Saturday, January 10, 2004

Dreams Two Dreams

Okay, back on December 21st, I threw out a little blurb about a weird dream I had. Honestly, I forgot about it. Well, the dream seemed really weird and cool when I had it. But as time went by, it just became rather ordinary. You know what that's like, no?

But I'll let you all decide whether it's ordinary or anything but...

So I was at a party and for some reason, two people in front of me were arguing about their holiday pay for some job. Then I looked out the window and saw a friend from high school outside. She had felt that her arms were making her head look big, so she got the bone that goes from her shoulder to her elbow removed and proceeded to wave to me with a shortened stumpy arm. Next to me, a group of kids were singing "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer," but they only knew the first two lines (or thought the first two lines were the only two lines in the song). So it sounded like this:

"Rudolph the red nose reindeer
Had a very shiny nose.
Rudolph the red nose reindeer
Had a very shiny nose.

Rudolph the red nose reindeer
Had a very shiny nose.
Rudolph the red nose reindeer
Had a very shiny nose."

And so on.

Then came the time when I had to poop. I went to the bathroom and pulled out a toilet seat cover from the dispenser. Even though the bathroom fans were blairing, I could still hear the two men fighting over their wages. I was fumbling with the complex nature of the thin paper seat cover, but my poop wouldn't hold. So it started dropping, but naturally made it into the toilet. Like magic it was. (Alright, all signs point to I should have ended this dream retelling a paragraph ago, but what's done is done.) The last part of the dream had me scrambling to wipe an unwipable butt.

Okay. Well, I've said too much. Perhaps one day I'll tell you about the dream where Erico Suave, MacArthur, and I plunged into a lake...

I'll just tell you now. We were going to watch the Cirque show "Varekai" and driving to some obscure place around mountains and such. Erico Suave was completely high off some sort of substance (none to be found on me, for sure) and was constantly looking back to talk to me. Anyway, we suddenly found ourselves flying off a cliff. In the air, knowing we would hit the lake below, we unbuckled our seatbelts and visualized what had to be done as soon as we hit the water. When we hit, it didn't phase us at all. The two doors to the VW Beetle flew open and Erico Suave and MacArthur proceeded to swim out of the sinking auto. It was at that very moment I realized that there is no door for me to exit. So, seated behind the driver, I swam to the front to get out, but Erico Suave, still high, locked the door as soon as he left. So I went out the other door and we all swam to shore. When we got there, thousands of students from the lakeside school came out to spectate. They continued to stare as we made our way through the campus and asked people desperately to use their cell phones, but no one would let us.

Then I woke up.

So, there are my two weird dreams of the past few days. Dreams are fun. They're weird and scary and just damn fun fun.