Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Foul Bowels

I love to start stories with pleasant news and then lure readers into just the thing they never want to read; especially when they're probably eating some nice Jello pudding at the computer.

But let's just get to the nitty gritty (or should I say "nutty" gritty). I'm kidding. It's nothing like that. No, I didn't have corny or nutty poop (nor sesame seedy). I'll save that story for another time. At work, I had to take this masterful dump and Lord knows that I only take a No. 2 at work if it's already basically half way out my patoots.

So there I was, in one of the three toilet stalls in the bathroom. Then, two co-workers entered, talking about stuff. I held my stance waiting for them to leave, but noticed them taking seats in the other two stalls. It was actually my first time involved in what is known as "A Triple Shit."

Now, when I'm on a public John, I try my damndest to not make a toot. I'll hold that sucker in till I'm all alone before I let it crank. Apparently my talkative co-wo's don't believe that same philosophy, "Toot around others as you would like to be tooted on" (I think that's how it goes). These two guys next to me were unleashing every possible fart you can imagine; high pitched, low pitched, long pitched, short and concise, watery, peep, splattered, quacky, you name it.

It goes without saying that I wasn't part of that Triple Shit for long. I had to break the trio and run for fresh air.

Now, for that pleasant news. I suppose it's only pleasant for those who bought tickets with me. After 4 months of planning, I've completely completed the Wicked Group Ticket transaction with the nice people at the Pantages.

We're off to see the wizard!

So everyone has paid except for Prisoner Tribbiani who will pay me when he's back in California. There are a ton of us going, so hopefully I'll get a big group shot in front of the theater. And I really had a great time organizing this. It was pretty easy. I think I'll be organizing a group outing to see Prisoner Tribbiani when he tours the country in Thoroughly Modern Millie!