Monday, May 08, 2006


Two things I forgot to mention about New York.

Numbero juan: I met up with Princess Karlita at Serendipity, the restaurant that spawned a movie about drinking frozen chocolate pudding. We chatted about stuff and more stuff and ate some comfort food (we needed the comfort due to the stuff we were chatting about!). I had a sandwich called The Catcher in the Rye. Unfortunately, it did not have the f-word graffitied all over it. And the sandwich wasn't that good either. It turns out that rye bread sucks.

After lunch, we went to Central Park for a stroll through the zoo and chit-chatted on a park bench. Of course, if you know me, you know that I'm a bird dooky magnet. There've been around 6 times or so where I've been pooped on. And yet... strangely enough, these shit hits have all occurred when I was out with my high school friends. Therefore, it's gotta be them who are the bird crap aficionados!

Numbero toes: On the day we saw RENT, I had a Mango-a-Go-Go from Jamba Juice that I slurped down in about 7 minutes; no brain freeze. Right before they opened the theater to begin seating, Samantha Wu had to use the restroom. Instead of braving the theater bathroom crowd, she used the Burger King restroom across the street. When she came back, we were all set to take our seats when my stomach went blurrroooop! Suddenly I needed to take an emergency dump. I ran to the Burger King where there was a line. Legs crossed, butt clenched, I waited for two largish white girls to finish peeing, I presumed. It was a great non-plan on my part. With women going in first, they would have the toilet seat all dry and polished.

I went into the bathroom (a line had begun forming behind me) and found a toilet that would not stop flushing. At first I felt screwed, but realized that this worked to my advantage. The constant flushing would muffle my toots and eliminate splashing. Well, what a dump I took. I fired on all pistons; one of the worst cases of dooks I've ever had. I tried to expel as much as I could before catching up with the others at the theater.

I knew that I'd have to go again during the show. Luckily I had seen RENT so many times, so I knew which parts were the least interesting and planned my trips accordingly. I went twice during the show; once during "On the Street/Santa Fe" and again during "Goodbye Love." I didn't expect anyone in the bathroom during the performance, but when I went in the first time, there was someone else in one of the stalls. I had to go no matter what, so I went as quietly as I could, but immediately let out a loud thfffffwwwwwtttt! I saw the guy-next-to-me's feet leap from surprise and/or disgust and leave as fast as humanly possible.

Needless to say, I stayed away from smoothies and dairy products in general for the rest of the trip.