Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Life After Near-Death and Taxes

Today, I encountered near-death experience #59483749.

I'm not sure if I've already discussed the many ways I've come oh so close to dying, but if I have, you're gonna read about them again.

Well, there was that time I was boy scout camping at the Kern River, widely known as one of the most deadly, wild, rapidy, rivers in the US. So there I was with a bunch of scouts playing around next to the raging currents, fishing with nets for crayfish or whatever swims in a river. I'm using my friend's net who tells me, "you'd better not lose my net," to which I reply, "I'm not going to lose your stupid net." And low and behold, the net slips from my fingers and I jump into the river to retrieve it. So there I was, floating downstream until another boy scout helps me out.

Witness example #48382849... I was driving to college classes in my old Mercedes Benz with the shoddy brakes. I was going down the freeway at around 80mph when I suddenly see traffic stopped ahead. I slam on the brakes, but it becomes very apparent that the car won't stop in time before colliding into the cars ahead, so I just take a chance and without looking, turn wildly into the next lane (on a two lane freeway). Luckily there wasn't a car next to me and I keep on driving. There was another time between two traffic breaks, a truck behind me was speeding behind me. Everyone including myself came to a quick sudden stop, but through the rear view mirror, I see the truck still charging towards me. Then I heard his brakes screech as he still approached quickly. He merged at the very last second into the carpool lane to avoid my car (I literally could not see his bumper through my mirror as he swerved to miss me).

There have been other times; being assaulted by skin heads, plane engine catching on fire before landing and even resorting to burning off its fuel, running full force and crashing into the vault during gymnastics, getting scared of a bee on the edge of a cliff at the Grand Canyon and jumping around like a moron and almost plummeting 1,000 feet to the mule manure below, etc...

Which brings us to today. Mother Routes and I left the house on time to get to the train station. We then saw a freight train that would block our path to the station, so we took a detour which takes longer. As I pull into the station, we see the train approaching the platform, so I drop Mother Routes off to get in line and then try to find a parking space fast. The only spot is all the way in the back, so I take it, jump out of the car, and run.

I ran as fast as I could down the rows of cars and suddenly out of the corner of my eyes, I see the car next to me pulling out. It literally came inches away from hitting me before I reacted and jumped to the side, but I kept running. I made the train and after realizing what happened, I became rattled.

So there we have it. I was almost killed right after I finished doing my taxes. This goes back to my March 30th blog. If a car is going to hit me, do it before I do my taxes, therefore I don't waste my time. People just don't pay attention to my blogs.

Life maybe scary, but it's only temporary,