Saturday, January 22, 2005

Ocean's 5

Early this morning, we compiled our team for the heist of the century. The team consisted of Mother Routes, Father Routes, Mr. and Mrs. Wee (I work with Mrs. Wee), and I and the target was an office building in the City of Angels.

Our plan was to park the truck next to the building, scurry passed security, up the elevators, through a locked office door, and take six highly priced office chairs. Then it's back down the elevator, passed the security guard, and into the truck for a grand getaway.

Well, that's how it felt in my head. My work was giving away used chairs that were taking up valuable office space, and somehow for some reason, we claimed 3 of them (Mrs. Wee claimed 3 others). I really didn't want these chairs since they were a big hassle getting them back to The Routes House. But I gotta admit that the chairs are really comfortable and cool.

Yesterday night, we had to finish this 750 piece puzzle of New York that Ellvin Kelvin's girlfriend gave my parents. After about 3 weeks, it was finally coming down to the final stretch where we just had a bunch of blue pieces to fill in the sky. Lemme just say that puzzle's suck ass. I can't see how anyone finds joy in doing them. It's all trial and error and error and error and error and error and error and error and frustration. I hated every minute of doing it, but somehow for some reason, I couldn't stop doing it. So we finished at around midnight.

I'm going to start a new business that sells posters mounted on cardboard and cut to give the impression of a completed puzzle. I think tons of lame asses who like to take credit for completing stuff, while not actually doing stuff, would pay good money to be fakes. I know I would.

Tip of the day: When microwaving Bagel Bites, don't put a paper towel over them. If you do, the paper sticks to the toppings and after you pull the paper off, your toppings are removed with it and you're left with just the bagel.