Sunday, October 07, 2007

Just Give Me the Goddamn Green Tea One!

Me and my brilliant ideas. It's been about 6 days since I've been to the gym. I have this thing about being lazy.

So today, when I had the biggest most ginormous craving for a Green Tea Sensation smoothie from Robek's, I thought it would be best to make myself work for it. After all, it's not that far from where I live.

So I dragged my fat ass out of the house and began a steady trot. That didn't last long when I felt a very nice burning in my throat. Was it the out of breathness of it all? Perhaps it was the blood trying to squeeze its way through my goo filled blood vessels. Whatever it was, I came to a halt. Suddenly, an epiphany. This was a bad idea. There I was already tired and just down the street.

But the smoothie called! The brilliant Green Teaness of it all! I trudged along despite an assured heart attack. A couple of steps... spit... a couple of steps... spit... a couple of steps... spit... wipe dangle from my chin... a couple of steps...

At last, crawling through the door to the smoothie shoppe, sweat pouring down my frontal lobe, I reached my destiny. And I reached up the counter to a smiling worker.

"What can I get for you?" she asked.

The answer plinkoed off my parched tongue. "G-G-Green Tea Sensation. Regular."

She glared at me. "Okay, sir. But just so you know, it's called a Green Tea Serenity now." Apparently the name Green Tea Sensation was taken and they were probably served a cease and desist. BUT WHO THE HELL CARES?!

What should it matter what I call it, so long as it's not officially called a Sensation. It's not like there are 10 different kinds of Green Tea smoothies available. Once I say the words "Green Tea," the workers should ignore any insignificant words after. "Green Tea" and boom! it should be known what I want.

But get this: if the smoothie's name has changed, then how come the take out menu still says "Sensation?" It boggles the mind!

Pigheaded as it may seem, I will NEVER call it "Serenity." In part because "Serenity" is a dumb word. Secondly, it's one more syllable than "Sensation." It's a stupid change! They shouldn't make it such a mouthful to order. Just call it the damn Green Tea One and BE DONE WITH IT!!! In fact, I should just be able to ask for the green one and that should suffice. How many other green smoothies do they sell?

Okay, don't mind me. I'm just a little on edge because I've got some hefty deadlines coming up.

Oh the overreactiveness of it all,