Sunday, May 13, 2007


Check out a happy Mother Routes at work.

Actually she was only really happy at the fact that she got flowers at work from Timotei and me, but the ProFlowers we sent her were anything but elegant. These flowers were terrible! Think of the last withering bouquet on a 99¢ Store shelf. You know, the loner last flower set that would be personified in a movie about finding one's true home; The Brave Butt Ugly Little Bouquet. A bouquet that only Phoebe Buffet from Friends would love because it's neglected. That was stuffed into a box and UPSed to my mom. And when she saw them, they were bruised and brown and wilting and looking dry and lifeless as ever. (You can't really tell from the camera phone picture, but trust me; they were fugly.)

So I sent them a letter and here's what it said:

This was my first time ordering flowers online and I have to say it is probably my last. When they arrived, I could not believe how lifeless the flowers were. Most of the roses had brown bruises on them. Many petals had shriveled up. In general, the bouquet looked beat up. Suffice it to say, it was not what I expected from your beautifully posed pictures. These are flowers that would be left behind on a store shelf because NO ONE would buy them.

Hoping they were just water starved, we set them in water and flower food, trimmed their stems, and waited till this morning to see if they'd bloom. The flowers opened up some, but look as bad as yesterday and are beginning to limp.

Just wanted to let you know that I am not pleased with the product I purchased. The convenience was great, but that is useless if the product is terrible. This is especially disappointing after hearing numerous radio commercials claiming that you use the freshest flowers from the field.

Those radio commercials were from Hasbeen Bonaduce. What a freakin' shill.

Well, in what had to have been less than 10 minutes, they responded. And the news was good! They apologized profusely for my disappointment and offered to send me a replacement bouquet. Bad news was, they wouldn't be able to send it till Tuesday, so it misses Mother's Day, but I guess that's okay. I'm just glad because I had really felt I wasted $40 on crappy roses.

For the replacement, I avoided the roses and opted for an assorted bunch. This seems like it'd be impossible to screw up. However, maybe since it's right after Mother's Day, there won't be any flowers left! We'll see how it turns out. If it's good, I'll definitely clear up my feelings towards ProFlowers. But one thing's for sure, their customer service rocks.

Making potpourri,