Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Like Gym Class All Over Again...

I'm just gonna make this quick and easy, so I can get to other things.

Sunday I went with my dad and Timotei to our old Los Angeles house that's being rented out by some people. Anyway, people just dump their big garbage out in the back planter, so we (I don't know why we had to do it exactly) had to clean up the crap. There was a whole lot of crap.

So we loaded all these wood planks, rusted gyms, and discarded cabinets and crap into trash cans and the truck and cleaned out all the weeds.

Quick realization: Granny M is such a trooper. She was there with us and she did more work than I did. She just went in, hammered things out, cut out weeds and plants... EVERYTHING! She even got bruised up, shrugged it off, and went back to cleaning. Man. Making us under-80-year-olders look bad.

I don't normally encourage raising rent on tenants, but those f***ers have it coming to them. Make us do all that crap.

Anyway, that night, Angel Wing Jasmine and I went to Downtown Disney to see The Rundown. It was pretty funny (Seann William Scott is funny as usual and The Rock is a pretty good action star [though sometimes his acting is stiff as a monkey hard-on]).

Yesterday did nothing.

Today, I went to Santa Monica Pier to hang out with AWJ. We first walked down the pier (it was flippin' cold) and then to 3rd Street Promenade for lunch. I had crappy New York Style Pizza. Let me tell you, no one beats New York Pizzaria.

After we got back, and were assaulted by many bums, we did some rollerblading down the coast. It was fun. Then we did a little skateboarding.

One small detail: When we were rollerblading, we passed by Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. That white guy with the white hair and the vampire... uh... I don't watch Buffy. But AWJ recognized him. He was chatting with a bicyclist while taking a break from rollerblading. Thought that was pretty neat.

We then walked down to the Muscle Beach section and tried a few things. I climbed the rope (which was pretty easy and fun, but scary once up there), we played around on the rings (I was trying to do stuff from my old gymnastics days, but couldn't), tried to swing down a line of rings (but we were too short and don't have monkey arms), and swung on a set of swings. AWJ got some serious air. I however couldn't get that high for some strange reason. It seems like it was easier when I was in elementary school (though I was smaller back then).

After that, we got tired and I got extremely drowsy, so she drove me home.

And now here I am. No plans for the rest of the night. Maybe I'll eat something. And... I'm done! Thank Blog!

Too tired and lazy to think up anything remotely... f*** it,



Friday, September 26, 2003

The Life of an Unemployee

I don't even think that's a word: unemployee. In fact, I'm pretty damn sure that it isn't a word. But it works, I think. If you can be an employee... then what are you when you aren't employed; an unemployee.

Okay, that was the biggest waste of time you've ever read. So I'll skip to the point.

These past 3 days have been anything but productive. I wake up, get ready to go nowhere, play on the computer, watch TV, go to the Oblong's for leftovers, talk on the phone, and then sleep.

With everyone either working or going to school, I'm left to do crap.

Today, after sitting for too long at the computer, I went to get something to eat and then thought about taking Ollie out for a ride. Well, instead, I took a nap. Thus is the life of an unemployee.

I watched the premiere of Friends today and I found it to be incredibly enjoyable. It was basically a laugh-a-minute episode and a throw back to the good times of Friends. Very well done and a great start to the final season. I also saw the show Coupling which I didn't find funny at first, but warmed up to it after a few good jokes. Then at the end, when it all came together, I really gave the show props for being smart and funny. I only hope it can keep going full steam ahead. I just don't see how a show about six friends hooking up can last very long (unless they continually add fresh people to the mix).

I've been working on a few site upgrades to The Routes, mainly adding a few new features, such as a navigation bar that makes it easier to get around the website and a new section to put single pictures up and give quick updates. I'm always thinking of new ways to improve my site. If you have any suggestions or comments, please be sure to contact me using the link "Send Feedback" to the top-right of this page.

One last thing, my elbow injury is fully scabbed and hurts when I extend my arm. It sucks. Alas, thus is the life of a skater. Just how long exactly till I can pick at the scab and be fully healed? And will it leave a scar? I certainly hope so!

Waiting to do anything remotely fun,



Tuesday, September 23, 2003

XXX-ray Cavity Search & a Mouthful of Dr. Ohhhhh

Please pardon me for being especially rushed tonight. I'm pissed. Pissed because I was done with another world-class blogger entry and what happens? THE FREAKIN' SITE SHUTS DOWN AND I LOST IT ALL!!!

So here's the gist of what I wrote about:

I'm pretty sure it's because of the alcohol, but I forgot to mention what I did on Saturday. I took a random trip to The Block in Orange with you know who and we saw Cabin Fever. That movie was funny at first, then gross, then funny, then weird, then stupid, then endless, just like this sentence. So, mixed reviews. There were so many plain ridiculous parts. Like, if you just found out you have a flesh-eating virus eating up your back, wouldn't shaving your legs be the last thing on your mind??? And even if you do decide to shave, wouldn't you stop after you find out that you're shaving over your deteriorating flesh??? Oh no, it all has to be even, right? Pah!

Okay, anyway, today I had a random overdue 6 month check up with the dentist. I hate the dentist. My dentist is what you call a beotch-and-a-half. But, she's on maternity leave, so I had Dr. Oh instead, a young Korean lady who could relate with us baby-faced asians.

So anyway, I don't know if it was the nitrous oxide, but it was all laughs in my room; so much so that my mom heard all the laughter from the next room over. I find that when I'm at the dentist, I become the greatest comedian since Tony Little. I joked around and what not and made my dental assistant crack up. She even said I was, quote, "Hilarious!" That's the greatest review I've ever gotten!

I hate that though. Making friends with the dentist and then making them work on my nasty teeth. It makes me feel guilty and bad. And that sonic pick hurts!

The dentist had one little lecture to give. She told me that I should drink soda through a straw so my teeth don't bathe in the carbonation. I asked her about alcohol and she told me that alcohol is also bad and I should order beer with a straw too. WTF??? Well, I never really drank beer in the first place, but if an educated medical doctor ordered it, then it should be done!

My skateboarding injury isn't that bad anymore. But yesterday, I replaced the bloody bandage with a liquid band-aid. It hurt like a mo fo! Having a scraped up elbow makes you miss the overlooked things in life... such as putting your elbows on the dinner table.

In other news, Angel Wing Jasmine got a new tattoo. It's a shadow of a shark in water on her right arm, just under her other tribal tattoo. One down, many to go.

Picking my scab with a sonic pick,



Monday, September 22, 2003

There is More to Life With Chasing Down Ev'ry Temporary High

A HUGE Sunday for me. Big! Whammo!

Allow me to be concise however, I'm tired as a tired bull. That didn't even make sense nor was the least bit hilarious... that's how tired I am.

Day started when I went down to Riverside. I met Angel Wing Jasmine at her apartment and we went to Mongolian Grill to eat. The mission of the day was to look for a decent and cheap skateboard of my own.

We ate, then went to Sports Chalet (which I normally find expensive) and found a skateboard for $30. It was a brand named "Hobie" and wasn't that attractive a board, but I wanted a board.

So I went to the register and the total rang up to $32.31. I had $31.12 in my wallet, but didn't have the rest. So I asked Angel Wing Jasmine if she had any money. When we put together our money, we had $32.30 (my size jeans too), short by a penny. After joking around and being a dumbass, the clerk gave us a penny (probably to shut us up).

We went to SportsMart for kicks, down the street. Jumping to the point, I found a Mongoose skateboard originally marked at $70, but on sale for the same price as the Hobie. So I bought the Mongoose instead.

We then went to Beaumont (20 miles from Riverside) to offroad some. It was a freakin' blast! There were tons of other dirt bike riders chasing us as we went around the hills. We tried getting through ditches and hills that I thought Monstro couldn't get through, but AWJ sure showed me up. Damn, it was so awesome.

After about an hour, we went to another place to offroad that was at the bottom of a range of hills. When we rounded a rockhill, we caught a glimpse of the most gorgeous view of rolling hills I have EVER seen. It was amazing. I have to get pictures of it next time. We had to take mental checkpoints so as not to get lost as we went farther down the road. We found the spot where Billy Walls practices his freestyle jumps and then went back. It may sound corny, but we were seriously on top of the world.

We then took my skateboard to the "Disneyland" Transportation Hub #1 at UCR and skated around a little. Since I'm trying to do an ollie on the board, I named my skateboard "Ollie."

Anyway, while trying to kick hard on the tail to make the board jump, it rolled away from me and kicked me up into the air. I came down hard face first to the ground and just laid there for a moment. Angel Wing Jasmine came to my aid and then chased down my skateboard. When I got up, I realized I was bleeding at my elbows. I looked at it and it was just a road burn. We went back to her apartment and I realized there was a huge circular wound bleeding from beneath my elbow. I bandaged it and we went off to Margaritaville, San Bernardino.

When we got to the bar, there was no one! We got a few drinks and just hung out. Later on, we played a game of pool (in which we both sucked, but it was fun anyway). Anyway, I had a Scooby Snack to start off while AWJ had a shot of Crown Royale Scotch and chased it down with a Scooby Snack. The Scooby Snacks taste like yogurt or ice cream or something.

After that, I still wasn't feeling it, so we each got a shot of Crown Royale and another round of Scooby Snacks. This was my first shot of hard liquor, so I was a little afraid, but it went down smooth. The bartender, Carrie, who is hot and looks like Christina Aguliera, but hot, poured too much into the shaker (because we asked for the shot chilled), so she let us have the rest (which amounted to 3 more shots). I downed another shot and then took the last one for a total of 3 Crown Royale shots. After that, I still wasn't feeling it much, so we each got a shot of Johnny Walker Black and ANOTHER Scooby Snack. That got me f***ed! I was totally out of it, but having fun with it, and had to piss like mad!

After we talked it up for a while, danced to some songs, complained about Billy Walls, and sobered up, we left and went back to Angel Wing Jasmine's apartment. I rested for a bit, then left and got home.

Bleeding and bruised, but feeling more alive than ever,



Thursday, September 18, 2003

Now There's Nothing Special About Kobe Bryant (Except For That Rape Thing)!

Can I just say something? Well, of course I can.

These past three days have been absolute boredom. They've been boring like a kid cooped up in his house and only occasionally going out to eat leftovers at the Oblong's place... hold up... that's exactly right.

And why? Because Angel Wing Jasmine is hanging out with her brother this week. That means, zero activities for me.

Ask me what I did on Tuesday.


Ask me what I did on Wednesday.


Ask me what I did on Thursday.


Alright. Sorry for those outbursts. I'm just having a small case of cabin fever; stir crazy if you will.

Actually today was pretty fun. Day was sh**, but at 6pm, we went to the Oblong's house for leftover Chinese food. Each time I go there, I take Rionheart's skateboard and try to get better. Today, I did a pretty good job. Went down the driveway that gets pretty good speed. I haven't fallen yet.

Today, I tried to do an ollie (after reading a "how to" guide off the Internet [can you say geek?]). The guide said to kick hard on the tail and keep your legs bent as your go up, then move your front foot forward to guide the skateboard. Okay, how the f*** do you even get the skateboard to jump??? I tried so many times and all I did was hop a little. I think I have to see someone actually do it in like slow motion or something.

Oh well, I really enjoy skateboarding now and really want one. Not sure which to get first now... Aggressive Inlines, Skateboard, or BMX. Anyone know which is cheapest?

Also, when Timotei and I were out there, he offered to teach me how to actually play basketball. I mean, I've played before, shot hoops, yada yada, but never was actually shown/taught how to shoot properly or dribble right. So, Timotei gave me a lesson. I still would probably never play a full on game with people, but I can now shoot so it looks like I know what I'm doing (yet, my precision has worsened).

I have a new hobby. I've taken on a few craft projects while I'm bored. I took one of my favorite riding pictures and scanned it. Then I altered it in Photoshop so that it looks dot matrix-like. Then I printed it out so that it's 20 8"x11" sheets of paper. Now it's a giant poster and it looks bitchin'. I hope to mat them or glue them to canvas or something and mount them on my wall so that it's a giant mural. It's gonna be so awesome.

And my final point, Threat Matrix sucks! The show is too boring for words. I mean, c'mon ABC! I'm trying to lessen my boredom!

Eyeing that gold-digging hotel floozy,



Tuesday, September 16, 2003

Ricky Routes Thoughts and Unnecessary Criticism: Now 32% Shorter and 6% Better!

Do you feel that? That breeze... it's kinda getting cold, isn't it? Well, that's because things have been awfully long-winded here.

Get it? Ehh? Do ya? Do you get it???

Anyway, I've found that I'm blabbing on and on for far too long and frankly, it's boring me. So it must be killing brain cells in each of you also. Can I get an "Amen?"

Therefore, I've decided to cut to the point from now on. No more of this "...and then I got a cup, but the one I got said 'World's #1 Mom,' so I couldn't use it because I'd be lying if I did, but I will eventually get there soon, and then I'll rule the world, but I wonder if I can just leave the Middle East off my property because I really don't like the feeling of flying shrapnel in my eye, and plus, but don't tell anyone, I'm a little racist towards sand, but ONLY because of this one time when I stepped on an hourglass and pieces of glass got wedged in my foot, but now that I think about it, I think it is unfair of me to take my aggression out on sand since it didn't do anything to me... I mean, it was the glass that prevented me from playing that soccer game that Saturday morning and caused us to lose the State championship, not the sand... although glass is made from sand, so I think it is in fact justified for me to hate it, you know? But anyway, as I was saying, I think cherries look like butts..."

See what I mean? Without all that useless detail, these entries will be easier on the eyes, not to mention easier on my keyboard.

So let's see, what did I do today? Well, besides show Angel Wing Jasmine around my cluttered house, absolute crap.

Now 78% lazier and 112% uselesser and 0.832% incoherenter,



Monday, September 15, 2003

Now There's Nothing Special About Tony Hawk!

The weekend went by quick. So quick, in fact, that I'm not even sure what played out on Saturday.

Oh wait. It's coming back to me now. Something about sitting around the house on my lazy ass doing jack crap (and taking them too). But there was ONE shining moment.

Angel Wing Jasmine (whom I'm sure all of you are tired of hearing about) stopped by and took me to The Block in Orange to kill some time. I never noticed just how many good stores there are in that place! We made our way around the complex and I got some Quiznos (Mequite Chicken with Bacon [because bacon makes everything 19% better]) and a Strawberry Tsunami smoothie from Jamba Juice (basically strawberry lemonade which was much too tangy and sweet for my taste).

We went into some of the stores like IS, No Fear, Tillie's, Ron Jon's, and... er... Old Navy and there are so many damn things I want. Which brings up the recurring issue: Finding a Job.

I needs the moola moola moola moola moola moola moola moola.

Anyway, we left there pretty early and I returned home. AWJ had to get ready for her little Billy date. So that left me at home watching repeats of Trading Spaces and that new show Clean Sweep (which is surprisingly boring). Yada yada yada... night over... I went to sleep.

Sunday saw an early rise (haha) for Cousin Spacey's 18th birthday party. I brought my rollerblades and also my helmet and pads because I wanted to take a stab at skateboarding.

Samantha Wu was there, so that meant taking care of the Oblong family dog, Sparky. We took him out walking down our usual path (and by usual, I mean the path we've taken twice before). Long story short, Sparky took a massive dump. Massive. It stunk to holy hell, it was so massive. So I made Samantha Wu pick up the dumplings with useful garbage from a nearby trash can, ala MacGyver. That marked the end of our trail. We headed back, I carried the poop back to the Oblong's house and we disposed of it legally.

After that, we went rollerblading/skateboarding on their tennis court. I strapped on my protective gear and for the first time, really tried to skateboard. And you know what? It's not that hard at all. When you have the goods to take away the fear of falling and injuring yourself, when you take away that vulnerable feeling, you can do just about anything. What had initially prevented me from skateboarding was the wobbly feeling while standing on the board and the fact that you're standing on something with wheels that can easily slip away from you (unlike rollerblades). So I did that for like 7 minutes, learning how to position myself so that I'm stable while turning and trying to change the skateboard's direction by stepping on the tail and turning it. I think I need a skateboard now. I'm gonna try an ollie one day soon.

We (Agent J, Agent K, and I) continued rollerblading after for a long while. I discovered, by accident, a new way to turn around that gives me more speed. I put my left foot forward and my right foot behind and extended to the left, which spins me in a circle. Then I just jump and kick the blades around so that I'm skating backwards. It looks kinda cool and actually feels like a pro trick, but I'm far from that. I gotta get me some aggressive inlines first. Then I can tackle some grinds. I think I'm gonna build a skatepark for myself.

One last thing of note: When I got back home, I took a shower and found that a rash had broken out across my chest and back. It's gone today, but I'm not too sure what caused it. Right now, I'm kinda thinking that Sparky might have something to do with it. But then again, I was sweating like two strangers on a blind date getting mauled by a bear. So it could have been the sweat.

Drinking a Sex on the Beach with a splash of bacon,



Friday, September 12, 2003

Twice the Riverside... Thrice the Smell

I'm catching up. Cut me some slack will'ya?

Thursday, not the band, I was relaxin' like an ant doped up on Smirnoff when, at around 4:00pm, Angel Wing Jasmine asked me if I could give her a ride to pick up her car which was in the shop. I, of course, said I would, got ready, took a quick dump, and then headed on out the door...

...and right into traffic! Oy vey.

So, I sat in it, belched out my tunes, yelled at some idiot drivers, and finally reached the stench-filled dirt mound known as Riverside.

I drove her to the Toyota dealership where her truck (Monstro) was. It turns out that Monstro needed even more extensive car tinkering (something to do with algae), so she couldn't have him back till noon Friday. Soooo, Toyota comped her a Rent-a-Car...

Angel Wing Jasmine felt completely miserable in her maroon Chrysler Sebring. The car looked like an old person car. Seriously though, I'm sure it smelled like "old" too.

Anyway, she treated me to Capone's where I got a Calzone (which I called Calizona) filled with bell peppers, canadian bacon, and mushrooms. It was flippin' good!

Later on, I drove home and watched some 24 till the wee hours of the morning.

Friday brought about a return trip to Riverside at 1:00pm. Angel Wing Jasmine was feeling very antsy cooped up in her apartment and wanted to take some frustration out on some dirt bike riding and jumping.

But first, I needed a haircut. My sides were growing out too long (I can't stand hair that's longer than 1.5 inches). But first, I had a little adventure washing my face. I got up at around noon and staggered toward the bathroom sink. I brushed my teeth and then washed my face. While I was washing, I set my elbows on the counter to support my head (because I was tired). Little did I know, the soap and water was running down my arms and creating a puddle of junk under my elbows. Well, long story coming to an end, I didn't notice my elbows slowly inching toward the sink. Suddenly, I fell. My knee hit the cabinet doors, my head came 2 inches away from hitting the faucet, and my left arm hit several bath products off the counter. I told you Death was after me!

Okay, so back to my haircut... I cut it myself, just around the sides. At first, it really sucked. It wasn't in any form of a line and the blending was crappy. I'd ask Timotei if it looked already and he would tell me what I had to fix. After 2 more tries, Timotei just fixed it for me. Turned out pretty good and I saved $14 and a trip to those damn chatty hairstylists.

Now, after the haircut, I had to take a shower to was the fallen hair off. When I was using the bar of soap, I suddenly had a sharp pain in my palm. It was a short loose strand of hair stuck in my skin, splinter-style. It took about 5 minutes to pull that sucker out and it hurt like a can of tuna thrown at a goose and smashing its skull. Yes folks. That much.

Alright, so it was off to Riverside. By now, I know the routine...

Merge onto the 60, pass the 15, dry heave, scoff at the Circle Inn Motel, dry heave, check that doors are locked, exit Blaine, ignore homeless couple, arrive at AWJ's place.

We immediately left to go riding, but it took us about 90 minutes to get her bike from the storage place. We went to The Wash again.

She hit jumps galore. She was determined to ride full force and even though she didn't give it her all, she did improve a lot in her jumping. I got on the bike twice (only twice because I was tired) and achieved three objectives:

1) I started the bike up without jerking forward violently
2) I stood up while riding
3) I hit a small mound and got some air

Next time, I'll actually intentionally attempt to jump the bike. Also, I want to try switching gears while standing up. The bike goes so fast when in 3rd gear, so it's really kinda scary.

After about two hours, we headed back. I wanted a smoothie, so we stopped at Juice It Up!

Quick story... AWJ dropped me off in front of the juice place and I went in. She said she was going to wait near the bank (just at the end of the complex) till I came back out. So I went in, got my Razzle Dazzle, went outside and decided to go meet AWJ at the bank. I went down there, but she wasn't there, but I saw her parked way across the parking lot. So, because of construction, I walked all the way around to meet her. Well, right when I was about to cross the last curb to get to Monstro, she pulls out of the lot and makes her way back to the juice place. Crap. So, I make a huge circle and head back to the juice place. At a fence blocking access to construction, I yelled to get her attention. I finally did and ran and got into the truck. I made what was an easy task a big long ordeal. I should have just waited.

Soooo, I helped her bring some gear in and then said my goodbyes. When I left the apartment complex, there was a group of three girls standing in the guest parking lot. One of them came to me and started blabbing about buying 4 weeks of the LA Times to support any school in the surrounding area. Like I give a flying crap!

Since I didn't have money, I just said, "Sorry. I'm broke right now." That little hussy was so damn persistant, she then said "All you need is a credit card!"

Yeah, like I was about to give her my freakin' credit card number. She then showed me the different colored papers she had and then put her clipboard on the trunk of my car! What a friggen bitch dude! You don't do that!!! So I got pissed and said, "No," just as her other friends ran into the gated apartment complex. Then I said, "You'd better catch up with your friends," to which she grabbed her clipboard and blubbered away.

I hate that city.

Making it my mission to kill off fundraising,



Wednesday, September 10, 2003

New Shirts, No Shoes, Snotty Service

I've been reading my poem from Sunday over and over and I can honestly say that I'm feeling better. So rest assured you two... I'm going to be alright.

On Sunday night, I talked to Angel Wing Jasmine who assured me that she would do everything she could to make me reach what I feel to be the best of my ability. I'm sure I'll take her up on those offers in the near future.

Monday afternoon saw a trip down to Riverside for some clothes shopping with AWJ. When I got to her place, she gave me many LBZ stickers, some cereal, and some hard copy photos of my very (very) first ride on her dirt bike. Those will be on the site soon. Then she showed me the LBZ banner that her boyfriend jacked for her at one of his shows (and he autographed and personalized it).

Then, we took off to go to the Tyler Mall where I was dead set on buying a new look that reflected a more "going-after-life" side of me. I ended up buying two shirts from Pac Sun (a blue Element shirt and a gray Volcom shirt).

At the mall, I realized that there's nothing better than building your own meal at Mongolian Grill (aka Genghis Khan). The noodles are awesome and just absolutely grubbin'. When you go, just make sure you pile on the pork and beef, bean sprouts, onions, mushrooms, bell peppers, and spicy sauce. Oh god. I'm salivating.

After the mall, we ran a few errands, bought a few stuff from Target, and then headed back to Angel Wing Jasmine's apartment. I didn't stay long there. She was expecting a call from her man BILLY WALLS, so I fled the scene and hurried home.

No one was there. They had all gone to the Oblong's home, so I unloaded my shirts and purchases and drove there for dinner. The only really notable thing that happened was when Em got some juice from The Missy Elliot Girl and when she went to drink it... SPLOOOOSH! The juice fell through the open lid and soaked Em. It was sad, unfortunate, and cute. She was fine though.

Tuesday brought about another day of buying things. First on the list was the 24 Season 2 DVD set, so Timotei and I ran to Best Buy and bought it. Then, because I wanted to buy a shirt from Hollister Co., we went to the Brea Mall. I bought that shirt (and the cashier was hot too... named Adia) and we went to Pac Sun to find some more shirts. They had a "Buy 2 Get One Free" rack, so we spent forever finding three shirts. I got a Vans black shirt. Also of note, we ate Mongolian Grill for lunch!

When we got home, I popped in the 24 special features DVD, watched some of that, ate dinner, then went online to find Erico Suave. He wanted to buy some Abercrombie & Racist Bitch cargo pants and the Sleeping Beauty and Family Guy DVDs, but needed company. I volunteered, even though that would mean ending my day the exact same way it started (Brea then Best Buy).

Long story short, we got to A&F and I realized that I really can't stand their clothes anymore. It's so plain and dull and way overpriced. The workers there aren't at all welcoming or helpful either. They're freakin' snobby and "too good" for us blokes. They're also so damn self-smug in there, thinking everyone wants to wear their shiz, but they can go to hell for all I care. (Yes, I know Hollister Co. is a division of A&F, but the shirts are at least affordable).

Anyway, when we got back to homebase, we learned that Princess Karlita was driving around aimlessly at our old high school in her new Hyundai, so we went to go join her for a bit. When we got there, we met up with Princess Karlita and went onto campus. There were cleaning guys around the school, but they didn't mind us walking around. We reminisced about times past: about how we hated Mrs. Bitch Braveroff; about how we hogged up an entire planter for lunches; about how we spent long hours cooped up in the Publications classroom to finish yearbook and newspaper spreads.

When we made a complete round of the school, we reached the gate we came in from and found it locked. The cleaning crew was done and didn't wait for us (not like they should though). So we had to jump the fence. Erico Suave and I cleared the fence no problem, but Princess Karlita being the sheltered spoiled princess she is :-) couldn't exactly scale the chain links ala Spider-man. So the Princess handed me her slippers and we held both her legs and she came over the top... then we lowered her down. It was quite an adventure, worthy of a teenage-angst follow-up dramatic movie.

Anyway, I'm tired now and have the hiccups, so leave me be. Sorry for boring you all to tears with this entry. I'll try harder next time to entertain.

Wondering what I'm gonna do to get rid of these hicc-- BLAARRRRRRRAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!,



Sunday, September 07, 2003

An Evening Poetry Break

Down The Taken Path by Richard Mar

Times like these I'd like to forget,
Where jealousy is everywhere I look
And I regret the decisions that have
Led me to this life that just seems wasted.

I feel I've misplaced my steps one way
Or another and didn't amount to my best.
I wonder if I should have said yes at a crossroad
Where it seemed just too difficult
To try. I should have tried.

So now, when everyone is discovering new wonders
And more about themselves and what they can be,
I pulsate with envy
And ask myself why?

Watching my step only made me more fragile
And while I double checked, I lost
Time amounting to wasted life, for what?
A flawless shell with an undeveloped soul.

A Most Unusual Midday Report

Have I mentioned how boring I am?

There are times like right now when I just want to pack it up and move to Texas (and meet Chuck Norris) or Minnesota (I saw Fargo - it seems like a nice place). I'm just so sick of being sheltered and whatnot. I mean, I haven't really ever done anything with this life of mine.

Yesterday, I was evaluating my riskiness factor based on injuries to my body. Well, let's see... Besides a stubbed thumb while playing a basketball game at my local Chuck E. Cheese's (the kids version no doubt), I can't remember a time where I was ever seriously injured. Hell, I've never been seriously injured. Never had a concussion, no broken bones... NOT EVEN A FRACTURE OR SERIOUS SPRAIN! What is that???

Gee, the most I've gotten is a callous rip on my hand when I was in S.C.A.T.S. Actually, the only thing injured on me are my eyes from excessive television viewing and internet surfing. Someone please slap me.

Screw this man. I'm just tired of taking things so carefully. I need more risks. I need to take more chances. Everyone's telling me that riding a dirt bike is "too dangerous." Screw that! So what??? Maybe I'll just sit in a plastic bubble all my life and sit at my office job down in Los Ange-- NAY-- down in Chino Hills (because Los Angeles must be "too dangerous" as well!)

Anyone want to join me sky diving? Let's just live life and if something should happen, so be it! At least you didn't die a slow agonizing death by carpal tunnel syndrome.

Epiphanastically yours,


An Early Edition with Some Breaking Thoughts

Sunday morning. I just woke up like 10 minutes ago with something fresh in my mind.

At around 1:30am this morning, Angel Wing Jasmine called the cell and had some huge news. She officially broke up with Mr. Margaritaville (so expect that name to never show up on The Routes again). After many months of fighting, making up, fighting, making up, fighting, making up, fighting, making up, fighting, making up, fighting, making up, fighting, making up, fighting, making up, fighting, making up, fighting, making up, fighting, making up, fighting, making up, fighting, making up, fighting, making up, fighting, making up, fighting, making up, fighting, making up, fighting, making up, fighting, making up, fighting, making up, and Care Bears, she finally cut the cord in a pretty sour ending. But I don't think she wants me really talking about that, so I'll move along.

Now she's seeing a Pro-MotoX rider. I know, you're probably thinking what I was thinking (WHATTT??? Is this for real?) I'll reveal his name another time, but as she was talking about how nice and great he was, I got mixed feelings. It's absolutely amazing that she's getting with this guy. She can get backstage on some shows, stand in the pit to support her man, go to crazy LBZ parties, but that probably means less time hanging with me. Yeah yeah, that sounds rather selfish, but that's what I'm thinking.

With Mr. Margaritaville, it always seemed like she had a better time when away from him and hanging out with me. But I seriously have a hard time believing that this will be the case with Pro-Boy.

It's not just some ordinary guy this time. It's like a celebrity... and how do I compete with that???

I guess I'll just have to wait it out. Meanwhile I'll practice my backwards blading and move into jumps and stuff because that's the only sport my parents will let me do without medical insurance. Actually, I'd better not say anything or they'll take that away too.

I am so damn boring.

Wondering, "so why am I waiting, this time that I'm wasting?"



Friday, September 05, 2003

My Shoulder is Killing Me and How I Almost Died

The day after riding isn't very fun. I was fricken sore. I mean from head to toe in pain. It sucked.

But as is my new motto: If it hurts you, it only makes you stronger.

Yesterday, I went to Disneyland with Angel Wing Jasmine. Man, I can't remember why I EVER went to Disneyland during the summer. Immediately after Labor Day, BOOM, no more crowds. The park was empty and it was our plan to ride everything that we normally wouldn't be able to because of the horrendous lines.

My soreness was rapidly disappearing, but my shoulder was still proving problematic. It HURT!

Anyway, we went into DCA first and went on Soarin' Over California. Quick story: The line was like 10 minutes long. We got our row assignments and the preshow was ending, but for some reason, technical difficulties prevented us from riding. We were then moved to the other theater. All in all, we spent an hour at Soarin'. That sucked. But we did get to see Jon Voight cut in front of everyone and get seated in the coveted B1 section. Old fart.

After that, we went to Disneyland and rode Indy, Pooh, Big Thunder Mountain, Alice, Matterhorn, Small World, Roger Rabbit, Snow White, and Pinocchio. Each ride had very little to no wait.

So if you're going to Disneyland, go when everyone else has to go to school and work because there's no better time to go.

We got back early last night, so I spent the rest of the day putting up the new Route on my site. Check it out!

When I woke up today, I quickly heard the news about the accident at Disneyland. A train vehicle on Big Thunder Mountain derailed at the end of the first drop. One person died and others injured. I can't help think that that could have been me, since I had ridden the ride just 17 hours before. But the families of the victims have my condolences.

And who knew? The Debster's warnings about roller coaster rides were right. Go figure.

Escaping Death's master design... now he's after me,



Tuesday, September 02, 2003

Did She Say to Grab the Clutch... or my Crotch?

What has two wheels, two legs, and goes vraam... brawww... brawwww... ehawwww... ehaa... ehaa... putt... putt... putt... putt... putt...?

Nope. Not an ADHD kid in a wheelchair.

It's yours truly on Angel Wing Jasmine's KX 125 dirrt bike!

That's right! Today marks one of the most fun days in recent memory. Here's how it played out:

The day started with Jamie & Danny waking me up at 10:00am, just in time to hear a disturbing discussion about how herpes can occur on your forehead and the recap of their entire show. Then I woke up and took a dump. After that, I bypassed the shower because I knew I was going to get dirrty anyway and surfed some websites till 11:30. At that time, I phoned Angel Wing Jasmine and asked her what I should wear to go riding. She told me to wear jeans that I don't mind getting dirrty and a shirt that I don't much care for. So I grabbed an outdated Quiksilver shirt and put it on, and also brought my favorite pair of Quiksilver jeans (because even if it got dirrty or ripped or faded, I figured it would only improve the look).

So I made my way down to Riverside and it was as smelly as ever.

When I got to Angel Wing Jasmine's apartment, we decided to first walk to Juice It Up! where I bought a very reliable Razzle Dazzle smoothie. However, drinking it made me feel sick (I think it had something to do with the shredded roof of my mouth and the extra sensitive gums [due to eating plenty of cereal on previous nights and burning my mouth on boiling hot tomato sauce just yesterday, respectively]).

ANYWAY, I'm getting sidetracked, but after we got back from Juice It Up!, we drove to the "Disneyland" lot (Transportation Hub #1) of UCR where there is PLENTY of room to rollerblade. No one parks there around this time of year and the ground is very smooth. Perfect blading conditions.

So we biked ass and I did my thing and Angel Wing Jasmine did hers (with style, I migh add). The thing I was excited about was that I got down skating backwards. Well, not very well, but in the past (as mentioned before), I've landed on my butt trying to skate backwards. But today, I got it down. And even though I can't skate very fast going backwards, it's still a major deal for me. Also, Angel Wing Jasmine and I were doing some jumps; just on the street, but jumping nonetheless.

She also gave me some cool stickers to slap on my new helmet. One is a Vans sticker that went on perfectly. The second one is an FMF sticker, but that one got all bubbly, but it works.

ANYWAY! After rollerblading under the noon sun for nearly an hour, we drove back to her place and chilled till 3:00. Then we changed, grabbed our gear, and made our way to The Wash, an off-road sandy piece of land with a whole mess of the biggest f-ing ants your mom's ever seen this side of the Sierra Mountains.

Mind you, this was also my first time really off-roading. I didn't know it was so... bumpy. But I rolled with the punches and maybe even dry-heaved a little.

Okay, so first Angel Wing Jasmine unloaded the bike (with very little help from me) and then she showed me the fuel line switch, the choke, the throttle, clutch, gear shift, nipples, and brakes. She started it up, which is a complicated process, and then did her thing. Then she let me try.

The process reminded me of operating the Casey Jr. Circus Train at Disneyland. There's a very specific proper procedure that you have to follow in order to go. And they're both fun!

So, she had me get on the bike and crank her up. After about 2 or 3 failed attempts, I finally got it started. Then she taught me how to start moving in first gear and to my surprise, I GOT IT! I went putting around in a giant circle and it was really really cool! It's like riding a bike if you're lazy. It's so great.

So after that, and a small break between rides, she taught me how to shift gears into second and eventually third (because I was feeling daring). Angel Wing Jasmine let me wear her helmet and goggles too because the dust was getting in my eyes and I didn't want to die.

(BTW, AWJ's boyfriend, Mr. Margaritaville, joined us early on in the day. So, it was kinda intimidating riding for my first time in front of two of Riverside's best dirrt bike riders [and jet skiiers]).

Anyway, at one point, they told me to just go around this huge circle that took me around a large part of the field. I was game. I took off, shifted into second, then third, and went around the trail. But, the thing is, there are many many different trails to follow at The Wash, so I took whichever one was in front of me at the time. I got a little lost.

I went down a ditch and turned around to return to civilization when suddenly, the bike stalled. This was going uphill too, so I was having a hard time getting it into neutral to start it up again. After about 5 minutes, AWJ and Mr. Margaritaville called out a search party (just them in her truck) to find me. By the time they saw where I was, I finally got the bike started again and was jetting back to our base. Twas very awesome.

And later on, AWJ taught me to stop the bike without killing the engine. I did it once, but the second time I forgot to keep giving the bike gas and it died and then proceeded to fall over on me. With a swift leap and a chop saki roll, I walked away with only a dirrty arm and sand in my underpants.

So all in all, I got a ton of riding time and there isn't a better feeling then hitting a small ditch and bouncing on the bike from the shocks. It's so much fun and I need a bike of my own now.

After about 3 hours of riding, taking pictures and videos, and feeding ants Mentos, we headed back to her apartment and kicked it for a few. I think I was in such of a high that I made like 10 pork jokes; which is odd because usually I max out at 7.

So I drove home after my incredibly Extreme Sports day wanting my own dirrt bike. Plus, I still want a BMX bike. I went home and was bacon my mom for a dirrt bike, but she said that I had to find a job that gives me medical insurance first... then I can get the bikes. Well, I better start cracking on that resume or draw up plans to hold up a Kaiser Permanente.

Plenty of pictures to post in an update soon. I'll keep you posted.

Eating corn to filter out my grubby system,


P.S. Thanks for letting me ride Jasmine!