Tuesday, December 23, 2008

A Vegas Rundown

I'm supposed to keep my big fat mouth SHUT about what went down in Las Vegas this past weekend, but who am I kidding? I'm a natural born snitch.

It all started when we arrived. But that's obvious. We were the first to arrive because we took the entire day off from work. That left us about 2 hours before anyone else would get there. So I got started with the gambling. I played Blackjack. Some dude next to me was criticizing the way I was double-downing and so I left. But I did leave $25 bucks up. Then I lost it on some stupid dice game called Chuck a Luck.

The rest of our co-workers arrived and we checked into our rooms. They had made a booze stop and so we were fully stocked. But a phone call from room service landed us some free champagne; a gift from a co-worker who couldn't make the trip! It was so nice! AND this champagne was actually GREAT! It was the first champagne I actually enjoyed. It was called J Cuvee Brut 20 and tasted fantastic. Plus it hit us hard after only two glasses. Sweet.

We went to Planet Hollywood to look for a karaoke bar and ended up getting wristbands to get into the club Prive for free. After a quick dinner, we went to the club to get in, but were denied entry. There was a good size crowd in front of the club waiting to get in, and since we had more guys than girls, they couldn't let us in unless we paid to reserve a table or bought a bottle of booze for "only" $375. Apparently the club had too many guys already. My co-worker was all like "No! We were told we could get in for free." They told us there were no exceptions, so not caring anymore, we said "fuck it," turned around and walked away. To our surprise, a manager chased us down and said "We just want you guys to have fun. What kind of deal can I offer you guys? Make me an offer." My co-worker replied "We don't want to buy any bottles or pay for a table. We were told we could get in for free and that's what we want." And so, he agreed and let us in for free.

As we escalated up the escalator into the club, suddenly the club seemed so pathetic chasing down people to get in. When we entered, we saw why he chased us down; the place was dead. We decided we needed a few shots to get into a dancing mood, so we asked the bartender for shots, her choice. She made us the House concoction that looked like Apple Pucker, amoretto, and cranberry juice. The shot was pathetic and, if you can believe it, actually felt like it was sobering us up from our initial champagne buzz. Weaksauce!

So we left that club and gambled a bit back at New York New York. At 4AM, we decided to go to the Hooters casino for 25¢ chicken wings. We ordered 80 wings and ended up eating about half of them.

So we slept and woke up at 10AM. Our plan for the day was to get brunch at the Bellagio buffet, but knowing it takes the goils a long time to get ready, I went downstairs to the roller coaster (the Manhattan Express as it's officially named). For a single ride, it costs $14! The last time I rode this was with Erico Suave when we were in middle or high school. I remember the ride being the worst roller coaster ever created. Being a coaster junkie when I was younger, I knew that developer Togo was known for shitty coasters. They were responsible for the crapfest that was Windjammer at Knott's (the lamest coaster ever to replace a beloved ride [the Soapbox Racers]). But I really wanted to ride it just for the hell of it. So, in order not to get ripped off, I bought the day pass for $25. That morning, I rode the ride and immediately remembered why the ride sucks. It's incredible jerky and rough. A shoulder harness sits on top but functions only to bruise your shoulders and chop at your neck. The only good part is the barrel roll... but it is not worth the pain to get to that one section.

At the Bellagio buffet, I had champagne and the best orange juice this side of the Mississippi. The buffet was good, but I just don't dig "all you can eat" places any more. There's way too much pressure and I hate being so full to the point of discomfort and nausea.

When we got back, it was just about time to ready to see the Cirque du Soleil show "KÁ." We bought killer seats (5th row center) and the show was amazing!!! By far my favorite Cirque show now. I could not believe my eyes.

When the show ended, we ate at McDonald's. Then our group split up. My co-worker's manager got him access to a private lounge at Mandalay Bay, but he was only able to take in a few people. Rather than fight over who gets to go, I decided to hang out with another co-worker at the Gameworks arcade. When midnight approached, I left Gameworks and endured the tourture of the Manhattan Express one last time in the front seat.

After the ride, I went back to the room and called Timotei to see where they were. They had just left for the lounge and told me to meet up with them. They had checked with the club and were being allowed to bring in all of us.

We drank. We smoked cigars. We partied and danced. There was an awkward and angry Bulgarian. The club was a blur, but it was hella fun as hell. There was also the nicest view of the strip I had ever seen. The private club was at the very top of Mandalay Bay, right next to the sign on the building.

Well anyway, I got sick, went back to my room, puked a bit, felt way better in the morning.

We had a quick breakfast at 'Wichcraft and then went home.

Sorry for the rushed ending. I'm kinda tired of telling this story.

Bottom line: Vegas fun. Can't wait to go back!

Clever salutation,