There's no denying my fondness for large family activities. Each year, my company throws a family picnic usually held at a theme park. This year, at the moans and groans of many employees, they decided to have a genuine old fashioned company picnic at Calimigos Ranch in Malibu.
Since three of us work for the company, we were able to wrangle up 18 tickets total for barbeque and fun. So who went? The entire Martini family (sans a working K-Mart), The Yepsups!, Lindz, Missy Elliot Girl (MEG), Agent J, and of course Mother and Father Routes and Timotei.
The trip out there is long and it isn't necessarily beachside like I figured in my head. It was up in the hills; a secluded piece of heaven that smells more of a 4th grade camping trip than a wedding reception (as advertised). I rode along with The Yepsups! with Agent J while sipping a Robeks Green Tea Sensation smoothie (my third in three days straight and I paid dearly by having my dump come out green. I don't think it's been that color since I was a toddler eating Gerber Spinach & Peas).
When
we finally got there (traffic out the wazzoo), after a quick piss in a stall next to Auntie C who failed to notice the "Mens" signage on the door, 
Agent J and I went to climb the Rock Wall (I got up three times and it's a lot harder than the blokes on American Gladiators made it look) and paddle on the Paddle Boats (in a murky pond swimming with tadpoles and crablike spiders). Five minutes on those waters and we were out of there.Then we grabbed some grub and met up with the others. Mostly it was Agent J and me doing the various activities (including the world's fastest spinning ferris wheel). We ran into my boss and his kids at the Water Balloon Launchers. That was fun. It was weird hearing my boss chuckle at those who couldn't launch the balloons far, but I joined alongside him.
And
to show what a small world this Earth is, my boss's wife recognized Agent K and said "I didn't know your parents worked for this company!" to which he replied "They don't. I'm here with my cousins." Then as she saw Timotei behind Agent K, she realized "WHOAMOTHAWHATTHE?" It turns out that Agent K played soccer for a few months with my boss's eldest son. And actually, my boss and his wife know Razor Ramon and The Debster. So, yeah, that was kinda odd how that worked out, but nonetheless cool.So although it was initially disappointing that we weren't spending time at a theme park for our annual company event, their intentions proved to be worthwhile. The company event coordinators wanted to have our coworker families spend more time together and in forcing us, I had a great time chillin' (wrong word of choice since it was scorching) with everyone.
Sunburnt,
Ricky
