Hang in there, baby!
I want everyone to close your eyes and think back to your childhood. Blah blah blah the rest of this blog shouldn't matter at all since you should have your eyes shut. If you're reading this, then I know you're a lying bastard and I will never trust you again.
Okay, no seriously. Eyes closed, think back to the day you first learned about hang nails. Remember that little strand sticking right out of the side of your nail and how bothersome it was if you didn't yank it off?
And then remember pulling it off, but in the wrong direction. You pulled it back so that the root became more exposed and started ripping down your finger, rather than cleanly removing it? That was a big mistake.
What's that you're saying? You were never stupid enough to pull the hang nail the wrong way? Hmmm. Well who asked you anyway? You're supposed to have your eyes closed you bastard!