Wednesday, October 06, 2004

(Worst) Hiccup of Life

I HATE this! By the way, this blog contains profanity, so if you're younger than, say, however old Agent K is, stop reading here. In fact, just ignore this entry and scroll back up to my next update entitled "Fluffy Bunnies and Their White Fluffy Scruffy Tails Poopsy Whoopsy."

Okay, back to my frustration to the ninth degree! For the past few days I've had to poop. And then every time I go to the toileta, I experience what I like to call "Shit Tease." You know what I mean? I know I have to crap, it hurts like I have to crap, the crap is knocking at my door, and BAM! NO CRAP!!! It pisses me off! (Heh... pisses)

Well, it's always a bad start in the morning and, well, today... it only got worse.

Work went slooooooooooooow for some reason (this past week has been pretty dreadful). We went to the Turkey Basket for lunch (it's a neat little café located next to that tallest building in Downtown Los Angeles). Anyway, after lunch, I coughed wrong and some saliva or something went into the wrong valve and I had the worst hiccups I have ever had in my life. It was so bad, it hurt and burn and stung ever 6 seconds or so. I had to cope with it for the bus ride to work till I could get my hands on a cup of water. The trick to getting rid of hiccups, I learned in the Boy Scouts, was to drink a glass of water upside down. It totally worked... until I choked on my water and it started up the hiccups again. But it hurt. I wanted to kill myself, it hurt so bad.

And then something creepy. While we were waiting for the bus to get back to work, a seemingly homeless black man was mumbling something under his breath, standing near us. We tried our best to ignore him and not make eye contact. I was busy with the hiccup sitation, so I figured he wouldn't bother me, since I was already bothered. But for about 2 minutes and up until we sped away on the bus, the homeless man mumbled and stared at me. Like he was freakin' cursing me or something. That freaked me out completely, but I've since forgotten about it. See? What was I talking about? I dunno. Certainly not some freaky ass black guy stalker voodoo psycho.

But on a brighter note... I have tickets for a midnight showing of The Incredibles on November 4th! God! I can't wait! The special screening is at the El Capitan and includes a costume contest, coffee, pastries, popcorn, drink, reserved seats, and a commemorative dated certificate! Yee-haw!

Olay! Olay! Olay!

Ricky Martin