Wednesday, February 04, 2004

"If God Didn't Want People Eating in Church, He Would Have Made Gluttony a Sin"

Real quick story of a lunch gone terribly well...

I was driving home from Riverside today after picking up my diploma and decided I wanted a much-craved chicken quesadilla from Rubios Baja Grill. I remember eating the $6 quesadilla during college and thinking it was the most delicously well spent $6 ever. Maybe I was just really hungry back then...

So I pull into the Rubios and go in. I was really hungry, but really wanted the quesadilla. So I figured I'd get something else along with it. Two fish taco combo? Too much. I'd just settle for an extra burrito to fill the lunch void. After the cashier totaled the full $10 meal, I forgot that I needed a drink to wash it all down. He said he'd just give me the drink, but he forgot instantaneously.

When the food came, I realized that it was a LOT of food. A business woman sitting at a nearby table watched with a weird look on her face as I passed and sat down behind her; as if she were thinking, What a fatty. I decided I could eat it all (including the chips). Anything is edible when doused with salsa. Fresh salsa.

So I tackled the burrito first. Muy bueno! Very very good! No-- Great! It was really good. And green salsa is also very delicious. After, I was feeling kind of fullish, NOT foolish for buying all the food. Then I started taking in some chips, but immediately realized I was filling up on useless chips.

So then I began to consume the long-awaited quesadilla con pollo. On first bite, it tasted kinda funny and also smelled weird. Like the chicken had been grilled too long and thus had a burned taste. The smell was that of dog food. Seriously. But I'm not Mexican so what do I know? When I got to the third quesadilla slice (of four), it really (and pardon my language) tasted like sh**! TOTAL SH**! Like I stuck a piece of cow dung in my mouth, chewed on it, got some stuck in my teeth, and then realized I was eating crap. It was NASTY. I still convinced myself that it was just a little burned, but one particular bite was just way too much for me and I spit it out. I quickly crammed the rest of the pedo queso down my throat and the aftertaste was absolutely disgusting. I needed a drink to wash down the taste, but damn that cashier!!! I ate some chips, but that didn't work.

I got up quickly and went down towards Starbucks to get a drink, but stopped at the new smoothie place to see what they had. A mango smoothie caught my attention, so I went in and got it. It was pretty good! I'll be going there more often now.

So that's the end. The moral of the story is that I ate 2 full meals at Rubios and a "meal-replacement" smoothie... ALL FOR LUNCH!

I'll be writing my next blog from the toilet.

Preparing to poop out the poop flavored chicken,