Friday, September 12, 2003

Twice the Riverside... Thrice the Smell

I'm catching up. Cut me some slack will'ya?

Thursday, not the band, I was relaxin' like an ant doped up on Smirnoff when, at around 4:00pm, Angel Wing Jasmine asked me if I could give her a ride to pick up her car which was in the shop. I, of course, said I would, got ready, took a quick dump, and then headed on out the door...

...and right into traffic! Oy vey.

So, I sat in it, belched out my tunes, yelled at some idiot drivers, and finally reached the stench-filled dirt mound known as Riverside.

I drove her to the Toyota dealership where her truck (Monstro) was. It turns out that Monstro needed even more extensive car tinkering (something to do with algae), so she couldn't have him back till noon Friday. Soooo, Toyota comped her a Rent-a-Car...

Angel Wing Jasmine felt completely miserable in her maroon Chrysler Sebring. The car looked like an old person car. Seriously though, I'm sure it smelled like "old" too.

Anyway, she treated me to Capone's where I got a Calzone (which I called Calizona) filled with bell peppers, canadian bacon, and mushrooms. It was flippin' good!

Later on, I drove home and watched some 24 till the wee hours of the morning.

Friday brought about a return trip to Riverside at 1:00pm. Angel Wing Jasmine was feeling very antsy cooped up in her apartment and wanted to take some frustration out on some dirt bike riding and jumping.

But first, I needed a haircut. My sides were growing out too long (I can't stand hair that's longer than 1.5 inches). But first, I had a little adventure washing my face. I got up at around noon and staggered toward the bathroom sink. I brushed my teeth and then washed my face. While I was washing, I set my elbows on the counter to support my head (because I was tired). Little did I know, the soap and water was running down my arms and creating a puddle of junk under my elbows. Well, long story coming to an end, I didn't notice my elbows slowly inching toward the sink. Suddenly, I fell. My knee hit the cabinet doors, my head came 2 inches away from hitting the faucet, and my left arm hit several bath products off the counter. I told you Death was after me!

Okay, so back to my haircut... I cut it myself, just around the sides. At first, it really sucked. It wasn't in any form of a line and the blending was crappy. I'd ask Timotei if it looked already and he would tell me what I had to fix. After 2 more tries, Timotei just fixed it for me. Turned out pretty good and I saved $14 and a trip to those damn chatty hairstylists.

Now, after the haircut, I had to take a shower to was the fallen hair off. When I was using the bar of soap, I suddenly had a sharp pain in my palm. It was a short loose strand of hair stuck in my skin, splinter-style. It took about 5 minutes to pull that sucker out and it hurt like a can of tuna thrown at a goose and smashing its skull. Yes folks. That much.

Alright, so it was off to Riverside. By now, I know the routine...

Merge onto the 60, pass the 15, dry heave, scoff at the Circle Inn Motel, dry heave, check that doors are locked, exit Blaine, ignore homeless couple, arrive at AWJ's place.

We immediately left to go riding, but it took us about 90 minutes to get her bike from the storage place. We went to The Wash again.

She hit jumps galore. She was determined to ride full force and even though she didn't give it her all, she did improve a lot in her jumping. I got on the bike twice (only twice because I was tired) and achieved three objectives:

1) I started the bike up without jerking forward violently
2) I stood up while riding
3) I hit a small mound and got some air

Next time, I'll actually intentionally attempt to jump the bike. Also, I want to try switching gears while standing up. The bike goes so fast when in 3rd gear, so it's really kinda scary.

After about two hours, we headed back. I wanted a smoothie, so we stopped at Juice It Up!

Quick story... AWJ dropped me off in front of the juice place and I went in. She said she was going to wait near the bank (just at the end of the complex) till I came back out. So I went in, got my Razzle Dazzle, went outside and decided to go meet AWJ at the bank. I went down there, but she wasn't there, but I saw her parked way across the parking lot. So, because of construction, I walked all the way around to meet her. Well, right when I was about to cross the last curb to get to Monstro, she pulls out of the lot and makes her way back to the juice place. Crap. So, I make a huge circle and head back to the juice place. At a fence blocking access to construction, I yelled to get her attention. I finally did and ran and got into the truck. I made what was an easy task a big long ordeal. I should have just waited.

Soooo, I helped her bring some gear in and then said my goodbyes. When I left the apartment complex, there was a group of three girls standing in the guest parking lot. One of them came to me and started blabbing about buying 4 weeks of the LA Times to support any school in the surrounding area. Like I give a flying crap!

Since I didn't have money, I just said, "Sorry. I'm broke right now." That little hussy was so damn persistant, she then said "All you need is a credit card!"

Yeah, like I was about to give her my freakin' credit card number. She then showed me the different colored papers she had and then put her clipboard on the trunk of my car! What a friggen bitch dude! You don't do that!!! So I got pissed and said, "No," just as her other friends ran into the gated apartment complex. Then I said, "You'd better catch up with your friends," to which she grabbed her clipboard and blubbered away.

I hate that city.

Making it my mission to kill off fundraising,