Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Psycho Claus is Coming to Town

Wow, has it seriously been more than a week since I last posted? Humblest apologies.

It's the whole busy shopping season that's taking up all my time, as of late. But no worries, I'm happy to announce that I have COMPLETED my Christmas shopping!

Okay, sure. My announcement isn't as exciting as JK Rowlings' announcement regarding Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince being completed and due out next July. But I try. You know. I try. We can't all be British bitches with kick-ass accents and scribbles on napkins (though I do have some of my best ideas on wads of toilet paper; DON'T ASK!).

All this week, I'm going into work alone since Mother Routes is on vacation. Poor me. But I guess it's good to cut the umbilical. Yeesh, time moves so slow when I'm at work. Work is the fountain of youth, I swear. You sit there and you just don't age. No matter how fast you want those wrinkles to show just so you can get on the train home, they never come. You just sit there and get fat. Those are the rules.

But it's not my fault I'm getting blubbery. What would you do if you sat in a chair for 8 hours and there were Mrs. Field's cookies, almond toffee, See's chocolates, donuts, tins of Hershey's Chocolate, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, taffy, Rice Krispie Treats, and after-dinner cake surrounding you? Run a 10k? Hell no! You're gonna stuff your fat mouth with that crap and like it! So help me god, you'll like it!

It's Christmastime. We all go a little mad sometimes near Christmastime. Me just a little more than others.

I'll be back soon with my second annual Ricky Routes Christmas Gift O'Rama. So make sure you're back here on the 24th for a peek at what we, The Routes family, got you for Christmastime.

Stuffing my stocking and face with crap,

Norman Bates