Cell Phone Stalkage

Last week I got a text message from a number I'd never seen before. It read:

Hi

followed by

Hey whats up lol

Wanting to know who it was, I texted back:

Who is this?
Ricky

My default signature bears my name.

A few seconds later, I received this:

Wtf whos ricky?

I didn't like this bitch's tone at all, so I replied:

Consider yourself banned.

I then accessed the Block/Unblock feature on my phone, entered the person's phone number, and clicked "Okay". Exactly 4 seconds later, I received this from Verizon:

Your request was not processed. The command is not enabled or the address is not in your blocked list.

I hate when things don't just work! So now I found myself in a conundrum. I had to successfully block the number before receiving another text or else my plan would have died in vain.

But no, because Verizon sucks. Not long after, I received this from the stalker:

Its joy lol
Its joy-___-

Piece of crap! In hoping this Joy person would just quit texting me, I quit acknowledging her texts by not responding. And that worked... till a few days ago. On Halloween, I received another text:

Hi david lol let me borrow your hat haha

At this point, I realized that I should just straight up say that she's got the wrong person. As much as I think my name would be cool if it were David, I had to just tell it to her head on apply directly to the forehead.

So I texted back You have the wrong number. There is no David at this number.

And it came as a semi-shock when I received Liar -_- as a response. So really peeved now, but still keeping my cool, I told her even more straight up:

Listen, please stop texting this number. You have the wrong person.

And to my relief, she sent me two beautiful words: Ok sorry

The bitch was gone and what a loser too.


Free of pests,

Ricky