our house. Sometimes they dig up our yard. Sometimes they sneak into our garage and meow ALL FREAKIN' NIGHT until we open the garage (and leave it open for a while) and let them out. Sometimes they have sex or something in our backyard and catfight like hell (seriously, it sounds like a 10-foot 7-inch woman clubbing a newborn... and liking it).

Long ago, we were afraid of my brother's room because if you sat in that room for a while, during the night or early morning, you would hear a slight jingle from a bell coming from a dresser near the window. This freaked us out for years. We were also told (and now I know it was a joke) that the bells are the spirit of a dead Chinese man wanting us to help us find out who killed him. Eventually we found out that the neighbor's cat wandered through our backyard and on the wooden structure next to my brother's room and wore a bell on its collar. Mother trucking cats.

So, we were fine with silencing the truck. We unplugged the entire battery until we were able to bring the truck back inside. But I think we need a long term solution. How's this? I'll buy a shotgun and wait for the cats to show up on our driveway. Then, put a nice amount of shotgun shells into their furry little heads. That definitely sounds like a better solution since shotgun blasts are less annoying than car alarms.

Bang, Bang, my kitty got shot down.



Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Life After Near-Death and Taxes

Today, I encountered near-death experience #59483749.

I'm not sure if I've already discussed the many ways I've come oh so close to dying, but if I have, you're gonna read about them again.

Well, there was that time I was boy scout camping at the Kern River, widely known as one of the most deadly, wild, rapidy, rivers in the US. So there I was with a bunch of scouts playing around next to the raging currents, fishing with nets for crayfish or whatever swims in a river. I'm using my friend's net who tells me, "you'd better not lose my net," to which I reply, "I'm not going to lose your stupid net." And low and behold, the net slips from my fingers and I jump into the river to retrieve it. So there I was, floating downstream until another boy scout helps me out.

Witness example #48382849... I was driving to college classes in my old Mercedes Benz with the shoddy brakes. I was going down the freeway at around 80mph when I suddenly see traffic stopped ahead. I slam on the brakes, but it becomes very apparent that the car won't stop in time before colliding into the cars ahead, so I just take a chance and without looking, turn wildly into the next lane (on a two lane freeway). Luckily there wasn't a car next to me and I keep on driving. There was another time between two traffic breaks, a truck behind me was speeding behind me. Everyone including myself came to a quick sudden stop, but through the rear view mirror, I see the truck still charging towards me. Then I heard his brakes screech as he still approached quickly. He merged at the very last second into the carpool lane to avoid my car (I literally could not see his bumper through my mirror as he swerved to miss me).

There have been other times; being assaulted by skin heads, plane engine catching on fire before landing and even resorting to burning off its fuel, running full force and crashing into the vault during gymnastics, getting scared of a bee on the edge of a cliff at the Grand Canyon and jumping around like a moron and almost plummeting 1,000 feet to the mule manure below, etc...

Which brings us to today. Mother Routes and I left the house on time to get to the train station. We then saw a freight train that would block our path to the station, so we took a detour which takes longer. As I pull into the station, we see the train approaching the platform, so I drop Mother Routes off to get in line and then try to find a parking space fast. The only spot is all the way in the back, so I take it, jump out of the car, and run.

I ran as fast as I could down the rows of cars and suddenly out of the corner of my eyes, I see the car next to me pulling out. It literally came inches away from hitting me before I reacted and jumped to the side, but I kept running. I made the train and after realizing what happened, I became rattled.

So there we have it. I was almost killed right after I finished doing my taxes. This goes back to my March 30th blog. If a car is going to hit me, do it before I do my taxes, therefore I don't waste my time. People just don't pay attention to my blogs.

Life maybe scary, but it's only temporary,


Wednesday, April 06, 2005

The Days Go By

Lee Leman brought to my attention that I haven't had an update since last week. So here I am, thank you ma'am, this'll be a treat, Uncle Moe's, while you eat!

Recuerdas when I told you about my damn allergies? Well, it's gotten worse.

This past weekend, I was forced to help Father Routes paint his apartment complex. One of the tenants moved out and left the apartment in shambles. I swear, people don't know that you're not supposed to put holes in walls nor gum all over the freakin' carpet! THESE FREAKIN' PEOPLE!!!

But anyway, on Sunday night, I was very eager to leave that crap place because a) it was 9:30pm b) I had work the next morning c) I hate that damn place d) I was tired.

So I was being a complete brat (rightfully IMHO) and demanding we leave. Since we went during the day and didn't plan to stay that late, I didn't bring a jacket. Well, what do you know, it was freezing that night. So while sitting next to Mother Routes outside on a bench watching Father Routes attempt to wash the gummy carpets, I shot my mouth off and spewed, "I hope I get a cold out here and die."

Well looks like I got part one of my wish. That night, I got the sniffles (which really wasn't any indication that I had a cold because of these damn misleading allergies) and by morning, I had a pretty bad sore throat. Now my head buzzes and I'm sneezing like a mad black woman without a diary. So colour me miserable... and British apparently.

Speaking of segues, I bought the new Mary Poppins soundtrack from the show that's playing in London right now. I've always thought that Mary Poppins would make an awesome stage show and now it's happened! It's gonna go to New York either later this year or next year, but it'll probably be hard to get tickets because it's really popular right now in London. I bought it off Amazon's UK store. It's awesome because my Amazon US account carries over to the UK shop, so it was a cinch to buy. And best of all, I didn't have to pay ridiculous import prices. The CD came out to $20.28.

Anything else to report? I had a Grande Caramel Macchiato today that made me poop long. Other than that (which none of you wanted to know) I've got nothing. Did I ever mention here that the new Lifehouse album rocks?

Hoping part two of my wish doesn't come true any time soon,