Sunday, September 25, 2005

More Fun With a Side of Creepy

Keeping this short and suite... er... inn.

I spent the entire weekend with Angel Wing Jasmine at the Disneyland Resort. I mean where else would we go?

She came down from her busy body life in Northern California as a working ambulance driver and future EMT/Paramedic/Fire Fighter.

We stayed at the 5-star Jolly Roger Inn where the rooms smell like cigarette butts and look like they’re straight out of a horror movie. The inn, aka motel, is located directly behind Disney’s California Adventure; right next to the Anaheim Convention Center. Judging from inside a car, the walk from the inn to Disneyland doesn’t seem bad at all. In actual reality, the walk is a long green mile. Man, it’s far; especially when your feet hurt from walking all day. But the Jolly Roger Inn was the only hotel with rooms on such short notice. Angel Wing Jasmine wanted the Disneyland Hotel at first, but they were completely booked.

So much happened that I can only give you highlights:

- It must have been Creepy Daddy Daughter Day at the parks because we saw some father/daughter relations that seemed too touchy feely for anywhere non-middle America. There was this one dad who was continually rubbing the shoulders of his little girl; hugging, petting, bear hug pick-ups. Suffice it to say, AWJ and I felt violated.

- We rode Buzz Lightyear Astroblasters four times! I can only max at around 350,000 points/Level 3 rank. How can I score in the millions and not be branded a geek?

- We saw the new Parade of Dreams all four times. At first I found the parade to be too short and quick. These viewings, I thought the parade was awesome. The music is spectacular and the parade stops are impressive.

- There were many “bowlers” at the parks.

- We ate EVERYTHING. Seriously. AWJ made a list of things she wanted to eat (Plaza Inn, Redd Rocket’s Pizza Port, McDonald’s fries, churros, ice cream, dole whips (I had 3 of them), mozzarella sticks, Taste Pilot’s Grill happy face potatoes, Wetzel’s Pretzels, cream cheese pretzels, candied apples, Denny’s). We got everything on that list except for Wetzel’s. I wasted so much food and probably gained a pound! Seriously though. I felt sick.

- It deserves mentioning again: Three Dole Whips! Best damn soft served in the world.

- Some lady made a scene while trying to force her way through a sea of seated people waiting for the fireworks. “Can you move your f-ing a’s for one second to let 2 children through?” Everyone stared at her, but no one moved. “How else am I supposed to get through? There’s no other way!” she oinked. Disneyland workers responded, “Ma’am turn around and use the walkways we’ve set up.”

- For the 50th Anniversary, there are 50 hidden “50 Mickey Ears” around Disneyland. AWJ and I found around 46 of them. We ruled!

So that was the weekend. Sure it tired me out, but it felt like a vacation since I was staying at the hotel. AWJ and I are planning more trips around her busy EMT intern schedule. Soon we’ll be hitting Florida, Vegas, and maybe Hawaii. I tossed Hawaii in there for flava.

Crappin' pineapple goodness,


Thursday, September 15, 2005

Be The Anger Ball

Earlier today, I was all ready to HATE on someone... truly just unload on their buttocks... and then my plan crash landed into a gorge of smoldering stale marshmallows.

Don'cha hate when that happens? Those moments where you work yourself up to a firecracker frenzy and when it comes to finally blowing up, you're tossed a roadblock that kills your momentum.

Or when you pump yourself full of roid rage and rip off your elastic pants like the Incredible Hulk and are ready to just punch someone's freakin' head off when some happy little prissy go-bucky has to soften you up and turn you into the Jolly Green Giant.

Those times that you grab your hair and go AHHHHHHHHHH and grip your fists into a trembling rocket of GO-POW but are led to unclench and skip around like a freakin' sassafras.

The occasions where you're chasing angerly after a morbidly obese dog because it slobbered all over your brother's brand new Geoffrey Bean change purse which contains 57¢ and a coupon for Super Stretch Fruit-of-the-Looms and then a car hits you.

I was an angry anger ball of bonsai ready to kung-fu chop a customer service chap, but became bittersweetly buttered up and beaming by bedtime.

Don't you friggen' hate that?

I also hate build ups that lead nowhere.

Wishing Danika (Missy Elliot Girl [MEG]) a happy sappy birthday,


Monday, September 12, 2005

Jebus Lucky Gusta

I don't even know what that title means. All I know is that I'm incredibly, lucky stars happy that I PASSED THE SERIES 6 EXAM!!!


Here's the thing:

I studied ALL OF SUNDAY... SERIOUSLY ALL OF IT. ALL DAMN SUNDAY and all night last night into this morning and noon... taking periodic 15 minute naps waking up by the alarm on my phone. I went to the testing center early and was having massive dry heaves from anxiety. There was a pool of loogies next to my car as a result. I went in packed to the gills full of investment information. The book provided by the test prep center even contradicted many of what it wrote. I took the test. It was hard.

In order to pass, you need to get 70 out of 100 questions correct; or 70%.

Guess what my score was...

Seventy freakin' percent! I got the bare minimum. 70 questions correct!

I could not believe it when I saw it. They have to calculate your score right in front of you and it's excruciating. And through my fingers, I saw my score.

It was then that I blurted out "I can't believe it!" Luckily everyone else was done testing and I was the only one left in there. On my drive home, I was on such a high. I couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. I've never been so happy to get a C-.

So now my life can resume. I can look back at these last two months of blogs and laugh. Bring on Knott's Berry Farm this Saturday and Lost next week!

So happy. And exhausted. Good night.


Thursday, September 01, 2005

Hell Week... and Puppies!

Holy hell. It's been more than a week since I last posted and it's already September. I hate the fact that I only got in four blogs during my glorious month of August, but I did warn that it would be a skimpy month of writings. I'm also afraid to say that this month will probably follow suite since my test is now eleven days away! Holy toledo indeed!

I'm hoping I just pass this darn thing. I mean, it's not even something that's really necessary for the job. It's just good to have. And speaking of my job. Things this week have been pretty hellish. I've suddenly become overcome with responsibility. Now I know how Peter Parker felt. I'm really working for my skimpy pay by testing up to five different things at once, dealing with foreign affairs, handling competitive analyst inquiries from other companies, and running quotes for agents. It's a wonder I don't just punch myself in the face everyday. I would never want to make myself look puggish.

Speaking of dogs, Nintendogs is going great! I now have three dogs; my shiba inu Nessa (whom y'all met last blog), my labrador retriever Seymour (named after Fry's pup in Futurama), and my german shepherd Scarlet (because of her crimson color and subtle homage to the movie Steamboy). They've all quickly learned an array of stellar tricks. Nessa can even breakdance. She'll serve all ya'll skimpy asses good.

Well, I've got more to say, but I'll spare ya'll the whatever it is you'll save by not reading what I'm too lazy to write. I'd just like to take this opportune time to say happy belated birthday to Charmin and happy anniversaries to all my aunt and uncle homies who celebrated in August and also Mother and Father Routes.

Barely bloggin',