Saturday, April 01, 2006

On This Day of Fools

*The following is NOT a cheap April Fool's Day prank. Though it may be hard to believe, I swear to you that I am not playing a joke.*

Here's what went down... we were walking down Spring Street in Downtown to get lunch at a small French-inspired café when we saw a homeless man taking a dump on the sidewalk. Not wanting to draw attention to his crassness (nor his assness), we diverted our gaze to the other side of the street where a man in a yellow suit was having an argument with a woman in a kimono. Tempers were flaring as they exchanged sharp words about their car collision. At this point, we hastened our walk and arrived at the café. Inside, the decor was simple and Frenchy, though it did smell like B.O. Flower and vine patterns snaked up the walls to the faux-Roman tiles on the ceiling.

A smiling cute asian girl was at the counter dressed in something similar to employees at Hot Dog on a Stick, but she looked as if she enjoyed it. We shuffled passed the crowded seating area to Denise, the asian girl, still smiling.

"Can I help you," she asked.

Having never been there before, I examined their extensive menu. Oddly enough, french dips and french fries were nowhere to be found. I settled on a turkey sandwich on rye and reluctantly gave Denise my order. She reassured me that the meal was very popular and delicious...

Long story short, the sandwich tasted like crap, Denise was punched in the face by an unhappy customer, a turkey sandwich pegged someone in the eye, a dump was taken on the café floor, and a car crashed through the girly wall prints.

We returned to the office... well, my co-workers did -- I was taken into custody for assault, public indecency, and assault with a deadly weapon. I need someone to post bail for me. Fun fact: Did you know that they let you post blogs from behind bars? I did not know that.