FedUp With FedEx
I'm suprised at how well the name FedEx lends itself to being hated, as evidenced in the title. Also, this blog contains massive amounts of swearing and the act of getting things off my chest.
FUCKIN' FedEx! They were to deliver my new software today, of all days, a glorious Saturday when I'm actually home to sign for the package and what happens??? They come at 9:34am, while I was awake, but I hear no doorbell or knocking. Abso-fuckin-lutely nothing. The package needs a signature upon delivery and the next time they'll try is on Tuesday. Well fuckin' shit on me ya damn bastards. Thanks a fuckin' lot. Now I'm screwed. Don't even try on Tuesday or Wednesday because no one's gonna be home. Maybe I should hire a maid for the day just to sign for my fuckin' package.
Oh yeah, and I called FedEx to ask them about delivering next weekend, but I got routed to some guy in Texas who couldn't speak fuckin' clear English! What the hell??? How come I couldn't understand a goddamn word he was saying!!?! Probably because he has a fourth grade education, likes to be impaled in the butt by bulls, and voted for Bush.
Well, if anyone has dealt with something like this with FedEx before, let me know what you did after the "Final [Delivery] Attempt." I managed to understand the Texan guy say that the package is held for ten days at their facility before it's shipped back to the deliverer, but what the hell can I do about that? Can I go to the facility to just pick it up myself? Goddamn, I fuckin' wish.
Making up clever alliterations: Fuck FedEx for fuckin' fuck fuck fuckity fuck shit.