Friday, December 30, 2005

End of Year Sneer

It's a good day today! My head honcho boss let the entire department off early for the weekend. However, Timotei ain't a part of my department and so I am sitting here listening to the Newsies soundtrack and writing another interesting chapter to the saga that is my blogga.

I'm actually quite saddened by the lack of well thought-out stories this month. I've been lazy. You'll forgive me because I've been sick most of this month and busy with gift finding. So cruel is the life of mine.

In any word, I thought I'd just use this blog as a year wrap up since I don't anticipate any further blogs for this year (see Laziness above). But I'm not really good with remembrance, so I'm just going to post some random thoughts.

Did I ever tell you guys about the time my belt broke at work? I was called into my manager's office to review something on his computer. As I'm leaning forward to check his monitor, I hear a peeuoo and a ping! and the pressure at my waist felt light. It was when I looked down that I noticed my belt broke and my pants were starting to drop. I had no idea what to say. I kinda just grabbed the two ends of my belt and kept my pants from falling. My boss then looks at me and I just blurt out the obvious, "My belt just broke." I didn't think I had gained much weight, but perhaps only inches around the midsection? Nonetheless, at that moment, I thought I was getting really PHAT (piggy hands and toes). My manager picked up the screw to my belt from under his desk and handed it to me as my face turned cherry red. Apparently the screw on the belt had been loosening all these years and finally gave way at the worst (or best storywise) time imaginable. If my life were a movie, my pants would have fallen and a co-worker would have walked into the office. Oh awkward predicamento!

Angel Wing Jasmine and her bright-eyed best NorCal friend Sunshine came down for a weekend of Holiday Disney exactly two weeks ago. I only got to spend the Friday night with them and it was much fun! Erico Suave saved the day as he got us into the parks for free and also hung out with us to boot. Here are some very overdue pictures:

Sunshine and Angel Wing Jasmine

RickyRoutes and Sunshine

Ellvin Kelvin came back to town last week. It's been fun having him around. I wish he could stay longer. But you know New Yorkians. Why would they choose anywhere else to celebrate the new year when they have the ultimate block party countdown in Times Square? Well, our family got him a PSP for Christmas. I got Timotei an iPod protector he wanted and the second Lord of the Rings movie on DVD.

Now more importantly, the gifts I received! (Please note that I still haven't received gifts from some and I will edit this blog to reflect their gifts once we get a chance to exchange.)

Ellvin Kelvin - a FFAT (furiously fine and tumultuous) pair of DKNY sunglasses (because you know, he's an eye doctor in training)
Timotei - The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap for GBA
Father and Mother Routes - $100 towards the purchase of Ellvin Kelvin's PSP
Angel Wing Jasmine - Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (a seriously FATT [fantastic and titillatingly titular] Nintendo DS title), Futurama comic books and calendar, and a Graeme Base book that I've been wanting since I was in the first grade)
Erico Suave - Trace Memory for Nintendo DS, a Metal Gear Solid comic collection that I've been wanting for months
Princess Karlita - Spelling Bee soundtrack
MacArthur - a comfortable as hell green Mossimo jacket
Family - 2 Gamecube/PS2 games, Simpsons Operation, Harry Potter Scene It, bathroom essentials, gift cards, poker chips, and money!

Overall it was a good haul.

And here's our holiday card if you wish to see it and become merry:

Well, I'm just about out of this office. I thought I had more random thoughts and stories to tell you, but I didn't or I don't have enough time. Oh well, I've got all of 2006 for all that. Gotta save some stories for the future, otherwise my readership would go from two people to one.

Have a PHFATT (potentially healthy, festive, and terribly trite) new year, ya buncha FAT (flabby and tubby) asses!


Sunday, December 25, 2005

Secrete Santa. Bleed Santa.

I'm supposed to write what we got everyone this year, but I think I'll let Lind-z write stuff instead.

Take it...

So, to start off. This Christmas gala has been quite splendid, BUT i am damn tired. Maybe we should have stopped after the second hour of playing that new Harry Potter trivia game Rickina (new name given to Ricky by my sister Chelsey) from his Secret Santa. The Secret Santa thing turned out to be fun and surprising. Anyways, the food brought was scrumptious as usual. We had a mix of asian food and not asian food. [Rickina loves Simple Plan] We also ate cake, in celebration of my aunt's bday. The ham, however, was delicious. After eating, we played with Rickina's new game, which was VERY entertaining. There was much time spent on movie watching. We saw War of the Worlds (some parts TWICE), Batman, and now Pirates of the Caribbean. [Rickina stapled his finger while watching the old, fat lady who-delivers-the-mail pass by at work] Finally, as the clock hit midnight, we rounded up our family for the traditional picture taking, a time of impatience and unwanted cuss words. This year we decided to be on the smart side by using only ONE camera and having that unfortunate person email EVERYONE a copy of the picture. [Rickina is scared of pigeons with no fingernails] And then after pictures, it was time for PRESENTS!!! Rickina probably would have put on here how he received a gift that he had wanted for a while. It's OPERATION (SIMPSONS STYLE). It was fun watching everyone concentrate really hard just to get that small hammer toe or pea brain without setting off the guy's nose. However, the night came to an end as all the tired people left. Rickina and his family are sleeping over because...i don't know. We warned them already that my sisters and I recently bought bright nail polish. I personally think that Rickina would look swell with bubblegum pink nails. [Rickina ate too much ice cream that he had gas the whole night and had to make numerous stops to the bathroom] Timoteo already warned us long ago to never put nail polish after our first incident. When my sisters and I were younger, we put nail polish on Timoteo's nails while he was sleeping. Then we placed one of our most prized Barbies next to him. I don't know what the Barbie was for, but it seemed funny at the time. Anyways, so now it's almost two and I am in some need of sleep. Hopefully tomorrow Rickina will prepare the crepes that he and I set up today. I guess we forgot to make them today with the craze going on today. O ya. Our cousins, such as K-mart, brought their new puppies. They are adorable. There are two of them, one being a boy named Frankie and one being a girl named Angel. K-mart originally wanted the names to be Luke and Leah, which would have been cute. Anyways, this whole blog thing is getting too long and most of your readers are probably bored of hearing my perspective of the day. So I shall end here and leave the rest for Rickina to type. Maybe he'll read what i wrote and delete it all for his readers' sakes. And if you are wondering why there are little comments in these [], they are put there to see if Rickina would find them. Anyways, I am finished. Tonight was a good night. Well toodles for now!
O ya.. below is what my cousin Sean wrote. He's quite the funny one isn't he....
This is s-dawg and im think lin-z is nuts!!!

Also, I don't get Rickina's title at the top. I think he should explain below...

I don't know what's written above, but the real title of this blog should be "Secret Santa; Secret Blogger." It's very late right now. So instead of reading the draft Lind-z wrote, I'll just trust that she's not calling me anything floopy.

Guest bloggers rock,


Tuesday, December 13, 2005

I am Rudolph. Hear me trot. Baaaaaa.

It never fails. It seems like every time Christmas rolls around, I wake up to a nice holiday zit right on my nose. And I'm not talking about those easily poppable whiteheads or the oh-so-squeezable blackheads. No sir, this is one of those everlasting globular zerts that throbs red for days and days, is sore to the touch, and seems to grow beyond the expanse of my nose.

It's almost as if I'm a were-reindeer who transforms into Rudolph every year before Christmas. Santa would approach me in the next couple of foggy days and look into the shiny speck on my schnoz and call me a crater-faced dookie head. Then I'd give him a swift kick to the groin with my hooves and fly away with all the toys.

But seriously, I hate hate hate having implausible pimples at improbable times. That last sentence doesn't make sense, but it sounded intellismart.

What was my point with this entry again? That's beside the point, but anyway, I totally forgot that I have to make an X-mas list this year for the blog. I'm gonna get ya'll so many lizards.

Lackadaisically yours,


Friday, December 09, 2005


'Tis the season for giving... or in my case, the season for not giving a damn.

Confession: I'm just not in a gift buying mood this year. I've got plenty of gifts to get, but for a change, I have no idea what to get anyone. I feel like I've exhausted my supply of gift ideas for friends. I've resorted to asking around. But I've got some gifts down, some gifts arriving via snail mail, and some gifts I'm totally screwed because I still have no idea. But mostly, I've been going shopping with the "one for you, one for me" protocol... and more than half of my shopping is "one for me."

I'm sorry, but good deals equates to me purchase. Let me list the things I've recently bought so that those who are shopping for gifts for me can return what they got for me when I most likely name it.

1. Prince of Persia: Warrior Within for PS2
2. Animal Crossing: Wild World for Nintendo DS
3. Sonic Rush for Nintendo DS
4. Workout bands

And now, a brand new feature for my blog. Wacky Workout Tips gives me the opportunity to share with my readers effective training routines and tips for a better body and a better you.

Wacky Workout Tip #1:

For the ultimate ab workout, try desperately holding in a fart while you do crunches. I tried it today and I've never had my stomach muscles work so hard in my life. So the next time you really need to cut a big fat one, drop down to the floor and do 3 sets of 25. And remember that breathing is very important. Make sure you inhale and expel and exhale.

Dookie is a funny word,

Iron Ricky

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Conquering Laundry Hill

You know, I always have the feeling that I don't have any nice clothes to wear. But it's hard to back that feeling up when you have a huge mound of dirty laundry taking up the entire bathroom floor. Well after three weeks of going through drawers of clothes that I normally would never wear, it was time to do the laundry. But five loads of clothes is a load of hogwash. And having to iron things, such a damn pain. Which is why I've decided to hire a maid. Not so much "hire" as it is "forced into slavery." Any takers?

Yeebers, I don't think I have much more to say. I had a little movie night yesterday. I saw Polar Express which was okay. Nice to look at, but the story was desperate for your attention that it threw every little thing it could at you. And it's got like 50 roller coaster type shots that get really old. I also finally saw Newsies and I thought it was awesome! I had heard some of the soundtrack from Angel Wing Jasmine and couldn't get passed all the New Yorkian accents in the singing. But after seeing the movie and hearing the songs in context, I love the music. All the songs are really catchy. I was gonna try and dress up as Bender next year for Halloween, but I think I'll be a newsboy instead. And given that my chimney sweep costume is very similar (I think people even thought I was going for newsboy), it should be very very easy to pull off. And finally a reason to get suspenders!

I'll leave it at that for today. Keep it nice and short and sweet for ya'll. You can go out and about and do something productive today. Me? I'm going to hang some Christmas lights around our house; something we haven't done here in probably ten years or so.

Carrying the banner,