It's 2009 and that usually means "New Year - New You."
But I'm facing something terribly disturbing at the moment. I am finding that I think my soul is dissolving. What brought this thought on actually happened months ago, but only now did I put together the pieces.
I was in the shower running down my third bar of Lever 2000 when it occurred to me to combine the three worn down mini-bars into one normal sized one. I took the three pieces into my hand and compressed them tightly, like Superman turning coal into diamonds. However, no matter how tightly I crushed them in my hand, they would not meld into one. When I was younger, merging two soap pieces was such an easy occurrence, but now it seems like such an impossible phenomenon.
Which brings me to my only logical conclusion: I no longer have a soul. It's the only explanation for not having the warmth in my palms to form new life (by which I do mean the soap).
You may think I'm full of crap, but there is just no other reasoning for it. Please pray for me.
Taking me not so seriously,