Thursday, August 18, 2005

Spider Solitaire

If you've been reading up on my blog and have been diligently taking notes (by the way there will be a quiz next week), you know that I have no mercy for those poor spider souls who dare venture into my room. Once they step one foot into my domain, they suffer a most terrible fate.

Thus was the case this past couple of days for a couple of spiders.

Three days ago, a spider was spotted in the vicinity of the lower east corner of my room. Unhappy as a clam, I lunged for my old beanie baby protector container and placed it over the spider (whom I had named Aragog) on the ceiling. After a grueling waiting game, it finally investigated the bottom of the barrel and I capped the container, trapping him. He then sat on my bathroom counter for the next two days.

At the end of Aragog's solitary confinement, I found yet another spider on my ceiling. This one (whom I called Jimmy) was bigger and uglier. I took another beanie baby container and trapped it in the same way as the former.

Then, I wondered if Aragog and Jimmy would be interested in making friends, so I dropped Aragog in with Jimmy and the results were anything but chemistry.

Jimmy would frequently lunge for poor Aragog and Aragog would race to the top of the container (as Jimmy was too big and heavy to climb up the slick plastic). But later on, Aragog returned to the bottom and stood next to Jimmy. Then, in a zip of quickness, they both leapt at one another and were entangled in a giant ball of sixteen legs.

I had never seen two spiders fight in this way. I once trapped a spider and an ant under a My Little Pony box and watched as the spider ran away from the ant, terrified for its life. It even banged on the cellophane, pleading to escape the ant's wrath. True story.

I tried to channel a Footlocker employee and break up the two by shaking the container, but it seemed as if one had the other in a bite hold (which is clearly in violation of the Ultimate Arachnid Fighting Code of America).

The next evening, I investigated and found that Jimmy had indeed killed Aragog. Aragog looked dried out and half eaten while Jimmy appeared well-nourished, yet self-smug. I was pissed at Jimmy and decided that making him suffer was the only way to avenge Aragog's death. So, I shook up the container to knock him out. He appeared twisted and tangled at first, but walked away seemingly unharmed. But later on in the evening, during a break from studying, Jimmy looked as dried up and dead as Aragog.

I had done Aragog proud and both had proper burials at sea.

Hoping you glanced over the fact that I had beanie babies and My Little Ponies,